u/MajesticDog1782

(I’ve copied this post from another sub to have more responses)

As the title suggests, I’m not sure how to use my time. I really want a 6 months - year off to do nothing because of burnout and other life stresses, but am not sure if this will be questioned by a firm?

I want to spend a few months just hiking around the country to feel good.

Is this really stupid? I haven’t had a single part time job and really struggle finding one that meets my needs (I am legally blind).

Sorry for the rant-ish post, just really lost atm

Thanks

As the title suggests, I’m not sure how to use my time. I really want a 6 months - year off to do nothing because of burnout and other life stresses, but am not sure if this will be questioned by a firm?

I want to spend a few months just hiking around the country to feel good.

Is this really stupid? I haven’t had a single part time job and really struggle finding one that meets my needs (I am legally blind).

Sorry for the rant-ish post, just really lost atm

Thanks

When my sister wants to play with me, I gently turn her down and reassure her that it’s not personal, I just need my alone time. She gets upset (she’s a kid) and storms off.

I obviously feel bad — but I don’t know if it’s guilt. I don’t think to myself “oh man she’s upset I should do something”. Instead, I recognise she’s hurt and she’s reasonable for that because she’s a kid. But equally, I’m also reasonable because I just have my own preferences and even need to have my own space.

Is this guilt?

I suddenly spoke about my own desires and my bucket list wishes. I didn’t elaborate much. But I feel sick at the thought that they now have this information. It was very private. I am struggling because I’m stuck between (1) telling them that I regret it and then they will want to prove or keep it in their mind longer, or (2) I don’t say anything and therapy stalls for a few sessions without them knowing why

I hate this. I don’t know what “this” is either.

I have a diagnosis of SPD.

I like to go out a lot. I really enjoy trying new things and going out. For example, I enjoyed going to the circus, a magic show, the aquarium, a football match etc. I don’t desire to try those things more than once though — I just enjoyed the experience and watching the crowd and the show.

It does bring joy in my life tho it’s great

That’s been my wish since I was 10. I’m still waiting.

I’m wondering how therapists would understand this because I know it probably sounds intense.

After therapy sessions, I go home and write really detailed summaries of what happened. Not just normal journaling like “I felt sad when my therapist said X.” It’s more like I’m writing a transcript/report of the session.

I’ll write what she asked, what I said, what I didn’t answer, what she got right, what I think she misunderstood, what I should probably explain better next time, etc.

I often write it in third person, like:

“The client did not respond.”
“The client looked away.”
“The client said…”

I know that sounds strange. It feels easier/more accurate to write it that way.

I think I started doing it because I’ve felt misunderstood by past therapists. When I felt like they got me wrong or jumped too far ahead, I usually just left therapy. With my current therapist, I didn’t want to leave, so writing everything down became my way of trying to correct things instead of disappearing.

But it’s become exhausting. Therapy doesn’t just end when I leave the room. I keep thinking about what was said, what I missed, whether she understood me correctly, whether I need to correct something next time. It makes therapy feel mentally active in my head all week.

I don’t know what the middle ground is at all

Generally, I don’t care to be understood by most people in my life. I’m fine with them having their own view and me knowing what’s true on the inside

But, I find myself basically battling with a psychologist trying to be as precise as possible when explaining myself and I’ve realised I’m sensitive when she attaches an emotional label to me that I don’t resonate. It’s become so exhausting I don’t know how to deal with it

I really don’t know where else to post this. I didn’t think it belonged to ASPD because I’m not globally exploitative and I didn’t exploit for thrill or entitlement

I have a weird split with this person. It’s important to mention that he’s a completely sealed off person. No one in my real life knows about him and same goes for him.

When we meet in person, I genuinely enjoy spending time with him. We have shared interests, we are both really content with quiet and not much talking etc — it’s great basically

But then when I’m dropped off home, that version completely disappeared from my mind. Because we met through Reddit, at home he’s only thought of as “the guy from Reddit”. I don’t message him back or care or feel anything towards him. He offered money to help out and then I just lied and asked for money which he gave because he thought it was going towards something, when I jsut wanted to keep it.

I didn’t feel any thrill when he gave the money. I didn’t chase or expect any money I didn’t get upset when he didn’t but it accumulated to £3000 that I stole from him over 2 years

I have paid him back. I was bluntly honest.

I just feel so so confused about myself how I let this happen it’s all very confusing because it’s strictly with this one person. I don’t get how I lost my morals it’s so disturbing

I was thinking about the idea of me marrying someone. Objevtively I know this person is the most compatible person for me. They respect my pace, are not overwhelming whatsoever, we enjoy long drives, can both be quiet and observe instead. I thought that maybe we could possibly (in my fantasy) find a way to live together since we tend to be open about boundaries — but that’s a big mayhe.

The real deal breaker was marriage. Marriage should be between two people. The idea of having to deal with their whole family and dealing with my whole family sounds completely intolerable to me. Just everything about it is unappealing. People showing up to your door because they feel entitled as they’re your in-laws, having to socially perform at their house, having to hold or attend parties, having to just hold back my distaste for their social expectations

It does suck. If neither of us had families maybe marriage actually could’ve been possible

Food for thought I guess

I liked private therapy because it was private. I really don’t like going to my GP about my mental health and rarely do because it feels incredibly mistuned. I don’t blame them of course but yeah I never go anywhere els to discuss my mental health

This was a few weeks ago. I didn’t expect to get upset. I’ve had 10 sessions with this therapist and haven’t cried until the 10th. I felt incredibly exposed. Sent a short email and never went back. I felt like I shared too much too quickly and I wasn’t ready to handle that.

Idk if this is a schizoid thing or something else. I’m generally not an anxious person, but sitting in front of a therapist puts me in such a different state. A more defended/ shut down state. I still speak and want to open up because it’s why I’m there, but something about therapy freaks me out.

Haven’t told her this. Maybe I should. Not yet though.

I wish I was a rock.