Should I meet them?
I'm Black and white biracial, adopted by a white family, although that has little to do with the problem because it is in regard to the white side of my genes. Recently I learned that my biological grandmother is dying and she, as well as my biological mother, wants to meet me. I'm nervous to meet them because I'm scared that I won't like them but they'd want to maintain a relationship with me.
I've always been nervous about meeting new people in general, but it feels even bigger since I feel like this wouldn't just be a one-off thing, but the start to a whole new relationship I'd have to maintain. My mom also says that my biological mother has some type of intellectual disability, which I don't have, so I feel like that would simultaneously make it harder for me to connect with her, and make it so I feel obligated to communicate with her. Meeting these people, I am fairly certain, will not be a one time event. In my experience, the first time someone asks you to do something is always the first time, because there will definitely be a second. And a third. And so on.
On the other hand, my mom says that my biological family is confused why I don't want a relationship with them, which makes me feel bad. I don't want to hurt their feelings. And my biological grandmother is DYING! Even though I've never met these people, I still want them to be happy, but I don't know how to make both parties happy. I'm really scared that I won't like these people but I'll feel obligated to maintain a relationship, even though I don't really have room for it.