u/Low_Mark491

That’s really the simplest way to explain what I’m looking for.

I want to know what you actually think about things. I want the story you don’t usually tell until you’ve known someone for a while. I want to know what you’ve changed your mind about and what you’re still trying to understand about yourself.

I want the conversation that starts with a movie and somehow ends three hours later with us talking about God or our childhood or whether people can ever really know each other.

I like flirting. I like attraction. I very much like kissing. But the thing that really gets me is feeling like somebody has opened a door and let me see inside who they are.

And yes, I know intimacy takes time. I’m not asking you to hand me your entire psyche in the first message or let me manufacture a relationship with a version of you I’ve invented in my head. I just want someone who is clearly interested in going there, who wants to know me that way too, and most especially puts in the work to get there by asking a curious question and then finding 10 follow up questions in the answer.

The thing is I’m just not great at endless “How was your day?” conversation. I care so much about your day. I’ll remember the name of the coworker who keeps making it worse. But I also want to know what your day made you think about. I want a conversation that keeps unfolding instead of becoming a daily exchange of status reports.

I’m also not great at endless “get to know you” questions that don’t lead to deeper conversations either. I don’t want to interview each other for days or take turns exchanging facts.

See, I don’t just want to know what your favorite movie is. I want to know why it matters to you. I want to understand how your mind works and how you became the person you are. I want to know what it made you feel and why.

Practical stuff: I prefer someone close-ish geography wise but I'd be open to long distance for the right person. If we can keep each other up too late talking and still want more the next day, geography feels like something we can figure out. But I’d eventually want a real life together, because I’m not looking for a permanent pen pal. I’m looking for a life partner.

I’m (nearly) divorced after a long marriage and have two nearly grown kids. My life is changing, but I’m not looking for someone to rescue me from it. I’m looking for the person I want to build the next part with.

Physical attraction matters, so going in you should know I'm 6'0" -- bearded, a few tattoos, I work out a decent amount but have a perpetual dad bod. Not the most handsome. Not the ugliest.

I do best with direct communication. If you like me but want to move slowly, say that. If you’re unsure but want to keep finding out, say that. If I make your heart flutter when you see a notification from me, I want to hear that.

I don’t need constant reassurance. I just appreciate people who are willing to consistently tell the truth about where they are instead of assuming the other person knows. Or even worse, someone who just slowly disappears.

And since this post is about wanting someone I can talk openly with, that includes sex too.

I want a relationship where sex isn’t something we can do together but somehow can’t talk about afterward. I want to be able to say what felt good, ask what you liked and laugh together when something absolutely did not work. I want us to be able to keep learning each other instead of expecting sexual compatibility to happen automatically and then never discussing it.

That doesn’t mean I want to turn our first conversation into sexting. Please don’t interpret this as an elaborate request for spicy time the first time we connect, and I promise not to introduce myself with an explicit photo of myself.

I’m bringing it up because being able to talk about sex is a huge part of emotional intimacy for me. I want someone who can be playful and honest about it once we’ve built that kind of trust. Someone who wants sex to be an open, fun part of the relationship instead of a taboo.

So.........as I was saying.

Ah yes, emotional slut. Completely fascinated by what goes on inside other people and hoping to find one particular person I never get tired of discovering and who never gets tired of my curiosity.

If you're interested and actually made it to the end, reach out and tell me something you often feel misunderstood about.

I’ve been thinking lately that the problem with dating apps is that compatibility has so much less to do with having the same hobbies and more to do with how two people move through the world.

Do you stop to watch sunsets? Are you awed by the vastness of the universe? Do you ask follow-up questions because you’re genuinely curious?

Those things matter more to me than whether we both like pickleball.

I’m 45. Dad to two amazing teens who are getting more independent by the day. I'm looking for a co-pilot for the next phase of life.

I like back roads more than highways. Farmers markets more than malls. James Taylor on a Sunday evening drive. Long walks where the conversation wanders from childhood memories to why people become who they are.

The last couple of years have knocked me around a bit. I’m not bitter about it. If anything, it’s made me a better listener and a lot less interested in pretending to have everything figured out.

I’m looking for someone who’s emotionally available, kind, and can laugh at herself. Someone who’d rather spend three hours talking on a porch than shouting over music at a bar.

Tell me something that’s changed your mind recently.

I’ve been thinking lately that the problem with dating apps is that compatibility has so much less to do with having the same hobbies and more to do with how two people move through the world.

Do you stop to watch sunsets? Are you awed by the vastness of the universe? Do you ask follow-up questions because you’re genuinely curious?

Those things matter more to me than whether we both like pickleball.

I’m 45. Dad to two amazing teens who are getting more independent by the day. I'm looking for a co-pilot for the next phase of life.

I like back roads more than highways. Farmers markets more than malls. James Taylor on a Sunday evening drive. Long walks where the conversation wanders from childhood memories to why people become who they are.

The last couple of years have knocked me around a bit. I’m not bitter about it. If anything, it’s made me a better listener and a lot less interested in pretending to have everything figured out.

I’m looking for someone who’s emotionally available, kind, and can laugh at herself. Someone who’d rather spend three hours talking on a porch than shouting over music at a bar.

Tell me something that’s changed your mind recently.