u/jibofyourcutt

Im 33 yo black male and I'm pretty alt. I'm into art, poetry, metal, goth music, fashion, festivals, paganism, etc. Basically anything weird, (but also fitness) which means pretty much all my interests are white domianted and I cannot meet women to save my life. I'm not aiming for any race of women specifically, but women who share my interests, but its def much harder when you're different from most everyone else.

Even the bars I go to are pretty racially inversed. I'm tall, in shape and I dress really well...I've gotten compliments from women in passing on ocassion for my hair or attire, but I cannot meet women to save my life.

I know its subjective for everyone, bjt how much does race marrer for women in the age range?​

I don't mean like going up to you asking for a date, but if you're at a convention, festival, bar, etc somewhere social and you're with friends, and a guy comes over and asks about your band shirt or tattoo or jacket or something. It seems every time I go out and want to meet a woman, she's in a group, and the notion of trying to talk to someone in a group seems daunting and bothersome af, esp bc of my anxiety. So I'm wondering what the general consensus is on that?

I asked the picture holder, but they forgot lol.

I don't mean like going up to you asking for a date, but if you're at a convention, festival, bar, etc somewhere social and you're with friends, and a guy comes over and asks about your band shirt or tattoo or jacket or something. It seems every time I go out and want to meet a woman, she's in a group, and the notion of trying to talk to someone in a group seems daunting and bothersome af, esp bc of my anxiety. So I'm wondering what the general consensus is on that?

I'm a 33M, pretty alternative, I'm into metal, the occult, art, poetry, nature, paganism, fitness, video games, goth, etc and I cannot find women into the same niches as me: witchy, gothy, artsy, hippie, spiritual, nerdy, creative, etc. women. I'.ve tried bars, concerts, art shows, festivals, conventions, etc and the women are always young or just not there.

Maybe my location sucks. Am I just too old lol? Where do all the alt women my age go?

I'm a 33M, pretty alternative, im into metal, the occult, art, poetry, nature, paganis, fitness, video games, goth, etc and i cannot find women into the same niches as me: witchy, gothy, artsy, hippie, spiritual, nerdy, creative, etc women. Ive tried bars, concerts, art shows, festivals, conventions, etc and the women are always young or just not there.

Maybe my location sucks. Am I just too old lol? Where do all the alt women my age go?

33M, last weekend going out to a bar with a friend, I got 8 different compliments that night, 3 of them from women. I understand people get way more than that or whatever, but what I don't understand is how I can get that and be dateless. I'm 6'3, I dress really well (all the compliments were about my outfit/vibe) and I'm in pretty good shape, yet I can never actually meet women. I can't even get a like an I've been on like six dating apps for years. One of the women that complimented my outfit was clearly a bf and the other two did it in passing, so it's not like the compliments were actual invitations or anything, but at the least they should mean I'm appealing enough to women.

Moreover, it's not like I'm aiming for hot women or anything: my interests are weird and I'm looking for weird women. Gothy, artsy, hippie, into metal, witchy, nerdy type women. One of my biggest issues is I'm never able to compliment or approach women...at all. I thought the compliments from women would empower me to do so, but they haven't. Do those compliments at least mean I should be more encouraged to approached women?

33M, last weekend going out to a bar with a friend, I got 8 different compliments that night, 3 of them from women. I understand people get way more than that or whatever, but what I don't understand is how I can get that and be dateless. I'm 6'3, I dress really well (all the compliments were about my outfit/vibe) and I'm in pretty good shape, yet I can never actually meet women. I can't even get a like an I've been on like six dating apps for years. One of the women that complimented my outfit was clearly a bf and the other two did it in passing, so it's not like the compliments were actual invitations or anything, but at the least they should mean I'm appealing enough to women.

Moreover, it's not like I'm aiming for hot women or anything: my interests are weird and I'm looking for weird women. Gothy, artsy, hippie, into metal, witchy, nerdy type women. One of my biggest issues is I'm never able to compliment or approach women...at all. I thought the compliments from women would empower me to do so, but they haven't. Do those compliments at least mean I should be more encouraged to approached women?

I'm a 33M, I workout consistently and have a pretty good body, high fashion is a hobby of mine so I dress really well, I groom to the point of heterosexuality, and I've been told I have great hair. Yet my face is mid af so that clearly drags me down, but I don't understand why I see dudes lower in every category than me with women, and I cannot get a date. I get compliments from men on my style all the time, saying I look like Lenny Kravitz, a rockstar, famous, etc and every now and again, get compliments from women on my hair and attire. I do have anxiety, so it's hard for me to approach women, but I've been told I come off more aloof, cold, or disinterested than anxious.

