u/Maddrumsticks

Okay so I (16M) and my friend (16M) have known each other for years! Since childhood. We were in a friend group with his older sister, his next door neighbors, and someone else in our small town.

Me and this friend were really close!! I loved talking to him endlessly and he never minded because he was so quiet and we would just spend so much time together and- it was amazing. So amazing.

That brings me to four years ago. I. Really don't like thinking about it!!! But it's all I can think about, something invades my mind and forces me to think about it all.

I watched it happen. I don't think he even realized what he had even done, haha! But that's okay! I helped him cover it up! See, with my help it looked like a suicide, not a murder!!! And I knew that Everything would be fine.

But he disappeared!!! For four years! And everything fell apart. The friend group drifted apart and I was left without friends. Well, someone from the friend group started bullying me, but it's okay!! I had to in order to protect my friend! To make sure nobody knew. And everything I suffered through was to protect him. Just.... My friend was supposed to be there for me to protect. He was supposed to be there to help me.

...He finally showed up, three days ago.

It was amazing! It was wonderful! He was here again! I missed him! Everything was good again, until I learned that he's moving. He's leaving me again!

And that's fine! I can deal with it! It's fine! Perfectly fine!

But. Grandma left me. Grandma said she would never leave me, and she left me. My friend. Is leaving.

I couldn't deal with the thought of everyone leaving me again!! I couldn't do it!

...He walked into my room first.

I needed to save him.

Save him from Something that was ruining him!

I know it was tearing him apart, just like mine was.

And I just. Needed to save him. Because Something was keeping him from leaving.

My garden shears are perfect to cut Something away with.

He fought back. It hurt.

His eye....

I... Went too far..... I'm sorry....

...I think I hear people outside my room.

That's.... Probably good.... We.... We need an ambulance...

But... I know I'm the AH, I hurt my friend! I'm sorry.

I don't watch movies so hopefully this is allowed

So! For context, I (nb, they/them) got trapped in a timeloop for what felt like blinding forever. At first, it was a blessing! I had a chance to try over and over again to work with my teammates to save the country from a powerful king. Blah blah, I never beat the king, blah blah blah, the timeloops go on and on and on until I can't blinding take it anymore!!!!!

So. I made a wish! A simple one: to get some help!

And next thing I know, I'm in a foreign body, one that looks like stars. And I see them. ...Me? My body. Right before the loops started. They (nb, he/they) were technically me, and I was the help.

So I helped!! I guided them, kept him going, discouraged them when they were making horrible decisions! I did everything a good guide should do!! And it was blinding TERRIBLE.

Stars, to think that I felt BAD for him when he completely snapped from the strain of the loops!!! To think I felt GUILTY for never telling them that I saw no way out! I was so convinced that he was trapped forever, like I was. That the only way out is to do something drastic.

But they're out. They're out of the loops! They escaped!!! And I'm overjoyed, really! They can live a good life! With the family I was supposed to have! With a future! With a way to heal!!!

How wonderful! How AMAZING. Because, all I can think about is how their friends- family- was supposed to be MINE! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO ESCAPE!!!

Stars, he doesn't deserve a happy ending if I never got one. I'm going to rip them to blinding shreds!! Neither of us will get a happy ending!!!! How delightful!

I know what I will do, the response does not matter to me, but I am curious.

Reddit, do tell! WIBTA If I go through with this?