u/LogicalAd7085

Hi everyone. I'll try to describe my issue without revealing a lot of identifying information.

We're a small team (less than ten people). My manager seems to pick apart everything I do, and initially I thought it was because he viewed it as mentorship, but lately, it feels as though he's just a lot harsher on me than the rest of the team. He's said during one-on-ones previously how he's reminded of himself when he began working, and how I should learn how to say no to things.

He apparently seems annoyed that I ask questions to confirm or clarify things before moving forward, but has no issues when other team members do the same thing, it almost feels as though he's given up on trying to approve my work. At the same time, when I do ask him to review things, he changes things significantly. For context, I'm basically the youngest in the team and definitely also not a senior employee by any means.

My manager's also comfortable handing me projects that need start-to-end service, but never acknowledges when I finish the job smoothly. At times brushes off me handling difficult clients as, "I don't have anything to do with that". At the same time, other team members get treated with a lot more politeness. I get in trouble if I'm thorough, so as to say "this doesn't need to be said" and if I'm not, either.

I don't know how I'm performing because of this apart from the overwhelming criticism at times. It's like being majorly blindsided. The rest of the team seems to have taken this dynamic as some sort of permission to try and poke holes into my work. I'm not a pro but fairly experienced at visual design and handle that side of things, but people whose output is far worse seem to agree on how to do things and steamroll my work. Lately they've taken to trying and rushing that part of our workload secretly or, to use a more politically correct term, unilaterally.

Of course, I understand that I am narrating this from a position of bias, and will only be able to tell my side. Some of the feedback I've gotten includes a need to be confident and take on less work and learn to say no, and to be more detail oriented.

I'm learning to make airtight arguments for my decisions. But at the same time, I won't be lying if I said I've received completely contradictory instructions from the same person more than once. I think that's the main reason I feel lost. The level of nitpicking also lowers my morale quite a lot and I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive.

It also feels like the more details I try to add to my work, the less people actually go through it. I could send five emails back and forth about something with the team copied in and they'll come back asking for the most basic information that's Right There™️.

Yesterday I was discussing a handover before my annual leave and people barely involved in a particular process have said to the team members I was briefing "It's not that bad, don't worry, it's quite easy". Or when people hand things over to me, it's expected that the process will move forward. When I hand things over, my manager says "the team is only expected to reactively manage this" or "I don't want Mr Difficult Client calling up the team and asking them Difficult Unreasonable Questions, so just tell him to keep them in copy and I can manage the rest".

Is the situation too bad to hope for any sort of change in the attitudes of my coworkers? Did I need to start looking for new jobs yesterday? Am I completely misinterpreting the situation? I'm happy to add context where required, please do ask.

Sincerely,

A lost Young One