u/Maximum-Dimension-57

Today is just one of those days I see no hope, no exit to anything I'm going through and I'm honestly just guessing the days I'm not experiencing this sensation is just me trying to hide the obvious.

I'm trying my best, I'm doing whatever I can to be the best version of me but it's never enough. It's draining myself more and more each day. It takes the world to just function. And I've completely lost the strength needed to even fight against it.

Would really appreciate some hugs tbh. It's getting rough.

Thanks in advance for reading.

Life is becoming too much and I feel like no one genuinely cares. I really could use a huge hug right now, I’m not having a good time 😭

I'm a 25, male. For the last few years (since I was 22) I've been noticing my feelings have been shutting down. Let's say for example how I used to enjoy things back then and how I can't even think about anything that brings happiness today. Sometimes everything looks like I can't even feel any positive emotions at this point anymore.

I'm completely unable to feel anything. Or at least not the way I used to. Even though I have family and friends, I don't think I can fully trust them. I feel none of them would understand how I feel. Most of times I haven't been able to reach for someone physically whenever I needed it. I'm not exactly surrounded by people, not alone, but I feel stupidly lonely. And even with that in mind I don't feel I have the strength at all to change that.

It feels like even if I'm progressing with my own goals, nothing feels rewarding or fulfilling at all. Got my driving license, got my job, even my own car and I don't feel happy at all. It's like I'm isolated in a bubble while everyone is moving on with their life.

I've also reached a point where I don't feel therapy is really helping anymore. I go on with my life out of inertia rather than out of my own desire. I'm tired everyday, don't have the strength anymore to change what's going on as I said before. I feel so empty and I can't think any way I could change that, even if it isn't possible at the moment or at all.

And the worst part of all is that I don't really care anymore that much... I can't be bothered, because I feel it'd drain me if I start thinking about it. I try to do stuff, go on with everything so nobody gets worried. But I honestly don't know how long will I be able to go through before I end breaking down. Or if that's even going to happen at some point (to clarify, not going to "leave", just tearing down apart or any similar thing).

I apologize if this doesn't make much sense. I wanted to get it off my chess for some days now and this is the best way I could think about.