r/AmIOverthinking

This buyer just liked and then purchased a 150.00 watch from me but profile, that has no closet, no sales and no love notes, shows last active in February? How can they purchase without being active?

My bf after 5 years in AA started drinking again.

EDITED: Basically after 5 years, of AA, and supporting him through detox, ER visits and an almost case of wet brain due to excessive drinking, my bf has been sober 4 of the 5 years together.
He is now drinking socially again. Twice now, it's caused a problem. This was a brief breakdown of lastnight. I take full accountability for being a jerk and passive in some of the interactions. I just need to vent this out. So here it goes, I went to a BBQ with him, and his childhood friends. We're in our 40s now. I knew maybe 2 or 3 people. There were about 50 people there all hanging out in the pool, drinking, kids playing etc. It was about 105 degrees out. He had every intention of drinking. He just began socially drinking and this has been a huge adjustment. The sober bf, is very aware and empathetic. The drinking boyfriend who I've just met, is not.

"I walked in, pretty overwhelmed. Immediately greeted by 3 of his friends, he then stood in front of me & didn't introduce me, i wiggled my around him over shadowed by him, hes 6'1 , im 5'3. His friend made a comment and introduced himself to me, and my bf then realized omg im sorry this is my gf, I was overwhelmed just walking in & that kinda set the tone for my anxiety, for anyone who has social anxiety, you may understand.

Then we sit down, hes drank 2, 9% beers by now, some drunk girl comes over to him, "hey do you remember me from 2nd grade!??" & he gets up starts talking to her, he then doesn't introduce me again, they talk about grade school, their both standing up talking over me, Then that goes on for 20 minutes.
Then , His friend comes over & is like get in the pool, so he leaves me to go in the pool.( I did not bring a bathing suit bc i didnt know they had a pool.) I had somewhere to go at 10pm, and I knew he was having fun. So I was like hey I'll just go, I don't want to hold you back & I'll get a uber.

He said I don't want you to, but ok, walks me outside & after talking, I decide to suck it up and stay.

We go in & he goes in the pool I sit by the pool.he gets out comes over to me and we talk. I take full accountability of this, I was kinda ignorant at this point w/ my comments. I just couldn't hold it back.

He gets angry with me, sais that I am being negative and ruining his fun, as he is taking down jello shots, he walks off to go play in the soap machine, then he goes to do volleyball for 30 minutes, after that, I said I gotta go soon, it was getting late.

he responded with, okay then go, i can call uber. Inrealized an uber would be about 30 minutes away, so I end up sitting & waiting. & then when he's done... I said do you have your keys? I asked this bc I couldn't find them in my bag.

He said "I just want to get away from you, your so negative", while everyone is gathering their things and watching the fireworks together, he pushed me away. ( not physically). I felt like complete shit and so uncomfortable. I did say to him, "I don't like this character in you", & I meant I don't like drunk you! He's rude and not the guy I've been dating! I see now why he was sober. I know I'm guilty of my own anxiety. Any input that's honest would be so helpful. I should also note, that when we got home, we kinda went back and forth on this. He basically said " I did nothing wrong, you have insecurities you need to deal with that have nothing to do with me". I didn't respond anymore. I just feel like I'm going nuts.

#AIO Should I be concerned?

My daughter is 15 and recently got her first boyfriend. They've known each other for a few years and now go to the same high school, but have only recently decided to become a couple. I am fond of the guy so far. She mentioned that they have each other's location on Life360. I find that concerning. When I was 15 there was no internet (available to the public, I'm 42), so the idea of constantly tracking each other feels excessive to me. Cause boundaries! Should I be concerned, or am I just not used to this level of transparency? Is this normal in modern teen relationships?

I (F) decided to cosplay to a convention as a video game character. My friend asked if she could come along and she asked if she could come and match me as said character’s love interest. I was a little taken aback by it but, yknow, it’s kind of a Mario and Peach situation where they’re technically love interests but not really. We went and had a great time. Now she’s thinking of other cosplays we could do and she’s suggesting all couples! Including an actual couple from a popular lesbian manga. I brushed it off with the first cosplay but…?