Its not like I'm aiming for hot women or anything...my interests are weird and I prefer weird women, and I care more about a woman's style, humor, disposition, interests, etc than just looks but meeting women still seems impossible. I understand face trumps all, but I figured I compensated enough to overcome my average face, but ig not. Is face really THAT much more important even if you're not seeking the really attractive women?

I'm a 33M, I workout consistently and have a pretty good body, high fashion is a hobby of mine so I dress really well, I groom to the point of metrosexuality, and I've been told I have great hair. Yet my face is mid af so that clearly drags me down, but I don't understand why I see dudes lower in every category than me with women, and I cannot get a date. I get compliments from men on my style all the time, saying I look like Lenny Kravitz, a rockstar, famous, etc and every now and again, get compliments from women on my hair and attire. I do have anxiety, so it's hard for me to approach women, but I've been told I come off more aloof, cold, or disinterested than anxious.

Its not like I'm aiming for hot women or anything...my interests are weird and I prefer weird women, and I care more about a woman's style, humor, disposition, interests, etc than just looks but meeting women still seems impossible. I understand face trumps all, but I figured I compensated enough to overcome my average face, but ig not. Is face really THAT much more important even if you're not seeking the really attractive women?

33M friday night outside of a bar a woman said my hair was stunning, then later leaving the bar another woman said I looked really cool. I'm used to getting compliments from men all the time (earlier some guy stopped and said I had an amazing vibe and my outfit and stance just looked really cool) but not women, so I'm not sure how to respond.

I struggle with anxiety and I'm bad with women so I never know how to respond. A few years ago I used to gets lots of compliments from women on by clothes (one of my hobbies is high fashion so I dress really well) but not lately so it seems foreign to me now. I'm 6'3, I'm in pretty great shape, but I'm a weirdo and and come off as "aloof" as I've been told.

I can't approach women bc of anxiety and it just never seems right...but I feel like the compliments should boots my confidence, but it doesn't. I'm not a good-looking dude...my face is meh, but I'm basically metro so I put a lot of work into my appearance...so I'm just wondering if the compliments mean anything or are people being nice. I get wayyyy more compliments from men so it always feels like compliments from women are just being nice...

33M Last night outside of a bar a woman said my hair was stunning, then later leaving the bar another woman said I looked really cool. I'm used to getting compliments from men all the time (earlier some guy stopped and said I had an amazing vibe and my outfit and stance just looked really cool) but not women, so I'm not sure how to respond.

I struggle with anxiety and I'm bad with women so I never know how to respond. A few years ago I used to gets lots of compliments from women on by clothes (one of my hobbies is high fashion so i dress really well) but not lately so it seems foreign to me now. I'm 6'3, I'm in pretty great shape, but I'm a weirdo and and come off as "aloof" as I've been told. I can't approach women bc of anxiety and it just never seems right...but I feel like the compliments should boots my confidence, but it doesn't. I'm not a good-looking dude...my face is meh, but I'm basically metro so I put a lot of work into my appearance...so I'm just wondering if the compliments mean anything?

33M Last night outside of a bar a woman said my hair was stunning, then later leaving the bar another woman said I looked really cool. I'm used to getting compliments from men all the time (earlier some guy stopped and said I had an amazing vibe and my outfit and stance just looked really cool) but not women, so I'm not sure how to respond.

I struggle with anxiety and I'm bad with women so I never know how to respond. A few years ago I used to gets lots of compliments from women on by clothes (one of my hobbies is high fashion so i dress really well) but not lately so it seems foreign to me now. I'm 6'3, I'm in pretty great shape, but I'm a weirdo and and come off as "aloof" as I've been told. I can't approach women bc of anxiety and it just never seems right...but I feel like the compliments should boots my confidence, but it doesn't. I'm not a good-looking dude...my face is meh, but I'm basically metro so I put a lot of work into my appearance...so I'm just wondering if the compliments mean anything?

33M Last night outside of a bar a woman said my hair was stunning, then later leaving the bar another woman said I looked really cool. I'm used to getting compliments from men all the time (earlier some guy stopped and said I had an amazing vibe and my outfit and stance just looked really cool) but not women, so I'm not sure how to respond.

I struggle with anxiety and I'm bad with women so I never know how to respond. A few years ago I used to gets lots of compliments from women on by clothes (one of my hobbies is high fashion so i dress really well) but not lately so it seems foreign to me now. I'm 6'3, I'm in pretty great shape, but I'm a weirdo and and come off as "aloof" as I've been told. I can't approach women bc of anxiety and it just never seems right...but I feel like the compliments should boots my confidence, but it doesn't. I'm not a good-looking dude...my face is meh, but I'm basically metro so I put a lot of work into my appearance...so I'm just wondering if the compliments mean anything?

