I had Opae Ula I got a few weeks ago in a jar, and just moved them to a 2.5 gallon tank. Any recommendations of specific places to source lava rock? Chaeto? Anything else I might be missing that the shrimp might like?
This will probably be long, so thanks to anybody who gets through it.
My husband (37M) and I (37F) have been together for 18 years (no kids) and our sex life has improved so much in the last two years with a lot of open communication and the understanding needs/k¡nks, however we have discussed the appeal of a dom/sub relationship shift and I'm not sure how to get started in it for real and what I (the prospective sub) need to bring or expect and how to flesh this all out.
I know the appeal for me. I have been in charge of all the important things in our relationship for its entirety, and all the day to day things only because I need somebody to be in charge and if nobody does then I have to step in. I was just talking about this in a work-related way the other day and it made me realize this about life in general even though it's been a conversation we have had about our lives with each other for a while. I *hate* being the decision maker but do it if somebody else won't. It's also important to me to feel safe and taken care of, and having somebody make at least some of the decisions and steer the ship is something I feel like I need to feel that way.
Realistically, I also know that maybe he doesn't have it in him to make all the decisions in our relationship, but I would like to be able to have him take something I do right now that he can take from me entirely and see how it works out and how we feel about it while adding in more as we both see fit or comfortable with.
It feels like he only understands how to do this in the bedroom and I need it outside of the bedroom to feel safe with it in a sexual context if that makes sense? I enjoy it in a sexual context, but I don't like the feeling of putting it on and taking it off.
The big questions I guess are: How did or would you address your needs in this way with a long term partner? What daily life things would be a good start to use in this kind of dynamic while exploring it as a potential full-time thing? I mean, even something as simple as deciding meals, a daily activity I should do, money management, etc. What kind of consequences for not doing those things or pushing back unnecessarily would make sense for a relationship like this? Any resources on what a legitimate dom/sub relationship looks like that isn't abusive toward one or the other?
Left to right are:
Snafu aka Prairie Fauna Situation Normal At Duality (13 months)
Mando aka Lighthouse This Is The Way Of Duality SH WDX (6 years)
Yolo aka Duality Memento Mori (22 months)
This last fall Snafu was just a wee baby and stayed home to grow up, but will be coming to hunt with us and learn about field trial stuff this year.
Mando and Yolo both had foxtails that have me worried about hunting pheasants in MN again. Yolo was behaving totally normally until he suddenly whined when he jumped or extended his right hip. Assuming he overdid it I rested him and gave him Carprofen. 12 hours later his abdomen was tight and he was more painful so I took him to the emergency vet. We did x-rays, bloodwork and urine and started antibiotics under the impression he had a really painful UTI. Under 24 hours later I was back because he was somehow more painful, so he was hospitalized with a constant infusion of medication for pain and a CT scan. His first CT showed he had an abscess in his iliopsoas muscle (a spinal support and hip flexor muscle) and left lung that required three CTs and 10 weeks of antibiotics to resolve, with a total around $18,000
Mando's was significantly more extensive. He had been acting totally normal, until he went outside for a last potty break before bed and when he came in he looked stressed and was panting. Initially I thought he was a just excited, but when I let him he felt warm. This was 2/8/26 around 930pm. I took his temp and he had a fever, so I brought him to the emergency vet. What happened next is what my nightmares are made of. His chest was more infection than lung on x-ray. They stabilized him overnight in oxygen, and the next morning he had a CT and went directly into a surgery where they cut straight down the center of his ribcage, opened him up, removed two lung lobes and some other tissue, flushed the chest and closed him back up. While in recovery, he stopped breathing and they had to re-intubate and breathe for him for over an hour before he started to breathe on his own. With complications, collapsed lungs, a second surgery three weeks later, antibiotic resistant infection, and all the other challenges he faced we were not out of the woods until the beginning of April with a bill over $85,000. There's a good chance hunting is not something his lungs will be capable of again.
My dogs all have insurance which is the only reason this was possible, but I am concerned about the potential that something happens that there isn't an amount of money that will fix it. After Mando's first surgery I was convinced he was not going to make it. How do you protect your dogs while hunting to minimize the risk of foxtails?
I had a robotic assisted laparoscopic total hysterectomy with salpingectomy due to fibroids, and painful heavy periods with endometriosis resection that was not diagnosed until they got in there and visualized it, but my obgyn suspected due to pain during my transvaginal ultrasound and during/after sex. Kept my ovaries because sudden menopause at 37 did not sound like my jam.
I took one oxy before I left the hospital, and have taken random doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol as needed. The pain is not significant by any means, and I haven't taken anything today. I am taking miralax daily because I don't want to have any straining to have a bowel movement and have not had any issues in that regard as well. I'm mostly just exhausted with activity, and taking lots of naps.
So far, I'm really pleased with everything and happy to have done it.