I'm on day 5 of 25 mg of lamotrigine. I have bpd and depression, and I take it with fluvoxamine (100 mg), but I feel drowsy, I'm sleeping too much, I have no energy for anything, I'm irritable, and my mood has worsened. I feel useless, I'm going to stop the medication today.
I have BPD. It was my first hospitalization; it wasn't a hospital but a psychiatric ward within a hospital. There were also drug addicts there, so it wasn't anything specialized. I couldn't do anything; they wouldn't let me read my book, claiming it was violent; I couldn't use my cell phone; I felt like I was in prison and just lay there. They gave me risperidone all the time, and I just slept. I slept so much that I hid the medication under my pillow to stay awake a little longer. I didn't like the idea of taking risperidone because it made me hungry, and I have eating disorders and like to restrict calories.
It's so hard to accept and be content with a mechanical, lonely life, without emotion or many resources. Unfortunately, I end up resorting to substance abuse, and sometimes I want to feel anything, absolutely any emotion that will pull me out of the boredom and mediocrity at 25 years old, having a lonely and miserable life.
((Page administrators, if you remove my post, please explain to me clearly what happened because I think you are being prejudiced against me in this group!))
Do you ever feel the urge to use a lot of dru"gs or do something really crazy to your hair when you feel rejected?
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