We are both bisexual, but I never got the inclination that she saw me as anything other than friendly before this. She offhandedly mentioned that she had seen two other people cosplaying our same characters get engaged the day before. When I jokingly asked where my ring was, she just laughed and said “hahaha you’ll have to keep on waiting for that.” So I don’t think she’s interested in being anything but friends, but she keeps wanting to dress up as couples????

TL;DR: friend wants to do couples cosplay but we’re not a couple? Does she want to be or is it just dress up?

EDIT: yall, I know you’re not mind readers. Yes, I intend to talk to her but I wanted to know if I was completely off base before I make a fool of myself. I overthink a lot of things and I’m definitely not the type of person that people express interest in often.

I 20F just discovered that my boyfriend 22M of 3 years was looking up asian adult content on his Reddit account, I’m Latina… And came to find more of his search history including “Sophie rain leaked” “freebras” “titties” was found in his Reddit. And it doesn’t stop there, on his recently deleted there was a screenshot of a Snapchat account with the girl who he cheated on me with. While the girl on snap was not added, I still question why he would have screenshotted it two days ago while I was away on a trip before coming back home to him. We have had a rocky relationship, rebuilding trust again but I have been having bad anxiety with feeling like he is hiding something. He had cheated before in the past so my suspicions come with reason, I chose to grow and move past the cheating but seeing stuff like this worries me. I am less worried about the pornography and more about screenshotting his previous interested that he cheated on me with but I can’t really see if I’m over or under reacting to all of this. I want to explain I understand I chose the risk of staying with a cheater, but I date with intent to marry. I have spent much time with this person and believe that people this young make mistakes. I chose to work on this difficult situation and choose to trust him again but I worry that I might be making a mistake considering I don’t think he is the most transparent partner with me considering past things I have seen and the new things I have just seen.

Am I overthinking that this is cheating? Or micro cheating at the very least?

My girlfriend decided to have a sleepover with her friend for the girl’s birthday since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate on the actual day. She spoke to me otp the entire day leading up to her getting to her apartment and was texting here and there throughout the day. I was completely fine the entire time because nothing seemed suspicious in my head but then it was around time to sleep and i asked if she wanted to call so we can tell eachother goodnight but she tells me no since her jaw hurts (jaw pain that’s existed this isnt new). I said okay and just left it as a text. The problem is whenever im out she calls me to see what im doing and i answer immediately , but when shes out if i call its declined. After her response i sent another text immediately after and she doesnt respond but then it was obvious she was on socials til around 1 am.

I feel weird because its like the excuse of not wanting to briefly call was kind of weak then you also stopped responding while still being up. i honestly dont want to accuse her of something she wasnt doing but at the same time, that chance still exists. so am i overthinking and should i just drop it?

i also have no way of knowing if she was actually at the girl’s house or somewhere else. we dont share locations and even if we did, i dont know where that girl lives.

This guy I'm talking to told me about my notes back in 2024, saying that he assumed it was for him (and looking back at it, that explains why he seemed so interested sa notes ko, replying to it constantly asking me who it were for) and that he even bragged to his friend about it. I recalled when I put up that note exactly and he had a gf at the time. I assured that my recall of the timeline was right through a convo. I was so shocked when I made sure of it, it took me days to process. Now, I don't know what to think of him since that piece of information he disclosed sounded like micro cheating to me (yes, I know we have different views of what's considered micro cheating and that one seemed like it to me) I even am thinking whether I'm overreacting and if it may sound like not such a big deal.

AIO Hey everyone, I game with a couple who are in a relationship, and one of them jokingly says on headset that I’m flirting with one or both of them. I do play along with the banter sometimes, but then their other half makes darker comments in the group chat—like, ‘Why don’t you two just fuck already and get it over with, because all you ever do is flirt.’ And things like imagine sending each other private messages all day #flirting Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? I recently stopped talking too them both over it and cut off the friendship but they confronted me and told me it was all jokes and got very defensive over it so now I feel like I’ve made the wrong decision and overthought the entire thing ?

TLDR ended friendship over backhanded comments saying I was flirting with them?

