u/Mediocre_Poetry_2588

it feels suffocating having to always make him happy i know im not perfect and i interrupt him sometimes and i am not a very social person who wants to hang out with him all of the time.i just need a break from making him happy and stop seeing my friends because i know he will get upset if i do and then i have to assure him that nothing happened because he always thinks im being freaky with my friends and it feels like a bag over my head like my whole life revolves around him i know that i kissed her as a joke 10 months ago (he kicked my in the face for it) and that i dated my bbsf for 2 hours 18 months ago and i get why he would think that but he’s seen how i am with them because we hang out oven (we are in a friendgroup) im not freaky or anything and with my bbsf hes not even allowed on my bed cuz he sweats a lot and me and her have normal convos.and he always ragebaits me by calling me gay but im very much not i love him a lot and i regret kissing her so much to the point we’re i’ve cried telling him how much it hurts me to know he’s still affected by it and how much i regret it but he never wants to do anything without me or me do anything without him there or him inviting himself to the point i can’t get a break and we do not meet in the week only weekends but i like seeing my friends and i have to beg him to come out with them or he will make me guilty for going without him . we used to be so happy and never argue but now most of the time we are over me trying to tell him that i cant understand why he’s so controlling and we both end up crying and apologies.but when i do want to go see my friends i bring him and it embarrassing because he starts being a dick to me and our friends or he will be the nicest person ever it’s so random and frustrating. i will explain more examples if needed i just need advice on what to do because i dont want to break up because i love him so much and we are both only 16.

(my wording and grammar is not that good so please try to hear me out) it feels suffocating having to always make him happy i know im not perfect and i interrupt him sometimes and i am not a very social person who wants to hang out with him all of the time.i just need a break from making him happy and stop seeing my friends because i know he will get upset if i do and then i have to assure him that nothing happened because he always thinks im being freaky with my friends and it feels like a bag over my head like my whole life revolves around him i know that i kissed her as a joke 10 months ago (he kicked my in the face for it) and that i dated my bbsf for 2 hours 18 months ago and i get why he would think that but he’s seen how i am with them because we hang out oven (we are in a friendgroup) im not freaky or anything and with my bbsf hes not even allowed on my bed cuz he sweats a lot and me and her have normal convos.and he always ragebaits me by calling me gay but im very much not i love him a lot and i regret kissing her so much to the point we’re i’ve cried telling him how much it hurts me to know he’s still affected by it and how much i regret it but he never wants to do anything without me or me do anything without him there or him inviting himself to the point i can’t get a break and we do not meet in the week only weekends but i like seeing my friends and i have to beg him to come out with them or he will make me guilty for going without him . we used to be so happy and never argue but now most of the time we are over me trying to tell him that i cant understand why he’s so controlling and we both end up crying and apologies.but when i do want to go see my friends i bring him and it embarrassing because he starts being a dick to me and our friends or he will be the nicest person ever it’s so random and frustrating. i will explain more examples if needed i just need advice on what to do because i dont want to break up because i love him so much and we are both only 16.