From the Abyss to Peace - a message of hope and resilience
Greetings everyone!
There is nothing that I could write here that would be of any news to you. But I thought that sharing my story might help anyone, at least one person would already be such a blessing I'm sure.
Due to various complicated reasons, I began using kratom in early February of this year (after abusing more potent opioïd meds). As with every addiction, everything was going quite fine... As long as I kept using.
But using is a prison. I realized I was addicted in early April, when I discovered I started experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms on the occasions I didn't use (or used too late). This was a real punch to the gut. I never thought I'd get addicted. Yet I was. One day, I would need to stop, but this day seemed to never come. Truth is, I was afraid of stopping.
Each and every day, I would consume 20 to 40gpd of kratom powder. The withdrawals were too terryfing to stop.
Then came hope. Then came determination. I stopped cold turkey this wednesday 1st of July 2026 at 7am. The first two days were hell, not gonna lie. Severe RLS, insomnia, complete lack of appetite, stomach cramps, a constant state of depression, unending anxiety attacks... Every time I tried to sleep (using 100mg of Trazodone and a bit of weed), I would get woken up every 30mins due to my anxiety spiking.
I knew it was bound to calm down soon enough, but each hour felt like days. I didn't know if I was strong enough to withstand that for days, weeks... Maybe months! 48hrs in and I was already exhausted and demotivated.
So I caved. My addiction was a secret to most of my relatives. I told them all the truth. They were extremely supportive, to my absolute relief. On the dawn of the third day, they brought me to the hospital where a psychiatrist saw me and prescribed me more appropriated meds to combat the anxiety and the insomnia (Lorazepam 1mg).
This has been night and day! Not keeping my addiction a secret anymore and relying on the help of medicine has transformed this very trying challenge to something I know I can overcome. Here I am, Day 5, and the symptoms are already getting less and less noticeable.
I consider myself extremely lucky to have been this much supported, and I know some do not have that privilege. But if you have the occasion to reach out to someone, please do it. It's worth it. Your loved ones love you and would do anything to help you traverse these hard times. Medicine can help, as long as you follow the doctor's instructions! You're not alone, and you're not defenseless!
And addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. It can happen to anyone - is has happened to anyone. It is not a sign of weakness, only a call for help. On the contrary, you are extremely brave to have the will to fight this horrendous addiction.
Quitting this drug sucks so much. But you are more than just this addiction. You are a human, a bloody resilient one. And even if you feel completely alone, know that I will always pray for you - for your safety, for your recovery. Because you will make it.