u/MardyFish

Hi all

I'm (35M) around 2.5 years out from separating with my ex-wife (33F) and the divorce was finalised around 6 months ago. We were together around 8 years and married for just over 1. Emotional affair, questioning sexuality and seeing no future with a man (ie me) on her end (long story short and I'm sure many of you can relate with similar experiences) led to where I find myself now.

It's been a tough road so far but I am starting to feel like I am getting closer to more peace and being generally ok. There are still days where the grief can still come but it's so much less than it was a year or two ago when I was in the crisis stage. I often just simply miss having my best friend with me and the life I had. I was happy. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for much of this time and haven't worked for the past 2 years. Due to start a new job soon so I can see how far I've come and still have some way to go I'm sure. Things do get easier but I'm accepting that it's likely to always be there now to some degree.

I am still struggling with how best to get through the next parts now.

Starting life again in mid 30s feels so odd. I have often felt like the traditional life path of career, marriage, kids hasn't really fit me and the past few years has been a lot of thinking about what I really want from life. So in some ways this huge event has pushed me onto a path that maybe suits me better. There have been some silver linings.

I often get this feeling that I am betraying the old version of me, the one who promised to spend their life with someone, who made those promises to that person and in front of all my family and friends. This part of actually getting divorced was difficult for me, that I had to be a person that had no choice but to break those promises, even though it was the right thing to do for myself in the circumstances. This also seems to apply anytime I think about a potential partner that I may or may not find in the future.

Just wanted to hear from people maybe even further on that have found things that really helped them to move towards their new and different lives? I can sometimes get wary of getting stuck at this point in the journey for too long.

While working on my mental health I have also tried to consciously figure out the things I truly enjoy and who I am which has helped me reconnect with myself after all of this which I would say to do for anyone who is early on in their own situation.

Thank you!

Hi all

I'm (35M) around 2.5 years out from separating with my ex-wife (33F) and the divorce was finalised around 6 months ago. We were together around 8 years and married for just over 1. Emotional affair, questioning sexuality and seeing no future with a man (ie me) on her end (long story short and I'm sure many of you can relate with similar experiences) led to where I find myself now.

It's been a tough road so far but I am starting to feel like I am getting closer to more peace and being generally ok. There are still days where the grief can still come but it's so much less than it was a year or two ago when I was in the crisis stage. I often just simply miss having my best friend with me and the life I had. I was happy. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for much of this time and haven't worked for the past 2 years. Due to start a new job soon so I can see how far I've come and still have some way to go I'm sure. Things do get easier but I'm accepting that it's likely to always be there now to some degree.

I am still struggling with how best to get through the next parts now.

Starting life again in mid 30s feels so odd. I have often felt like the traditional life path of career, marriage, kids hasn't really fit me and the past few years has been a lot of thinking about what I really want from life. So in some ways this huge event has pushed me onto a path that maybe suits me better. There have been some silver linings.

I often get this feeling that I am betraying the old version of me, the one who promised to spend their life with someone, who made those promises to that person and in front of all my family and friends. This part of actually getting divorced was difficult for me, that I had to be a person that had no choice but to break those promises, even though it was the right thing to do for myself in the circumstances. This also seems to apply anytime I think about a potential partner that I may or may not find in the future.

Just wanted to hear from people maybe even further on that have found things that really helped them to move towards their new and different lives? I can sometimes get wary of getting stuck at this point in the journey for too long.

While working on my mental health I have also tried to consciously figure out the things I truly enjoy and who I am which has helped me reconnect with myself after all of this which I would say to do for anyone who is early on in their own situation.

Thank you!