u/Lovergull_2_love

I was on a first date with a guy and btw he knows that I am trans.. when we were walking out a homeless guy asked for a lighter and both of us don't have it.. he then looked at me straight in the eyes and said very loudly "you looked like a tr^nny", I just wanted to disappear at that point.. the guy I was with said he did not like it and he did not do anything about it.. I felt shit after being called a slur and lose all my confidence..

It was very awkward. The guy I was with knows im Trans but he said he did not like what happened. I feel like shit.

11 months on HRT and sometimes I still can’t believe how much has changed.

This journey has been anything but easy. There have been so many moments of doubt, loneliness, and wondering whether I made the right choice. Learning how to express myself, finding my style, becoming comfortable in my body, and actually allowing myself to be me has taken a lot more courage than I expected.

The picture on the left feels like another lifetime sometimes. I don’t hate that version of me. That person got me here. But when I look at the picture on the right, I see someone who is finally starting to recognize herself.
I’m still a work in progress, and I still have difficult days, but for once I’m excited to see where this journey takes me.

11 months down. Here’s to the next chapter. 🦋💕

TBH, I’ve thought about giving up multiple times.

One of my biggest fears is that I’m going to be alone forever, that no one will truly want me or love me for who I am because I’m trans. That thought has been eating away at me more than I want to admit.

I’m getting close to crossing the one-year mark on HRT, and that scares me too. It feels like I’m reaching a point where going back isn’t really an option anymore, and sometimes I genuinely don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep moving forward.

It’s lonely out here. Being trans is fucking hard.
People will tell you they understand what you’re going through, and I know most of them mean well, but sometimes it feels like nobody truly understands unless they’ve actually lived it. The loneliness, the uncertainty, constantly questioning yourself, wanting to be loved and accepted as yourself while wondering if that will ever happen.

I just awant to be able to exist as myself and feel like that’s enougha. I want to believe that someone can love me as I am.

Right now, I’m just struggling to believe it.

August 2025 vs August 2026

It’s kind of surreal seeing these two photos next to each other.

A year between them, and somehow it feels like both no time at all and an entire lifetime. The person on the left had no idea what the next year would bring or how much would change, physically and emotionally.

The person on the right is still figuring things out. I’m still learning how to exist in a body that feels different, how to handle emotions that sometimes feel way bigger than I know what to do with, and how to recognize myself as I continue changing.

It hasn’t been an easy year, and I’m definitely not at the point where I have everything figured out. But looking back at where I was last August makes me realize just how much can change in a year.
August 2025 → August 2026.
Same person. A very different chapter.

I don’t really know how to write this without sounding dramatic, but I’m coming up on a year on HRT and lately I’ve been struggling so much.
I cry almost every day. I feel extremely emotional, needy, scared, and overwhelmed by everything going on in my head and with my body. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I don’t know how to handle myself anymore.
I’ve been going to therapy every other week and I’m trying to work through everything, but right now it doesn’t feel like it’s helping much. I’m tired of feeling this way, and lately I’ve been getting closer and closer to just wanting to give up.
I know 11 months isn’t that long and transitioning takes time. I know I’m probably being way too hard on myself. But knowing those things doesn’t magically make the feelings disappear.
So I guess I’m posting these pictures because I could really use some kindness right now. Maybe hearing something nice from a few strangers will help me see myself a little differently, even if it’s just for today.
I’m trying. I really am.