r/MenAskWomen

I’ve had one relationship in my life that lasted two years back in uni, and we couldn’t have penetrative sex at all because I had phimosis and it was super duper painful when we tried. We just stuck to making out, oral and toys as well as a LOOOT of cuddling and non sexual intimacy. I couldn’t get treated as health insurance was an issue for me back then. My ex could only get off to oral anyway so she didn’t feel it was an issue.

Fast forward I’m a working professional now and I finally got the issue fixed earlier this year. But I’m still not really comfortable with penetrative sex and honestly I think it may take me a while to come around on this. I need to really feel safe, loved, and comfortable before I commit to doing that with a woman and I can’t really provide a guarantee or timeline on when that might happen. For me building a deep emotional connection is an absolute necessity first.

I guess all this to say is that I’d like to be in a relationship where penetrative sex isn’t a constant expectation at least initially, and one where a lack of penetrative sex doesn’t lead to my GF feeling rejected or miserable and ultimately lead to the demise of the relationship. I’m more than happy to engage in everything else, for me cuddling is probably my favorite thing to do with a partner because that is (among other things) what builds trust, closeness and safety for me, and it feels special beyond comparison :) And when I say cuddling I mean cuddling just for the sake of cuddling not cuddling that has to lead to anything else. And no I wouldn’t consider myself asexual just someone who needs a lot of time love and trust before this particular act.

My concern is that my friends say the vast majority of women would find me to be a dealbreaker and I’m kinda concerned they’re right. I mean I get it, penetrative sex is super important to most people and is kind of a must in a relationship for them, but is it really that dire for me? I’m just concerned and also don’t wanna waste women’s time.

Anyways given my unique situation I thought it’d be cool to open this up to some discussion. Yes, I understand women are not a monolith, I am just trying to understand in a general sense how such a situation would be perceived by individual women my age and get an idea of what I might expect.

Hi all, I am a middle aged gay guy. I know absolutely nothing about feminine hygiene products aside from the fact that there are pads and tampons.

I am hosting my family’s holiday party this year, and thought it might be a good idea if we provided a hygiene area for women if they needed something, just like a basket in the restroom.

The problem is I have literally no idea what to buy. Are there sizes? Are there things that also need bought like wipes etc?

I ask this genuinely. What would be some good to have items?

I definitely have done a few embarrassing things in pursuit of romance 😭,so I would love to hear what it’s like from the other side of the fence.
Thank you all in advance!

I know this might be similar to a few questions that have been asked here recently, but I’ll add some twists, especially since it seems there’s plenty of bookworms on here!

1. What genres do you like to read? Whether it’s nonfiction(I know there’s plenty of different topics) or fiction?

2 when reading, do you have any preference on how you do it? Meaning are you more of a kindle/digital type of reader or hardcover or does it depend?

3 What’s the best book(s) you’ve read in 2026 so far?

I always love to see what people are reading! Especially when it’s fiction

Recently my wife’s (45) odor down there has changed. I do not want to shame her, and perhaps it’s normal, but want to find a way to politely have the conversation. Thoughts ?

I really need some women to weigh in on this, or honestly just anyone who can translate what is happening, because my head is spinning.

​I am 46 and the woman I am talking to is 52. We have known each other for about three months. Three weeks ago, I laid my cards on the table and told her straight up that I want us to start dating.

​She said yes, but told me she wants to be friends first.

​Fair enough, take it slow, right? Except since our first date, she has told me she sees me as her man.

​We kiss. When she hugs me, it is the most nurturing, warm feeling in the world. She calls me constantly. She tells people that I bring her so much peace and comfort, and she tells me all the time that I do not realize how much she truly appreciates me. She always says she is a simple woman who just loves the simple things in life and loves what I bring to the table. Shoot, I bought her flowers recently, and she told me I was the first man to ever buy her flowers in her entire 52 years of life.

​She is not talking to anyone else or seeing anyone else. It is just me. But she came out of a traumatic relationship back in July where her ex was physically and mentally abusive. Because of that, she wants to hold off on being intimate until we are an official couple. I respect that 100%. I want her to feel safe, protected, and never rushed.

​What has me twisted up is trying to figure out what zone I am actually standing in. We kiss, we hold each other, she calls me her man, but we are supposed to be just friends first, yet we cannot be an official couple yet. Did she put me on layaway? Did she slap a reserved tag on my forehead at customer service? I have to laugh a little so I do not go crazy trying to figure out the logic.

​The honest, scary truth is that I have not fallen in love like this with anyone in over 27 years. I have been in relationships since, but this woman is just completely different. My heart is all the way in this, which makes it terrifying to navigate.

​If any woman has been in her shoes, or any guy has lived through this, what does this really mean? How do I handle this the right way without losing my mind or pushing her away?

I feel like I have cultivated a lot of great qualities as a person now, I believe I can be a good partner. But I can also tell people are living with subtle expectations, so I want to be aware of them and respond with those in mind when meeting people I'm interested in.

Also, how does the fact I'm not immediately looking to have sex with who I meet contribute to relationships? I would appreciate any stories that relate to this.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

Why are some people naturally confident, approachable, grounded, and able to draw others toward them without seeming like they’re trying?

It’s almost like they were iron before, and somehow became a magnet.

A lot of people can tell you what to do—be confident, work on yourself, communicate better, etc. But that still leaves the bigger question: how do you actually develop these qualities?

Is there a clear process behind building a strong personality, or is it mostly the result of experiences, failures, relationships, and time?

And what about people who didn’t grow up with many of those experiences? People who never really had the opportunity to develop confidence, social skills, relationships, or a strong sense of themselves—can they consciously build these qualities later in life?

I’d genuinely like to hear perspectives from people who have experienced this themselves, especially through dating, relationships, and personal growth. Any perspective is welcome.

Hey everyone,

Sometimes we experience things that feel completely surreal or terrifying, but when we try to explain them to friends or family, they brush it off or think we're exaggerating.

Whether it was a bizarre encounter, a gut-feeling moment that turned out to be right, or something unexplained—what is that one terrifying thing that happened to you that nobody actually believed?

Would love to read your stories.