TLDR: My boyfriend only visits once every 1-2 weeks, regardless of living close, and i’m thinking about leaving the relationship.

My boyfriend (M20) has cancelled on me (F18) 5 times in the past month, which is equal to the amount of days we actually saw each other. For context, he lives 1 minute away and works 5 days a week (usually with Tuesdays and Thursdays off). He used to visit about 8-11 times a month. I don’t mind if he takes days off sometimes, but it’s been over a month since we actually spent both days he had off together. He doesn’t communicate his plans with me well, so even when we do see each other he’s often 1-3 hours late. I see him once every 1-2 weeks now. I had a talk about this with him, and he said that he’d try to spend more time with me and start stopping by after work sometimes (like he used to). But since that (which happened about a week ago) he’s already cancelled twice. Both times I didn’t even know he was cancelling, he just didn’t reach out about it both times after making it seem like we had plans. Often I start to feel crazy as if I made up him hinting towards the plans in the first place. As materialistic as this sounds, he also used to bring me flowers super often (usually 2-3 times a month!) but it’s been since end of may since he brought me any. It’s not really about the flowers, it’s just the change that lines up with this and makes me feel like he doesn’t like me anymore.

**Here’s an exact copy of our texts on a day he just didn’t further pursue plans.

Him: “Goodmorning honey! I kind of fell asleep while watching a youtube video and my phone died😭.I should be able to go over today if that's okay with you? I love you!”
Me: “it just depends what time I end up getting back from my doctors appointment, shouldn't be super late though. I love youuuu❤️❤️❤️”
**I ended up getting home at 3:50, minutes before he got off work so it was perfect. We share location through an app that notifies him when i’m home, he sent a notif back to confirm he saw it.**
Him: “I hate this store😭”
“Me tired”
“And irritated🫤”
Me: “i’m sorryyyy”
**Then he drove 2 hours to sell pokemon cards to someone, still never bringing up stopping by.**

I gained a friend through work some years ago. Even though we're in different departments now, we still are pretty close.

I found out I was pregnant, during the time she was on vacation. She got engaged during her vacation. I waited until she got back to work to congratulate her and to also share my news.

Was I wrong for sharing my news? I feel like she was supportive at first, and now as time goes by, she's kinda dry whenever I text her about my pregnancy. I left her on read because it felt like I'm grasping at straws to respond to her latest message. But I know work has been rough for her recently, with her being promoted and having more work responsibilities.

So for starters, hello, hola, geia sou, whatever language you speak, anyways, I like Harry Potter.

That's about all you need to know about me.

I was wanting to make an OC (Original Character) for the franchise since I adore it so heavily, but I wanted a British sounding name or a common one from England.

Enter my friend's name, we'll say it's "M", now the character has nothing to do with her at all, I just really like the name M. But for some reason, whenever I think about it I keep associating it with her.

Am I overthinking it?

Using a throwaway account as some friends know my main one. 

I need to know AIO or not?

I (35m) have been with my wife (34F) for 15 years, have 3 kids, a home and both work full time. 

Almost 2 years ago now, my wife was going through a bit of a mental health issue, almost like a midlife crisis. She was struggling with being "mum" instead of being her, if that makes sense. She went for a few nights out with her girlfriends and her sister. Nothing crazy, and I was happy for her to let off some steam. 

As that seemed to be all calming down and things were getting back to normal, we had a family party at our house. All her family were over, there were a few drinks (nothing crazy, i think my wife maybe had 2 glasses of wine, i don't drink) . My wife's phone was connected to Alexa to play music. 

Everyone went out for a smoke/vape while I stayed inside with her sister as she's pregnant. Whilst talking to her, I grabbed my wife's phone to skip the song that was playing and noticed she had 2 WhatsApp notifications from a number I didn't recognise, and a profile picture of a man I didn't recognise. 

I have never looked through my wife's phone, never had a reason too, but in that moment, I felt I had to check what this was. Put her pin in and it was incorrect. She'd changed it. 

I took a picture of the notification to get the number.

When she came back in a stood near her phone and as she went to pick it up and noticed the notifications, she quickly swiped them away. 

