u/MOIRALOLITA

I bought a vest I thought looked nice but absolutely didn’t suit me from Gorman click and collect over the weekend and went to return it today to the same store, intending to get a refund. Tags etc still on. Silly me didn’t read their returns policy but the girl at the counter said there were no refunds for sale items, only an exchange for another item and it had to be exchanged there and then.

I’d say over 90% of Gorman items are on sale because they almost constantly have 20% off, new arrivals are small in number and usually only not on sale for a hot minute.

I found something else and ended up paying an extra $60, but I thought that returns policy isn’t very fair considering more or less everything they have is on sale almost as soon as it hits the racks. Am I being unreasonable?

The top I exchanged it for I didn’t even really love, but the vest I knew I’d never wear so I felt forced to make the exchange.

Due to my manager recently being made redundant, I’ve recently inherited his direct report. My manager had been with the org a long time and stopped caring / managing the team properly some time ago.

The team member I am now managing was a peer at the same level as me and upon his redundancy she has asked for a promotion / pay rise. This woman hit a ceiling in her role (senior graphic designer) 2 years ago and was told that there wasn’t any further she could go. At the time she was 8 years into the role and presumably stuck around for her long service leave which she just started receiving from July.

In the past two years a junior graphic designer joined the team which saw this lady mentoring the young girl and divvying up the graphic design tasks. My manager was ultimately the manager of the junior graphic designer, but as he’d checked out mentally he let this senior graphic designer take the reins and do the bulk of the overseeing while he approved her leave and had 1:1s with her semi regularly. Senior graphic designer never got a formal title or raise and was growing increasingly frustrated with this dynamic to which I’d recommended in the two years prior to our managers redundancy to take a less active role and enable him to manage more closely.

Now that I am managing her and having seen this unfold over two years, I was proactive and went to our Human Resources team and asked what was possible. They once again said that there was no possibility for this senior graphic designer role to advance any further than her current title and salary, the size of the team and the needs of the organisation being the main reasons stated, nothing to do with performance etc. I would be responsible for managing both her and the junior graphic designer going forward.

I had to have this conversation this week with the senior graphic designer and as you can imagine it went down pretty badly. Her anger about the lack of progression shifted away from blaming our former manager to blaming me. She refused to accept the information that I was telling her and is demanding a meeting with senior management where it’s likely they will tell her the same information.

The anger towards me is fine as I empathise with her frustration and ultimately know this isn’t my decision. As she can’t separate the message from the messenger at the moment, I’m happy to give her time and space as she processes the information but I’m now being treated with one word answers at work and other hostile behaviours and I don’t really know how I can best navigate it, she is currently refusing to speak to me until she’s had the meeting with upper management.

Realistically she either needs to move on if she wants further progression, or accept the role as it is.

As I establish a new working dynamic with this person, has anyone been in a similar position and could offer advice?

Due to my manager recently being made redundant, I’ve recently inherited his direct report. My manager had been with the org a long time and stopped caring / managing the team properly some time ago.

The team member I am now managing was a peer at the same level as me and upon his redundancy she has asked for a promotion / pay rise. This woman hit a ceiling in her role (senior graphic designer) 2 years ago and was told that there wasn’t any further she could go. At the time she was 8 years into the role and presumably stuck around for her long service leave which she just started receiving from July.

In the past two years a junior graphic designer joined the team which saw this lady mentoring the young girl and divvying up the graphic design tasks. My manager was ultimately the manager of the junior graphic designer, but as he’d checked out mentally he let this senior graphic designer take the reins and do the bulk of the overseeing while he approved her leave and had 1:1s with her semi regularly. Senior graphic designer never got a formal title or raise and was growing increasingly frustrated with this dynamic to which I’d recommended in the two years prior to our managers redundancy to take a less active role and enable him to manage more closely.

Now that I am managing her and having seen this unfold over two years, I was proactive and went to our Human Resources team and asked what was possible. They once again said that there was no possibility for this senior graphic designer role to advance any further than her current title and salary, the size of the team and the needs of the organisation being the main reasons stated, nothing to do with performance etc. I would be responsible for managing both her and the junior graphic designer going forward.