I'm 33, introverted, and deal with anxiety, so meeting new people has never come naturally. My current social circle is... fine, I guess, but I don't have much in common with most of my friends, and their idea of going out is usually just hitting bars, which has never really been my thing.

The kinds of people I naturally click with tend to be nerdy, artsy, witchy, alternative, goth, quirky, creative... basically people with more unconventional interests, because that's who I am too. I'd love to date someone like that eventually, but honestly I'd also just like more friends in those circles. Meeting like-minded people in general has been really difficult.

What makes this frustrating is that I've put a lot of effort into myself over the years. I run and work out several times a week, I take care of my grooming and skincare, I'm genuinely into fashion, and I'm 6'3". I only mention that because otherwise people immediately jump to, "Well, do you take care of yourself?" Yes, I do.

For example, I went out with friends last weekend to a few bars and a festival. I got at least five compliments over the course of the night... every single one from other guys. One asked if I was a musician, another said I looked like Lenny Kravitz, a couple complimented my outfit. So I don't think I'm some unkempt, socially oblivious disaster. But women just never seem to engage with me at all.

Another issue is that I genuinely don't know where to meet the kinds of people I'm talking about. I see them on dating apps, but dating apps have been a complete dead end despite years of trying. I've spent way too much time tweaking profiles, changing photos, and troubleshooting everything I can think of, and I still can't get a single like.

I'm into things like paganism, the occult, darkwave, museums, hiking, art shows, poetry, metal concerts, artsy and nature-focused festivals, weird conventions, macabre literature, film, fashion... basically all the places and hobbies where you'd think I'd run into like-minded people. But somehow I never do. I've even volunteered at an art gallery and tried Meetup, but the groups around here are pretty limited, and neither has really led anywhere.

If I do happen to see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually overthink it until I talk myself out of saying anything. I care a lot about not making someone uncomfortable, so I probably err too far on the side of being respectful and keep everything completely platonic. But honestly, that almost feels beside the point, because I rarely even end up in situations where there are women I connect with in the first place.

It's gotten to the point where a friend of mine is basically begging to be my wingman and is desperately trying to get me to talk to women, and at this point, I think I'll finally have to do it. But again, with the overthinking: idk where or how I should even begin. My friends mostly go to bars, so it'll likely be there mostly...Like, I know it's subjective, and there's no perfect way, but what's the best way for someone who takes themselves too seriously to approach women? should I buy them drinks?

I'm 33, introverted, and deal with anxiety, so meeting new people has never come naturally. My current social circle is... fine, I guess, but I don't have much in common with most of my friends, and their idea of going out is usually just hitting bars, which has never really been my thing.

The kinds of people I naturally click with tend to be nerdy, artsy, witchy, alternative, goth, quirky, creative... basically people with more unconventional interests, because that's who I am too. I'd love to date someone like that eventually, but honestly I'd also just like more friends in those circles. Meeting like-minded people in general has been really difficult.

What makes this frustrating is that I've put a lot of effort into myself over the years. I run and work out several times a week, I take care of my grooming and skincare, I'm genuinely into fashion, and I'm 6'3". I only mention that because otherwise people immediately jump to, "Well, do you take care of yourself?" Yes, I do.

For example, I went out with friends last weekend to a few bars and a festival. I got at least five compliments over the course of the night... every single one from other guys. One asked if I was a musician, another said I looked like Lenny Kravitz, a couple complimented my outfit. So I don't think I'm some unkempt, socially oblivious disaster. But women just never seem to engage with me at all.

The bigger issue is that I genuinely don't know where to meet the kinds of people I'm talking about. I see them on dating apps, but dating apps have been a complete dead end despite years of trying. I've spent way too much time tweaking profiles, changing photos, and troubleshooting everything I can think of, and I still can't get a single like.

I'm into things like paganism, the occult, darkwave, museums, hiking, art shows, poetry, metal concerts, artsy and nature-focused festivals, weird conventions, macabre literature, film, fashion... basically all the places and hobbies where you'd think I'd run into like-minded people. But somehow I never do. I've even volunteered at an art gallery and tried Meetup, but the groups around here are pretty limited, and neither has really led anywhere.

If I do happen to see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually overthink it until I talk myself out of saying anything. I care a lot about not making someone uncomfortable, so I probably err too far on the side of being respectful and keep everything completely platonic. But honestly, that almost feels beside the point, because I rarely even end up in situations where there are women I connect with in the first place.

It's gotten to the point where a friend of mine is basically begging to be my wingman and is desperately trying to get me to talk to women, and at this point, I think I'll finally have to do it. But again, with the overthinking: idk where or how I should even begin. My friends mostly go to bars, so it'll likely be there mostly...Like, I know it's subjective, and there's no perfect way, but what's the best way for someone who takes themselves too seriously to approach women? should I buy them drinks?