u/Lost_Requirement8887

▲ 47 r/antisex

Misandry and misogyny are not the same

Both misogyny and misandry are bad, but they’re not equally bad, since the latter has never existed nor been enforced on the same scale or with the same severity. In a patriarchal society, misogyny has more systemic power than misandry because the culture itself is not structured in a way that favors misandry. Sure, feminism exists, and some men now face consequences they previously could avoid, but that’s closer to vigilantism or social backlash than institutional power, isn’t it?

There are widespread misogynistic sexual practices, but barely any misandrist ones, because the scale of bodily harm, social conditioning, and systemic oppression simply isn’t comparable.

I hate all sex, but some forms of sex disgust me more than others because, in addition to the exchange of unhygienic bodily fluids, there is often degradation and sometimes even physical abuse involved. If we are talking about mainstream PIV sex here, even the material consequences are not equal. In this context, women are often the ones violated (and forced to bear the risk of being parasitized by a fetus), while men are the violators. That’s why we speak about misogyny.

By contrast, misandry is so frequently used as a whataboutist deflection by antifeminists to derail conversations about misogyny rather than arising from any genuine structural oppression. For that reason, especially if we are talking about our disgust toward sex, misogyny is the more relevant analytical framework for understanding what many people here are expressing.

This vocabulary also allows men to articulate their discomfort, disgust, shame and guilt with sex without redirecting the conversation into claims of equivalent victimization. You have standards and morals like the rest of us do — why should that be a bad thing?

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u/Lost_Requirement8887 — 5 days ago

It was genuinely so wonderful I cried when I woke up because wdym It's just a dream and It's over now😭 It was about a middle-aged guy (I just instinctively knew)Hard to describe what relationship we had, it was just... really really intimate? But also none of it felt sexualized?? A lot of details was glossed over (for example whether he's tall or short, fit or slim) because they are not important, one thing is for sure he was not physically intimidating at all, more like a cuddly teddy bear. The most prominent feeling was this intense fondness I had towards him, that he's so cute and warm I want to adore and caress him all over, showering him with endless kisses and nibbles (this is NOT foreplay, this is THE play) We are literally licking and grooming each other like kittens... I remember how his stubbles felt like cat's tiny sandpapery tongue when he rubs it against my neck. At one point I licked his cheek and he got all giddy and asked “You think I’m tasty?” in this completely innocent way 😭 I still feel warm inside, I just want to share this beautiful vision with you

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u/Lost_Requirement8887 — 15 days ago