Wife’s best friend major issue
Very long 20+ year saga here that I should know by now will never be resolved with my wife’s best friend from college. This woman, who truly is an ass, that my wife admits as well as many others, has never liked me or treated me well. She’s a type A, is snarky and unless you’re far up her ass (which I’m not) she looks to diminish you. I realize it’s her own deep insecurity. I don’t care about her psycho stuff, but the real problem is that I struggle with my wife continuing to socialize with her and expects me to do so too. I feel like she just condones this woman’s behavior towards me and expects me to just take it on the chin and be fine with that! Believe me I have tried over the years to let it go, but I’m only human and it’s not easy for me. My wife and I get into fights about it which truly is the only thing we ever fight about. We’ve been together for 24 years and this has been going on for that long. I have also tried having a one on one talk with this woman telling her that she/we don’t have to be best buddies, but I do expect us to be civil and kind. For years it’s the convo I expected my wife to have not me and there in lies the rub. Am I wrong to expect my wife to put me first here? It’s also hard because we have mutual friends that we all socialize on occasion with and who she treats much better. I’ve put up with this for so long and I’m so tired of it. I’ve sincerely tried to just let it go and every time I get to a place where I’m dealing with it, she does or says something unkind or snarky again to me that sets me off. Recently we were playing golf together with her wife. As I picked up my ball after a putt I looked up and saw her roll her eyes at her wife definitely directed at me, after I said ahhh no touch meaning the way I putted. She realized that I caught her eye roll and looked like the cat that swallowed the bird. I let it go, but a few days later my wife said oh I’m gonna go catch up with (insert her name here) and it struck a nerve and we started fighting over it again. I’m truly at my wits end. I’ve never been anything but nice to her. Certainly not super sweet kiss her ass nice, but nice. I don’t believe that my wife has stood up to her enough. She wants me to just let it go. Am I in the wrong here? Should I just suck this up and find a way to not let this bother me and if how do I do that?!?! Thanks in advance for any advice, thoughts and honesty etc.