u/Maskhur

Hi everyone,

As you can see from the title, I have made a girl I've talked to for 4 months uncomfortable, unsafe, and terrified. She recently told me that she wanted to just be friends and for me to not pursue her anymore as the memorial monday she probably encounter a text from her ex or someone relating to her ex of 4 years. So she told me she want to be alone and find herself, I lost myself as everything was happening so fast and I couldnt contain myself and I lost my cool. I know i should of been more controlled of my emotions, I just thought we had something going and realized that I end up making everything end. As the week progress I went on a stage of sadness, anger, and i just decided to go full obsessive and start spam texting her.

Before I started to spam text her, I encounter her with her best friend and a guy friend i never seen before. So my mind just went spiral, lost my cool as it was a day I was just so angry, not even sad. Made me so mad i went to the gym to work out my anger and realized all that just made me angrier. (never workout when angry, meditate first) so my spam text just turned into terror so it scared her so she told me to stop as she thought we already made peace with the situation. We did, but my feelings for her was not at peace. It could not be at peace because I was still trying to figure out what to do with these linger feelings for her as I am still processing how to be her friend.

After all that her best friend text me and said "You are a grown ass man obsess over someone that doesn't even want you. And spam texting her just so you can feel at peace like hell. She is such as sweet girl she said a you may still have a good heart and you showing up to her work place and made her uncomfortable again.. you can change this if you simply just leave her alone."

I told the best friend that I was not there for her, I was there to get things as it's the only place I can get my stuff. I am sorry that I made her uncomfortable, it was not intended, i didnt know she was working that morning, I thought her other family members will be there instead. I apologize nonstop.. and I told her I am happy that she has someone like the best friend to protect her from a guy like me. I am the worst of the worst who couldnt contain himself, I hate myself everyday and night. Even revisiting this make me so angry at myself, my actions, my words.

I will never get to see her smile anymore, get to say hi to her anymore, or even get a conversation with her and that is what the consequences is for as I deserve this.

But it teared me up when she said i may still have a good heart... i cried so hard, so much, nonstop, I didn't even know what to do with myself. She is too kind, that it made me realize that i lost someone i called special.

I will forever live in regrets, I am in the process in moving on and finding peace. Not hoping to get her back but if we find each other on the same road again, I will do things differently because I saw her when she was at her low, she deserve to be love by those who she surround herself with. Hope her well and happiness, I am glad to have met someone who at least let me in her little world.

Thank you for listening to my foolish story.... I am always ready to listen to feedbacks and criticisms to my foolishness.

Hi everyone,

As you can see from the title, I have made a girl I've talked to for 4 months uncomfortable, unsafe, and terrified. She recently told me that she wanted to just be friends and for me to not pursue her anymore as the memorial monday she probably encounter a text from her ex or someone relating to her ex of 4 years. So she told me she want to be alone and find herself, I lost myself as everything was happening so fast and I couldnt contain myself and I lost my cool. I know i should of been more controlled of my emotions, I just thought we had something going and realized that I end up making everything end. As the week progress I went on a stage of sadness, anger, and i just decided to go full obsessive and start spam texting her.

Before I started to spam text her, I encounter her with her best friend and a guy friend i never seen before. So my mind just went spiral, lost my cool as it was a day I was just so angry, not even sad. Made me so mad i went to the gym to work out my anger and realized all that just made me angrier. (never workout when angry, meditate first) so my spam text just turned into terror so it scared her so she told me to stop as she thought we already made peace with the situation. We did, but my feelings for her was not at peace. It could not be at peace because I was still trying to figure out what to do with these linger feelings for her as I am still processing how to be her friend.

After all that her best friend text me and said "You are a grown ass man obsess over someone that doesn't even want you. And spam texting her just so you can feel at peace like hell. She is such as sweet girl she said a you may still have a good heart and you showing up to her work place and made her uncomfortable again.. you can change this if you simply just leave her alone."

I told the best friend that I was not there for her, I was there to get things as it's the only place I can get my stuff. I am sorry that I made her uncomfortable, it was not intended, i didnt know she was working that morning, I thought her other family members will be there instead. I apologize nonstop.. and I told her I am happy that she has someone like the best friend to protect her from a guy like me. I am the worst of the worst who couldnt contain himself, I hate myself everyday and night. Even revisiting this make me so angry at myself, my actions, my words.

I will never get to see her smile anymore, get to say hi to her anymore, or even get a conversation with her and that is what the consequences is for as I deserve this.

But it teared me up when she said i may still have a good heart... i cried so hard, so much, nonstop, I didn't even know what to do with myself. She is too kind, that it made me realize that i lost someone i called special.

I will forever live in regrets, I am in the process in moving on and finding peace. Not hoping to get her back but if we find each other on the same road again, I will do things differently because I saw her when she was at her low, she deserve to be love by those who she surround herself with. Hope her well and happiness, I am glad to have met someone who at least let me in her little world.

Thank you for listening to my foolish story.... I am always ready to listen to feedbacks and criticisms to my foolishness.