مادري شفيني
I don't know if I've become too fragile or just...less tolerant of people throughout the years. I'm sure some of you can relate as you grow older. Sorry if it seems like I'm vague-posting, it's just... maybe it has to do with the fact of reaching a certain age (I'm 33 btw) that we just don't wanna deal with it.
My friend group is much smaller than it used to be- some would consider that a godsend and I do cherish my bestfriends. My parents are divorced. I have a healthy relationship with both (somewhat) and I love my mother to death.
Idk where I'm going with this but do you ever just...feel like an alien even amongst those that you're closest to? I have great difficulty telling my friends of my problems sometimes and I don't wanna burden them with anything... I also just have difficulty expressing myself (you probably gathered that much by this post)
I used to be more trusting... more tolerant... I used to reply more. Now, there are times where I wake up and just completely shut down... I don't wanna talk. I just wanna play videogames or lounge around watching movies with my cats as my only company. That sounds like paradise to some and I admit, I do feel privileged and am thankful to God for everything. However, there is always that nagging feeling of loneliness deep down.
Does anyone get that? I feel...nonchalant. I don't wanna talk. Yet... I want to? Idk...
I should also mention that my bestfriends live busier lives (naturally) and they don't fully share in my interests (movies, videogames...etc) Idk.. maybe that adds to my loneliness?
Sorry... I'm not really good at this and I don't wanna make this any longer than it has to be. I know it culminates to "boo-hoo, my lobster is too buttery, my steak is too juicy!" to some and I apologize if I gave that impression. It was not my intention 🙏