r/TransracialAdoptees

My brother makes comments like “well the white population is going down” and “he’s tired of hearing how white men are responsible for everything that’s wrong in this country.” I really struggle with finding things that I like about him and loathe when he visits he makes things miserable. When he was still living here he would go on racist tirades and has big emotional outbursts when people talk shit about Trump. He really makes visits unbearable and I find it really hard to remember what I like about because the blatant racism and bigotry greatly out shadows the rest.

Grown ass Korean adoptee adult here. My APs, particularly my mom, still infantilizes me (and my husband) and while it’s not constant, when it does happen it’s really annoying. Husband agrees too. She still refers to us as “kids” when talking about us to others and gives off a helicopter parent vibe in certain situations, which brings back unpleasant childhood memories for me. I don’t know if this is because people seem to view us adoptees through a different lens(?), like we’re eternally stuck as children in people’s minds no matter what age we are. I feel like I probably have it 3x worse because I’m female, only child, and an adoptee. Anyone else experience this or are my parents just fucking weird?

I'm Black and white biracial, adopted by a white family, although that has little to do with the problem because it is in regard to the white side of my genes. Recently I learned that my biological grandmother is dying and she, as well as my biological mother, wants to meet me. I'm nervous to meet them because I'm scared that I won't like them but they'd want to maintain a relationship with me.

I've always been nervous about meeting new people in general, but it feels even bigger since I feel like this wouldn't just be a one-off thing, but the start to a whole new relationship I'd have to maintain. My mom also says that my biological mother has some type of intellectual disability, which I don't have, so I feel like that would simultaneously make it harder for me to connect with her, and make it so I feel obligated to communicate with her. Meeting these people, I am fairly certain, will not be a one time event. In my experience, the first time someone asks you to do something is always the first time, because there will definitely be a second. And a third. And so on.

On the other hand, my mom says that my biological family is confused why I don't want a relationship with them, which makes me feel bad. I don't want to hurt their feelings. And my biological grandmother is DYING! Even though I've never met these people, I still want them to be happy, but I don't know how to make both parties happy. I'm really scared that I won't like these people but I'll feel obligated to maintain a relationship, even though I don't really have room for it.

I’m biracial adopted by white parents. I married a white man and all my friends except one are white. I live in an extremely white rural town in Massachusetts and I have never felt more isolated than I have recently. I am so sick of being surrounded by white people but it feels weird to seek out black people to make friends. I don’t know what to do to find some connection with people who look like me but it’s making me angry that I live in these entirely white spaces and it’s ALWAYS on my mind.

Do you like the food that is native to your biological culture? Did your adoptive parents try to expose you to it? I was adopted from foster care as a toddler. I am of Mexican descent, and my foster parents were Mexican descent. The papers that my adoptive parents received said that I loved Spanish rice. So, they bought canned Spanish rice from Van de Camp and I hated it. They thought my foster parents lied about what I liked. I grew up eating a beans and cornbread made by a white woman of German descent with no flavor. I hated beans. My white adoptive parents hated spicy and the food was bland.

I married a Mexican woman, and I love charro beans and Jalapeno cornbread. Homemade Spanish rice is awesome and not like in a can and I love it. My adoptive parents did not understand.

My wife and I have a baby boy, Oliver. We are both white. In a few years time, once we see how Oliver is doing developmentally, we plan to adopt another child. We are open to adopting outside of our race and cultures, however, my wife wants to bestow a cultural name upon said child-- We are white, again.

I wonder, is it appropriative to bestow a cultural name upon a child that we don't belong to the same culture to?

I.e., If we adopted an African child, and gave them a name that's African instead of American (as we are both American natives), or something else similar, if it would be appropriative of said culture.

Thoughts?

I'm white and was adopted when I was a toddler by my family who is Korean. I love my family, but I've always felt a little left out, especially by our extended family. We have family who live in Korea and they've come to visit us in the United States and we've gone to visit them, but they've always made weird comments about me being white. My immediate family I don't feel this at all with, they treat me as their own, but other people I've met in life seem to think it's weird for some reason. They have a different reaction to knowing I'm white and adopted by an Asian family than knowing an Asian is being adopted by a white family. I've also heard of a lot of transracial adoptions, but I've never heard much about Asians adopting white people, I have a few Asian friends who were adopted by white families, it's usually the other way around, I've never met anyone who was white and adopted by another culture, so I was just wondering if anyone here is.

I am an adopted daughter in a transracial family and have had the struggle with my parents learning to do my curly hair. I am now a college student and am in the process of creating an app to help other parents with this struggle. If this is applicable to you I would love any and all advice.

How much, if anything, would you pay for an app with AI that helps you learn about and care for your natural hair?

Would you like this to be a teaching only app with modules without AI or is AI something that you find helpful.

Also would integrating AI in this app be something you are willing to pay for? If so how much.
I want to know if this would be useful for you all and what you would be looking for in this app if anything. All ideas are welcome. Thank you so much! Just trying to help out our community.