Is it inappropriate to want to be asked to do the dishes?
I do the dishes sometimes, more often I'm sweeping or picking things up and organizing living spaces. But I do dishes.
And sometimes I don't. It's a task both me and my wife do. She never says "please do the dishes", or "can you do the dishes?". She always says "don't forget to do the dishes." Even if we hadn't specifically planned who would do them.
If she's in a bad mood she will start out with "you haven't done the dishes!" Or some form of what feels like an attack to me. I can have a broom in my hand or the garbage and she will start telling me about the chores I am not doing.
She says I shouldn't need to be asked. It's another thing for her to keep in mind that she shouldn't have to think about. She says that she always does them without me asking, but recently there are weeks where she doesn't do any and I do have to ask.
I have to work at home today so I'll be home and she is going to the beach with our daughter. She says I need to do them because she is out taking care of our daughter, but when I'm at home watching her it's the same, I should have done the dishes or some other chore anyway. It feels like a double standard because when I'm caring for our kid I am accused if not doing enough, and when she is she is "doing all that work" so I should just do the chores.
So am I supposed to just do them? Am I out of line in wanting her to ask me, preferably nicely, instead of tell me?