u/Lost-Neighborhood219

I've known since 2nd year, I'm now waiting for my leaving cert results to go to college. I've tried coming in out before in 3rd year & I nearly got kicked out. I don't see a future anymore, I've tried attempting before & I might again next week. My only hope is maybe getting diy but I have no idea where to get it, let alone have the funds for it since I can't get a job due to my mental disorders & lack of work experience(skipped ty). I genuinely can't see any future anymore. I've been so desperate but I know it's all futile. If anything I at least want to be remembered not by my dead name but at Violet

I'm sorry there's been so much on my mind I had to vent somewhere.

I've been learning 3 finger plucking, both R-M-I-M & R-M-I-R-M-I, I'm starting to get it & both feel comfortable to use but I'm having trouble incorporating them to lines I already know, the muscle memory is throwing me off. What are some good bass lines to get more used to the technique & improve stamina & consistency. Figuring a lot of metal bass lines since I discovered it from John Myung & Alex Webster but any genre will do. Also any tips to make it more comfortable is also greatly appreciated

On Thursday my school is having a senior dress up day & in planning on dressing up in femme clothes for the first time publicly (simple skirt & tights) I'll be spending the night at my mates house to avoid my parents finding out. I'm really excited cause it'll be the first time I'll be my true self outside my room but also scared about some of my classmates (typical yup bros & chavs type) but I also couldn't care at this point. I've known since 2nd year & it's my final chance plus 2nd to last day so who cares anymore. I'm still worried I might chicken out but if I don't I'll try to update how it went.

Update: That was actually one of the best things I ever decided to do. I actually felt like myself for the first time in literally years. & The best part is that no one was judging which I was most worried about. Nobody seemed to notice or care & when they did see, they just thought it was cool, no hate, no slagging except for the 'femboy' names which I embraced (I don't actually mind them). I'm so glad it went well, sure I could've braved the storm & walked to school wearing it & done more makeup than just mascara but I don't mind. I felt human. I felt alive. For the first time I was the person I've hidden from everyone for years. I hope this will be the first step & my long transition to become who I truly am

I'm pre transition (mtf) but for just under a year I've been getting myself some femme clothes to wear for euphoria, currently 3 skirts, 2 shorts, top , makeup & a few pairs of tights. I love wearing them but I'm scared my unsupportive parents will find them. I'm worried that it might happen but I don't want to purge them before it happens. I've tried coming out to them a few years ago & it didn't work but I'm desperate now, it's been killing me.

Sorry this post basically is nothing I just needed to get this out of me.