u/Medical-Marsupial709

Hello everyone,
My world has been a nightmare for the last five years just one thing after another.
However I got pregnant 5 months ago and suddenly everything seemed full of light.
So After I made it past 12 weeks, I finally started feeling like myself again. I began smiling, making plans, and dreaming about the future. Even though I was dealing with issues with my house and everything else going on in life, I finally felt like there was light again….until news I got on June 30th.

Here is the background:
My husband and I have been married for 5.5 years. We started IVF because he had a vasectomy, and I was 35 when we began. I actually thought IVF might be a blessing because we wanted twins, so I thought, “We’ll transfer two embryos, have our family, and be done.”
Instead, it became the hardest five years of our lives.
The first six IVF cycles failed, and that’s when I started to panic. I used to be such an optimistic person. But then we went through five more IVF cycles, and each one brought more and more heavy heartbreak. During that time, my husband had three sperm extraction surgeries because that’s what our doctors recommended instead of a reversal. Near the end, we finally saw a male fertility surgeon who told us that doing a reversal at that point would be much more complicated because of all the scar tissue from the extractions. But my husband knew he only had one more surgery left in him, so we decided to do the reversal anyway.
By the grace of God, it worked.

Over five years, we went through roughly 16–18 surgeries and procedures throughout the 11 IVF cycles. We spent around $300,000, sold our house because we didn’t have insurance coverage, and lost a huge amount of money in investments that turned out to be devastating.

Then, five months ago, we finally became pregnant. Naturally a few months after we decided to wnd our ivf journey.

For the first time in years, I smiled again. me i did that my body is capable…..I started believing in the future. I started living again.

Here it comes…..
A few days ago, we found out our baby has a random condition caused by a random genetic mutation. It just happens to like 1 in 1,500 chance. Our baby was the 1 in 1,500. Oh my god crying so bad. Its NOT FAIRRRR. We’ve been told the baby has about a 50% chance of surviving the pregnancy, and if he does survive, his quality of life would likely be very poor.
After countless conversations, prayers, and meeting with specialists, we made the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy. The procedure is scheduled for Thursday.
To say that I’m shattered is an understatement.I have to plan travel and abortion and a funeral all next week :( a funeral for my unborn child oh my god. please help.

I honestly don’t know how to keep going. The last five years have been one traumatic event after another. IVF alone broke me, but we’ve also lived through several other devastating losses, including losing more than half of our hard earned wealth, and some other disappointing things. No breaks in between the sad times.

I feel like I’ve lost everything.
I don’t recognize myself anymore. I miss the person I used to be. She feels so far away now. she is dead.
If you’ve been through something like this, or if you’ve experienced unimaginable losses, how did you survive it? What helped you take the next step when life felt impossible?

All I want to do is die to be honest. I want to swim until I cannot swim anymore in the ocean in a far away country. I am so broken and can barely get out of bed. Its been loke this for some time now (during the last 3 ivf cycles)
I just cant imagine getting back into life and dealing or having ambition to do anything even go out to eat or “enjoy” hanging out with family and friends. I am not capable of living. I am dead amongst the living.

Right now, I feel completely broken, and I would be so grateful to hear from anyone who has found a way through this kind of grief.

Hello everyone,
I’ve been away from this community for a while because I’m pregnant. I’m five months along now. Every time this community would come to mind, I always sent yall baby dust and wished yall best.
So After I made it past 12 weeks, I finally started feeling like myself again. I began smiling, making plans, and dreaming about the future. Even though I was dealing with issues with my house and everything else going on in life, I finally felt like there was light again….until news I got on June 30th.

Here is the background:
My husband and I have been married for 5.5 years. We started IVF because he had a vasectomy, and I was 35 when we began. I actually thought IVF might be a blessing because we wanted twins, so I thought, “We’ll transfer two embryos, have our family, and be done.”
Instead, it became the hardest five years of our lives.
The first six IVF cycles failed, and that’s when I started to panic. I used to be such an optimistic person. But then we went through five more IVF cycles, and each one brought more and more heavy heartbreak. During that time, my husband had three sperm extraction surgeries because that’s what our doctors recommended instead of a reversal. Near the end, we finally saw a male fertility surgeon who told us that doing a reversal at that point would be much more complicated because of all the scar tissue from the extractions. But my husband knew he only had one more surgery left in him, so we decided to do the reversal anyway.
By the grace of God, it worked.

Over five years, we went through roughly 16–18 surgeries and procedures throughout the 11 IVF cycles. We spent around $300,000, sold our house because we didn’t have insurance coverage, and lost a huge amount of money in investments that turned out to be devastating.

Then, five months ago, we finally became pregnant. Naturally a few months after we decided to wnd our ivf journey.

For the first time in years, I smiled again. me i did that my body is capable…..I started believing in the future. I started living again.

Here it comes…..
A few days ago, we found out our baby has a random condition caused by a random genetic mutation. It just happens to like 1 in 1,500 chance. Our baby was the 1 in 1,500. Oh my god crying so bad. Its NOT FAIRRRR. We’ve been told the baby has about a 50% chance of surviving the pregnancy, and if he does survive, his quality of life would likely be very poor.
After countless conversations, prayers, and meeting with specialists, we made the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy. The procedure is scheduled for Thursday.
To say that I’m shattered is an understatement.I have to plan travel and abortion and a funeral all next week :( a funeral for my unborn child oh my god. please help.

I honestly don’t know how to keep going. The last five years have been one traumatic event after another. IVF alone broke me, but we’ve also lived through several other devastating losses, including losing more than half of our hard earned wealth, and some other disappointing things. My husband and I spent our 20s and most of my 30s working sooooo hard to be “rich af” and it costs me my best baby making years. A lot of it poof gone…we are still trying to recover from those bad investments. But Just like that. All those years wasted. No breaks in between the sad times.

I feel like I’ve lost everything.
I don’t recognize myself anymore. I miss the person I used to be. She feels so far away now. she is dead.
If you’ve been through something like this, or if you’ve experienced unimaginable losses, how did you survive it? What helped you take the next step when life felt impossible?

All I want to do is die to be honest. I want to swim until I cannot swim anymore in the ocean in a far away country. I am so broken and can barely get out of bed. Its been loke this for some time now (during the last 3 ivf cycles)
I just cant imagine getting back into life and dealing or having ambition to do anything even go out to eat or “enjoy” hanging out with family and friends. I am not capable of living. I am dead amongst the living.

Right now, I feel completely broken, and I would be so grateful to hear from anyone who has found a way through this kind of grief.