I had to have this conversation this week with the senior graphic designer and as you can imagine it went down pretty badly. Her anger about the lack of progression shifted away from blaming our former manager to blaming me. She refused to accept the information that I was telling her and is demanding a meeting with senior management where it’s likely they will tell her the same information.

The anger towards me is fine as I empathise with her frustration and ultimately know this isn’t my decision. As she can’t separate the message from the messenger at the moment, I’m happy to give her time and space as she processes the information but I’m now being treated with one word answers at work and other hostile behaviours and I don’t really know how I can best navigate it, she is currently refusing to speak to me until she’s had the meeting with upper management.

Realistically she either needs to move on if she wants further progression, or accept the role as it is.

As I establish a new working dynamic with this person, has anyone been in a similar position and could offer advice?

I’ve got a friendship I think has run its course. We’re in our late 30s and have been friends since our early 20s. She is a sweet girl at heart, but there is always something going on in her life and she portrays to everyone that she’s a hapless victim when really everything that has happened to her has been a direct result of her own poor choices. I’ve supported her through several failed relationships, health issues, a long legal battle of her seeking compensation for workplace bullying (of a job she just stayed at for far longer than she should have), and recently she has had a child with a man she dated for two weeks before she fell pregnant.

I can’t help but feel exhausted by it all and the expectation that I support her and some really questionable decisions unwaveringly.

My general preference is to remain drama free and lead a quiet life. So it meant that through the years I’ve had capacity to be there for her, but I had been having a tough time recently myself with expensive structural issues and bills relating to my apartment, and also a bit of a tough time at work. I learned long ago that relying on her in any significant way for support is not feasible because she always has too much going on at one time. Id made my peace with that long ago but it meant that these recent issues took up a lot of my head space and I have been unable to take on her load as well as my own, so I’d backed off a bit.

She noticed this and picked a fight with me because I didn’t invite her to a weekend away with a couple of our friends, saying that I never consider her or think of her in any capacity and that she’s really hurt and let down. She has a 5 month old baby and is a first time mother so I literally just didn’t think she’d be able to or want to come at this present stage of motherhood so I just didn’t think to invite her, truly nothing malicious. The vast majority of our friends have children (I do not) and I am very used to and accepting of people bunkering down in the early months and generally being unavailable as they get their head around parenthood. It also surprised me she would want to be away from her child so young for more than a few hours (this was two full days).

I empathise that she is probably experiencing a lot of emotions and anxiety at her life changing dramatically with the birth of her baby but realistically other friends with children seem to be coping ok, and she’s never not going through something.

She’s furious at me and because I know how to read her moods so well it was something I used to stress about. I have been walking on egg shells for years as I know what will upset her or set her off. But for the first time after this recent incident, I genuinely felt such a sense of relief that this friendship might actually be over and I could be free from this dynamic.

She’s currently not speaking to me because of the perceived betrayal I have shown to her and while I did apologise for not inviting her, she has really backed off and I think she is possibly testing me, expecting me to continue to try and contact her and win her trust back. It’s now been a few weeks. The relief was great for about a week but now it just feels like I’m being tested and set up to fail.

Do I just leave it and let her blow up at me again and finally confront it or do I check in? I am obviously concerned that she may be struggling with motherhood etc but I also can’t keep going with this dynamic the way it is and I don’t see her changing in the long term.

I bought a unit in greater western Sydney (PPOR) which I recently luckily sold. Made all the mistakes as a FHB - bought a new build (2019) with an elevator, underground carpark, dodgy developer etc. Many major defects found in 2023 and still not sorted at the time of sale.

Having got out just in time (the developer seems likely to go under), I’d love any advice from people for my next purchase. I’ve got a budget of $600k to $700k, it would have to be an apartment again. Any advice on what would be best to look for? Open to location anywhere in Sydney really.