u/Mareen4

I 29 (F) traveled for a two-week visit with my boyfriend 27(M). He lives with his family and has a very small room and a small bed. Initially, I suggested staying only a few days or booking a place together because I knew the living situation. He refused because he is currently unemployed and wants to save money. He got offended when I suggested a shorter stay, asking me to stay the whole time, so I agreed.

I feel uncomfortable staying here as his room and apartment is super small and I can't even communicate with his parents because we speak entirely different languages, so I end up just staying in his room. On my very first morning here, he left the house to work on his thesis. He later texted me surprised that I hadn't eaten and said, "You should have asked my brother to show you where the food is." I had not even met his brother before and it's awkward to knock on a stranger's bedroom door on day one to ask for food! Besides this, my bf may just wake up and go kitchen eat without asking me and expects me to somehow organize my food at his parents' house where I completely don’t feel comfortable going to open the fridge and eat. Where I come from, we treat guests completely differently, so I’m new to this “serve yourself from the fridge” situation.

He also puts zero effort or motivation into planning anything fun. Yesterday, for example, around 12:20 PM, he told me he was going to get coffee (I don't drink coffee). He ended up leaving me alone in his room for almost 5 hours, not returning until 5:00 PM. When he came back, he complained that I am "always on my phone." I told him, yeah, because I'm bored and don't know what else to do when he just leaves me. When I suggested we do something, he just asked, "What do you want to do?" He didn't have a single plan or option ready and expected me to come up with ideas in his city. We eventually decided on a beach picnic. But when we finally got there, he mentioned that it wasn't his favorite beach as it was dirty, no locals go there, and it’s always crowded. When I asked why we even came to this beach then, he said it was because by the time we actually left the house and did the grocery shopping for the picnic, this was the only option close enough the rest were too far. I was thinking, then why didn't you plan for us to leave earlier, since we were both just sitting around bored all day?! He then tried to smooth it over by saying, "The place doesn't matter, the company does." Well ok, but I can clearly see he is putting absolutely no effort into making this a good trip. I don't want to be greedy or ungrateful, but this is a miserable holiday.

Seeing how he handles this trip has been a massive eye-opener. I realized I don't see a future with him and I plan to break up with him after the trip is over, because I don't want to cause an explosive fight right now while I'm here. However, I cannot spend another week starving and walking on eggshells in this house, even if I traveled all this way for him. My cousin happens to live in this exact city and would love to host me. I only avoided staying with her initially because I knew he would get upset and pout that I "chose" her over him.

How do I approach this conversation? How do I tell a highly sensitive guy who gets easily offended that I am packing my bags for my cousin's house, without completely ruining the remaining days of the trip?

I 29(F) traveled to meet my long-distance boyfriend 27 (M). He currently lives with his family in a apartment where he has a very small room and a small bed. Initially, I suggested staying for just a few days because I knew the living situation. I didn't want to be a burden to his parents, and honestly, staying at his family's place feels uncomfortable for me. I suggested booking a place together for the 2 weeks, but he said no because he isn't working right now and wants to save money. When I mentioned staying a shorter time, he got offended and said we’ve never stayed together for more than a week, begging me to stay the whole time. So, I agreed. The problem is, I am incredibly uncomfortable. For example, the other day I woke up and he had already eaten. He asked if I wanted to eat, I said yes, but he didn't offer anything or suggest what I could have. It’s not my house, so I don't feel comfortable just opening his parents' fridge and cooking something. I feel so awkward that I’m even hesitant to say, "Hey, I'm going out to grab food." My cousin happens to live in this exact same city. I am seriously thinking about going to stay at her place so I can have some freedom and comfort, and we can still meet up every day. However, I know if I tell him this, he is going to get offended and upset. AITA if I tell him I'm uncomfortable and want to stay somewhere else? How do I even bring this up without ruining the trip?