u/ManicCornucopia

I'm a Michigancel for the month and I've been thrown for a loop at the dearth of worthwhile sexual prospects. Get me back to Brooklyn.

In the midst of a coast-to-coast move and have been privileged enough to take a month in my midwestern hometown in between cities.

In the past, I've been unemployed for swathes of times inordinate to pleasure, but I have to say that in its first weeks, being a NEET is nonpareil.

Yesterday, I saw five films at my multiplex for $5 apiece. Today, I finished reading Karl Ove Knausgård's latest novel at a dive bar while sipping on craft beer and unadulterated vodka. I finished a short story and edited the first 40k words of what I hope'll be my debut novel. Life is good; I'll have to remember this in the throes of my next vocational disturbance.

Like not even perfomatively when other dudes are in there. This is a safe space, gay boys...

Have my iPad out and tearing through levels of this absolutely inane match-three game in between driving and reading. Just need a glass of inexpensive white wine with ice cubes and a true crime show on in the background til I've reached full middle-aged divorcée form.

What's your stance on travel hookups, 🚬s? Currently driving from Los Angeles to the East Coast and I was in Witchita, KS last night. Went to a bar for a little to see if I could find someone to sodomize to no avail; unsurprisingly, the crowd was flagrantly and almost offensively heterosexual.

After the bar closed, I found someone on Grindr who came to my hotel room. Sex was great. He left shortly after we exchanged Instagrams, perfunctorily ofc.

Though I endured some censure apropos the grandiloquence that suffused my last post about waiting tables—something I come by naturally, hand to God—something occurred last night during one of my tours of duty that demanded a follow-up post.

One of the facets of my restaurant’s seating options I deem most abhorrent is the fact that we have large round tables with lazy Susans in the middle that can accommodate up to twelve people. My primary rationale for this distaste lies in the fact that the parties typically arrive disjointedly and the entirety of the service for that table becomes rocky. Seldom are the tables capable of organization; they talk over each other with fervor, fail to consolidate their requests, what have you. Additionally, there is oftentimes a general laziness plaguing guests that precludes them from handing me their plates and forces me to practically hump their shoulder when leaning over them due to the height difference.

However, I’m not here to air those grievances today. My twelve-top tonight arrived mostly in conjunction. They were polite, ordered a round drinks, and informed me they were ready to order and that a single person would do it. I automatically took to them because it’s much easier to delegate a spokesperson for the table than it is to have a bunch of people cacophonously shout orders at me in a circle.

When I come over to take the order, the customer had it on their phone screen. In my head, I’m assuming they just wrote it down on the notes app, but it looks a bit over-organized for that. On a second glance (I try to make as much eye contact with them as possible, as a rule) I notice the top of the screen reads "ChatGPT." It’s separated the order into appetizers, entrees, etc. There’s even a portion that tells her, "Make sure to tell your server…" in wording that I now recognize she recited ad nauseam to me.

BRUH. You’re dealing with twelve people and a straightforward menu. Why do you need Chat to assist you? That’s the whole reason I’m waiting on you oafs! What makes this doubly laughable is that she told Chat that someone at the table has a peanut allergy and it suggested Kung Pao Chicken, a dish that famously comes with peanuts. I had to let her know this, though this is a question she could’ve veritably asked me herself. I shaved down the order signficantly as Chat would’ve sent them home with hordes of leftovers, but she boasted rather proudly to me her employment of the technology as if I were going to adulate her for her "tech-savvy." I wanted to take the water away from their table right then and there.

Final part of the punchline: she’s pregnant. Just imagine how many times she’s going to consult ChatGPT for parenting advice. I don’t know if I’m more concerned for the basic safety stuff or when it comes to the point that her child start to misbehave or mouth off to her. Inshallah that child is not held back more than once.

Alcohol withdrawal sleeplessness fucking blows. I'm not trying to quit by any means, but after three straight bender days/nights wherein I threw back between ten and fifteen drinks apiece, taking the night off from heavy use (one shot) is throwing my entire sleep schedule askew. I typically shock my central nervous system with 500+ mg of caffeine by day and the bibulous behavior regards it enough to put me down.

I don't like taking additional drugs to conk out but this PMO. 4:59 AM and I'd have liked to have had a productive morning replete with chores and errands before tonight's toping ensues.

Started eight games of NYT Crossplay with randoms and beat the computer six times, been reading, been lying in silence and listened to an album. Good morning to everyone beginning their days. Recommend an album if you've made it this far or add my NYT Crossplay: W439-NRKV-X7JX.

I must have misophonia to a certain degree because it causes me to crawl in my skin and physically recoil as if I'm a canine hearing something > 80 dB. Some of the most unequivocally asocial, antisocial and outright iniquitous behavior that's certainly devolved post-pandemic. Every time I call a stranger out on it at a bar or on public transit, they immediately get combative as if the noise is not totally discernible from human chitchat and as if I should have to be subjected to hearing their Instagram/Tiktok/YouTube slop, audiobooks or phone conversation. I'm so tired of having to share the polis with a bunch of solipsistic regards zombified by their devices. I think the only solution would be to go back to the technology of the first generation iPod Touch, which didn't have external speakers.

To preface this post, I'm a mid-to-late-twenties gay male living in a major metropolis. That being said, here goes:

Has anyone else been feeling a decreased libido around this time of year? I'm fairly sexually active albeit perfectly content with using my manus to get myself off, but I've been feeling newfound sovereignty in solo orgasms; it's almost as if the onanism gives rise to a greater dopamine release. I've engaged in sodomy a few times this year to disparate results; the most recent of which was not fructive to me despite assuming my typical topping role.

I've had a rather lascivious past (which isn't to say it won't reemerge at the drop of a hat) but it feels nice to abstain. It's worth something to notice some of this appears to be a concomitant of the season I'm living in. When summertime is undeniable, I believe my whorish sodomite ways will present themselves insouciantly.

Anyway, feel free to lambaste, castigate, opine, commiserate, et alia... I just want to get a read on everyone's sex drives...mine feels as though it's at a standstill but my appendage is growing weary of its palmar punishments.