u/Mammoth-Estate-2911

I started playing cello the summer after 6th grade, I loved it immediately, but I constantly wish I had started sooner. I tried to join my middle school orchestra as a 7th grader, and obviously wasn’t at a level where I could keep up with everyone else, so I had to leave.

I’m going into sophomore year next fall, and I want to try out for orchestra again. I am just stressed that I still won’t be good enough, or that the conductor won’t accept because I how I was when I first joined.

Ive been practicing everyday since I don’t have the school work I normally did. I have a private instructor, and I still have all summer to continue to improve.

I just feel so inadequate compared to all the other kids who have been playing much much longer than I have.

I started playing cello the summer after 6th grade, I loved it immediately, but I constantly wish I had started sooner. I tried to join my middle school orchestra as a 7th grader, and obviously wasn’t at a level where I could keep up with everyone else, so I had to leave.

I’m going into sophomore year next fall, and I want to try out for orchestra again. I am just stressed that I still won’t be good enough, or that the conductor won’t accept because I how I was when I first joined.

Ive been practicing everyday since I don’t have the school work I normally did. I have a private instructor, and I still have all summer to continue to improve.

I just feel so inadequate compared to all the other kids who have been playing much much longer than I have.

I've just been thinking recently about how most people let outside factors define how they view themselves—the labels they're given, the ideas algorithms keep feeding them, the expectations of other people. Eventually those things become part of their identity without them even realizing it.

everyone, especially teens like me, just doomscroll and doomscroll themselves into their own personal identity echo chambers without every doing the inner heavylifting of figuring that out themselves.

I know I've fallen into that myself, and I think it's held me back more than I realized.

Lately I've just felt lost. One thing that really gets to me is when there's a moment with my friends where it becomes obvious that they don't see me the way I see myself. It's not even that they're wrong or I'm right—it's just this strange feeling that the version of me that exists in their minds feels completely different from who I think I am, but even then, it is like I dont even KNOW who I am.

Everything online has just become worse and worse, not that there aren't still some good pockets here and there, but generally speaking it has all just become so saturated and overstimulating.

And then I start wondering: how much of who I think I am is actually me, and how much of it has been shaped by everything I've consumed online or by the roles other people have assigned to me? and how do I break out of that? Recently I have been taking a break from social media like instagram and tiktok, but now I just feel extra lonely and empty, but maybe that means I am making progress idk.

I've just been thinking about recently how most people allow outside factors to define how they view themselves - like the labels and ideas that internet algorithms have fed to them.

everyone, especially teens, just doomscrolls and doomscrolls themselves into their own personal identity echo chambers without every doing the inner heavylifting of figuring that out themselves.

now obviously its normal to use SOME amount of outside influence, but it has become veryyy easy to entirely dependent. I seriously have fell victim to this myself, and I think it has really been holding me back.

I genuinely don't know where to go. I just feel super lost. And sometimes I get so frustrated with my friends because in the instances where the disconnect between us becomes so clear, that I see that they don't see me like i see MYSELF. But the worst part is that I can't even really blame them, because my view on myself changes every week. Is this just a normal teen thing? does it get better? is this just the raging hormones talking?