u/Lucky_Helicopter_816

Listening to the audio book and it is clear CW was completely checked out and detached from his family. They were not even a thought anymore. Time again and again, Shanann would plead with him and he would just ignore her and message Kessinger. I have never seen that level of disassociation with anyone. Even people who aren’t involved in someone’s life, can still empathize with others. He is devoid of any feeling. Which makes me wonder why he even pursed Kessinger? I’m thinking it was purely a sexual release as he only thinks of himself. He probably used her like a human flesh light. But, he sent her love notes and professed his love. But, were those just him trying to act human so he could get more sex? I don’t believe CW is capable of feeling anything for anyone. Even his father, who he supposedly adores. I think he doesn’t even love him. Or his mother. Or his sister. What he did to his wife and kids and unborn son is so horrific and deranged that I can’t even fathom it. It is so baffling to me. I can’t even imagine, it is that awful. My brain wants to have a logical answer and there is none.

There’s a difference between being cost conscious and being a straight up cheap person. I’m not wealthy, not even close. I eat at home. I don’t splurge. I am careful where I spend. But, I will never sell my used underwear or shoes that have been ran through till they have holes. I won’t try to flip my cracked beach sandals for $15.00 when I bought them for $5.00 ten years prior. I’m so tired of seeing people trying to pawn their gross ass shit to get money. I’ll go to garage sales and it’s literally straight up garbage. For example, we had a garage sale and had brand new kids clothes, never worn with tags for $1.00 each. We had a brand new stroller, used barely for $10.00. We had video games, Nintendo switch and ps5 games for $10.00. Our goal was to down size and to give people who can’t afford things a chance. We had single mothers and families coming in droves to our sale. Sold everything. Not one item was damaged or worn out. Even some families couldn’t afford things and we just gave them the stuff for free. A little girl wanted some stuff but she said she couldn’t afford it and I gave it to her and then some more toys. Yet, I’ll go on Facebook and someone will be trying to sell their dirty ass new balance shoes that have been chewed to shit for $30.00. To me, it pet peeves me because it speaks more about the person and where their morals are at.

I’ve watched documentaries, reviewed body cam footage, watched interrogations, watched police interviews, read testimonies from family and friends of both CW and Shannan. Have read books about the case. Have read opinion articles and factual articles. Have watched deep dives and conspiracy theories. I’ve gone all in on this and tonight feel I can start to make sense of it.

*********Also, this is purely my OPINION and based on my research. This is how I perceive it. It does not mean I’m correct.**************

Shannan was a strong individual. Theres no denying that. With her early childhood isolation and health problems, she persevered. Even building her own mansion at such a young age is just unheard of. She was a golden woman who Chris never deserved. He never deserved his kids or his unborn son. A woman like her would never have given him the time of day, if it wasn’t for her heart. She was gorgeous and funny and talented and amazingly intelligent. And I believe her childhood rejection and her lupus and fibromyalgia brought down her self esteem, where she unconsciously or consciously settled for Chris. It was even said that they didn’t hit it off amazingly well in the beginning. It was when he took care of her during her lupus flareup is when she fell for him.

Chris and his mistress on the other hand were both meek and complacent. I believe when Nichol Kessinger showed any interest in Chris that it shocked him as he had never been the one who was pursued. Nichol was the same level as Chris on terms of being laid back and unambitious. They went to work, did their thing, and “all was good man.” They both were free spirits and wanted to just have a burger and go play. Nichol was the girlfriend Chris never had when he was younger. The one where you just fuck off and nothing matters.

Which, brings up another issue. Shannan was truly good for Chris. And here’s why. The people in my life who have tested me and made me work harder are those who have been there for me the most. Those who have let me do my thing but say they are always there for me, have all disappeared. Shanann’s determination and dominant personality was true love, even though Chris couldn’t see it. She was fiercely devoted to him, where as all he saw was a controller. It’s because she fought back and checked him on his bullshit. And his ego couldn’t handle that.

So, Chris decided to eliminate his wife and his kids and erase what he felt was a mistake in his life. Even though he was laid back, he was very meticulous and I felt he was a perfectionist, meaning annihilating his family was the only logical solution to him. He thought if he could take them out of the equation that he could start fresh. Just like finishing his auto projects and beginning on another car. Chris was very mechanical in his thinking.

From first hearing about this case with extreme bewilderment to diving deep into it, I can begin to understand more the complexities of Chris. He is a spineless and selfish person, who I believe is undiagnosed autistic. (I am autistic btw and when Chris talked about not wanting to be filmed or be the center of attention and just wanting to work on his cars, is how I feel. I’m very antisocial.) But, I have empathy and compassion for others so much that it takes a toll on me. I can’t imagine being heartless. I can’t fathom it. What Chris did was so abhorrent, it’s just beyond words.

Shannan would have gone on to do amazing things. Regardless, their marriage would have crumbled, but she would have gone on to be more successful. It’s who she was. She was a go getter. Even though I’m antisocial, I am in awe of her ability market herself and how charismatic she was.

Hey everyone. So, I am planning to go to Epic Universe and my mom is going to meet me there. She lives only about an hour from there. I live about 3,000 miles away. I am wanting to do a week, plenty of time to relax and swim and check out volcano bay and do city walk. Super Nintendo World is my bucket list item and I that's why I want to be there. Well, I am struggling with booking the package because I am torn on what hotel to do. Helios seems amazing, but the cost is insane compared to hotels nearby like Stella Nova and Terra Luna. I am considering booking Stella Nova, but I don't want the experience to be awful. My mom is mostly wanting to relax at the hotel and take a mobile scooter around the park. I need opinions from frequent goers on what to do. This vacation is very special and want to make the best of it. One part of me says to be smart and do Stella Nova, or go in debt and do Helios. Please give me some help and tell me what to do!