u/Major-Hunt-5141

i know this isnt the best place to say this and neither the best time but i cant gather courage to talk to anyone at this point. im just glad this is anonymous. before any of you say, oh you'll move on, its fine happens. please dont give me any of that, please.
i didnt crash out, but something really just died inside me after saying that goodbye. he was my sweet boy, my innocent sweet boy who went through so much but he was mine, he understood me. we turned really avoidant-anxious, him-me. but it wasnt because we were toxic, we were both depressed, due to things at home, and suffering outside. it was peaceful to be with each other whenever we were. he was my sweet boy. he will always be. and i know i cant love anyone the same way again, he was the first person i truly loved, the first person who ever truly loved me too. i wish we tried harder, i wish he became better instead of telling me that i deserved better. it kills me to realise i might never hear his voice again, or see his beautiful smile again. because everything feels incomplete between us. like it was meant to be more. and i have never felt this feeling of incompleteness with any other person. we wanted to marry each other.
man i gonna hate fridays now lol.

type of. hii guys, i hope everyones doing gooddd, writing this while im kinda depressed after 1.5 year of going nowhere, feeling like a failure every single day staying home while watching people move ahead. im from humanities and wanted to go for law ever since 9th grade, i took a drop since i was not getting decent nlus last year as an admit card error happened and i lost 30mins but still managed decent marks, this time due to AR wali cheez i got lesser marks than earlier. and 96 in AILET. gave NLAT- decent, SLAT- waitlisted for hyd and nagpur, jindal ka dena hai and christ ka miss kardiya, IPUcet missed, and gave MHCET which went good. im also giving cuet , and my options now are either secure a good MH college/good scholarship in jindal/ mumbai NMIMS if the result is good, or do normal B.A in DU (useless ik) but work hard 3 years to secure a study abroad scholarship and go out of india which i have always wanted to do. and staying here, if not doing law with a top nlu, seems like a dull path since i dont have a background. ik, going abroad isnt easy aswell and both are gonna be struggling paths now but this option seems more feasible since if i go to any other private college for law now, its gonna take lakhs which i can utilise in my abroad studies which i anyways wanted to do (LLM) this way , im gonna take a different path, go for law related programs abroad only. the environment isn’t getting any better in india and maybe it will only be right for me to go out at this point, i can’t stay with my family after that aswell. idk what to do tbh, need real good advice atp.

basically guys i’m gonna be giving NMIMS law exam (NLAT) tomorrow and i was only gonna give it as a backup exam while actually targetting MHCET, but honestly im hella tensed about MHCET as an OMS cand and didn’t focus much on NLAT or anything, now that i’m learning more about it, people prepare for this with full efforts for more than one month????? PLEASE someone help me with tips and orientate about it more i’m genuinely so clueless and scared. can i still get mumbai campus???? fuck man