u/Lynnielynn13

I 24f connected with this guy 25m two weeks ago. At first we both were just looking for friends and long term connections. I am fairly new to the state I live in and he works a lot so he doesn't have much time to hang with his friends. Found out we live about 3 hours away from each other which is pretty cool, and we hit it off very quickly. Ever since we have connected we've talked everyday morning to night, and about three days in we exchanged photos and realized there was mutual attraction. After that, the dynamic shifted a bit from purely platonic to something more flirtatious. The issue is that things started moving much faster than I’m comfortable with.

After only a few days of talking, he was already discussing driving to see me and booking a hotel this week. While I was/am genuinely flattered by the effort, I’ve never met him in person and would have preferred more time getting to know each other through phone calls (we hadn't and never had a phone call), video calls, and deeper conversations before making plans to meet. In the past I have rushed and got caught up in attraction, etc.

Yellow flag #2 Im older now and ive grown into someone who likes to take my time when dating i genuinely enjoy the early stages of getting to know someone, building an emotional connection and figuring out compatibility. I’m a virgin. I didn't make that decision for religious reasons and I don’t judge people who are sexually active. I’ve simply always wanted to wait until I’m in a committed relationship (Not waiting for marriage) and feel fully comfortable. (to clarify this does not mean I do not consider the other person's time)

At one point, he introduced sexual energy into the conversation by mentioning that he was turned on by our flirting. Keep in mind the flirting was very innocent though I didn’t shame him for it, but I did explain that I wasn’t comfortable going too far into sexual conversations and reiterated my preferences

The problem is that even after those conversations, it felt like the sexual energy kept finding its way back into the conversation. We eventually talked about what we look for in relationships, and I explained that I enjoy dating slowly and getting to know someone before sex becomes part of the equation. he says he understands, He essentially said that casually dating without sex sounds more like friendship to him. I found myself second-guessing bc he seems like a good person and we've connected well. 

I eventually told him I just wanted to be friends because we had two different dating styles and I didn't want things to feel one sided one either party. He originally agreed then later said he couldn't because he'd always want more and would also want to have sex. We ended things yesterday and while I feel relieved because I felt some form of pressure. I am saddened because I felt like I had actually connected with someone. I also feel so small because what's so wrong with just getting to know me as a person before having access to my body? it hurts. I continue to get reduced to my looks. I just want to meet someone who'll actually love me for who I am. Not this Idealized, fantasied version of me. This is probably dumb to be sad over such a short connection but yeah. All I ask is to please be kind if you decide to comment. Thanks

Since I could remember I have taken care of my mom and my younger brothers. Since I was 9 years old I have taken care of my mom when she falls ill. I'm 24 now. She has lupus, fibromyalgia, liver failure, etc. All my life I have been on edge and hoping I dont find my mom non responsive. Its all I think about when I wake up when I go to sleep.

When I was a kid and she couldn't feed herself, get out of bed, clean or was in a deep depression. I cooked, cleaned and helped my brothers with school work (eventually we became homeschooled) Parented them. Her illness has worsened over the years and I feel like I am the only one who takes on the emotional baggage. Our family is dismissive of my mom’s complications. My brothers care for a second then they're off to doing whatever they were focused on before.

They barely clean after themselves. So when my mom is too sick to clean im the main one maintaining the house. I'm the one helping her bathe, cook, being her emotional support, etc. I have no life. I have no one in my corner. No time for myself even when I try. Its so hard not to resent them. Evey time I get an inch of happiness something happens, or I have to go back into caregiver mode. I just want a break. Just a little break. Enough of where I can feel like a normal 20 something. I've lost my childhood, teens and early 20s. College. Im so scared this is all my life will be. If you have any advice please feel free to share. And please do not recommend that I no longer be my mom’s caregiver.

I ask as you read this to please be kind.

I’m 24F and have been talking to a 25M that I met through a friendship subreddit. Found out we live about 3 hours away from each other which is pretty cool, and we hit it off very quickly. Ever since we have talked everyday morning to night, and about three days in we exchanged photos and realized there was mutual attraction. After that, the dynamic shifted a bit from purely platonic to something more flirtatious.

The issue is that things started moving much faster than I’m comfortable with. After only a few days of talking, he was already discussing driving to see me and booking a hotel this week. While I’m genuinely flattered by the effort, I’ve never met him in person and would have preferred more time getting to know each other through phone calls, video calls, and deeper conversations before making plans to meet.

Yellow flag #2 Im also someone who likes to take my time when dating i genuinely enjoy the early stages of getting to know someone, building an emotional connection and figuring out compatibility. I’m a virgin. I didn't make that decision for religious reasons and I don’t judge people who are sexually active. I’ve simply always wanted to wait until I’m in a committed relationship and feel fully comfortable.

At one point, he introduced sexual energy into the conversation by mentioning that he was turned on by our flirting. Keep in mind the flirting was very innocent. ofc I didn’t shame him for it, but I did explain that I wasn’t comfortable going too far into sexual conversations and reiterated my preferences

The problem is that even after those conversations, it felt like the sexual energy kept finding its way back into the conversation. We eventually talked about what we look for in relationships, and I explained that I enjoy dating slowly and getting to know someone before sex becomes part of the equation.

While he says he understands, He essentially said that casually dating without sex sounds more like friendship to him. The thing making me second-guess myself is that he seems like a good person and we've connected well. So idk if I’m overthinking this. I feel like this would be different if we had actually met in person. Everything has happened online, and we’ve only known each other for a week.

I think part of why I’m struggling is because I genuinely like him. If I didn’t, this would feel like a no-brainer. When I was younger, the chemistry, excitement, and intensity of a connection probably would have been enough for me. Now that I’m older, I’ve learned that I really appreciate slow-burn connections and taking my time.

So now I’m torn and I dont want to waste his time or mine.

So is it unreasonable to want more time, more calls, and a slower pace before meeting someone I’ve only known for a week? Does this sound like a simple difference in pacing, or does it sound like we’re fundamentally incompatible when it comes to dating and relationships. If you've made it this far I appreciate it. And sorry for the long post!

Hi, please read in full! looking to make friends close to me. I'm from the US. Currently living in TX. Still kind of new to TX haven't had the time to make friends in my city since I'm very busy most of the time so I thought I'd give this a try.

Hobbies: I enjoy reading, writing, gaming, going on walks, and making random playlists. I plan on adding more hobbies to my list like kickboxing, and may join art school or classes this summer/fall. Oh, and I'm learning how to play the electric guitar!

I'd love to meet people who share the same values and interests. (left leaning. I am not interested in connections with conservatives/republicans.) Like enjoying music, deep convos, occasionally chatting otp and one day meeting in person once we’re comfortable! Please be 21+ and no older than 35+. Im looking for clean conversations and building genuine connections. Hmu!

A little about me: I’m from the US. I love all kinds of music and making random playlists during my free time. I also enjoy doing makeup/hair, gaming, cooking/baking, visual design or binging TV shows lol. Always down for long/random convos, sharing TikToks, etc. I cant say i have a specific vibe, I usually just go with the flow tbh. Will say, I’m pretty liberal and would prefer meeting people with similar values. So no repubs plz or trump supporters lol. If you relate or if this seems interesting to you feel free to hmu and tell me a little about you :)