I asked her "who was that"

She responded with "just a friend from high school".

I didn't push any further as we were surrounded my family, so i went outside to cool off. 

When everybody left, I sat her down and asked her to explain who he was.

She told me he was an old school friend, they started talking on Instagram, then moved to WhatsApp. It was just friendly conversation, someone for her to speak to that could give an outside perspective. I asked her to show me the conversations. She had already deleted them all and blocked him. 

I asked why she changed her pin. She says "oh you remember, when our youngest,4 at the time managed to unlock my phone so i changed the password."

Which i don't believe, no 4yr old could remember a 6-digit pin, certainly not my 4yr old. 

We spoke a number of times about this but I still keep thinking about this. Here's my main issues that i keep going over

1. just why, tbh
2. Why delete it all if it was innocent?
3. why, when i messaged then tried to call him did he instantly block me? 
4. This guy lives about 400 miles away

Am I overthinking this or am I totally justified? its been 2 years, i still cant stop. I feel like i need answers, but shes deleted all evidence and hes blocked me. 

Throwaway for obvious reasons even though this is so specific. This feels stupid to even type out lmao but it’s been sitting in my head for a few days.

My (22M) girlfriend (19F) and I have been together for about 6 months. Everything has been good, like seriously no issues that I can think of. That’s why this is bothering me more than it probably should.

About a month ago I noticed she reposted an edit of Jacob Elordi on TikTok. Just one of those edits with clips of him, interviews, scenes from movies, whatever. No big deal.

Over the next couple weeks I noticed she had reposted a few more but these ones were mostly him shirtless, in boxers, etc. They were much more sexual and the women in the comments were saying pretty vulgar things with the gifs.

At first I didn’t think much of it. But later I really started thinking my girlfriend was infatuated with Jacob Elordi and it bugged me. So last week I asked jokingly if he was her celebrity crush and she shrugged saying, “I mean… he’s 6’5.” and laughed.

I laughed too in the moment but afterward I felt awkward. I kept thinking about how she answered that and what she really meant.

Obviously it’s not like I think she’s going to leave me for a celebrity or anything lol. It’s more like I started thinking about what she actually finds attractive in general. I look nothing like Jacob Elordi.

I’m 5’10, 5’11.5 with shoes on, so I’ve never really thought of myself as short or anything, but now I keep noticing height in random situations. Like when we’re out I see her noticing tall guys and I’m just kind of standing there overthinking it. It wasn’t something I cared about before the 6’5 comment but now I can’t lie I feel a little insecure.

So two days ago she reposted another edit of Jacob Elordi but this time I saw she had commented a gif of Sabrina Carpenter licking her lips and wrote “he is sooo 😩”

Right after I saw this I brought up the TikTok reposts and said it’s bothering me and she said I was being weird and it’s just social media. She said I’m being sensitive if I care about her reposts and comments and stuff.

I get that it’s just “TikTok humor” to comment things like that. And I don’t even really care if she has a celebrity crush, but I don’t like that all our friends and anyone who follows her can see her reposts and see her gushing over him. Her friends would definitely tell her I’m weird if they saw I reposted multiple videos of Sydney Sweeney and commented on them. So I can’t shake the feeling that this is a bit odd to do in a committed relationship.

Even though she’s not going to leave me for Jacob Elordi lol, I know it’s at least half true she finds him and men like him much more physically attractive than me, and I feel like she’s putting that in my face knowing I view her TikTok. I know she wouldn’t feel good if I reposted a Sydney Sweeney edit and when she asked if she’s my celebrity crush I said “I mean…she has D cups.” I would never do or say something like that to her.

I haven’t said anything since I brought up the reposts and comment because I don’t want to seem insecure or controlling, but I also feel like I can’t unsee it now.

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking or if I shouldn’t put up with this. Looking back I know she made me unlike a girl’s beach photos on instagram when we first started dating. I willingly did that and I feel like it’s not okay for her to repost videos of another man and leave thirsty comments if I can’t even like a girl’s swimsuit picture on insta. I get that he’s a celebrity but it seems excessive and I’m really turned off by this whole situation.

I genuinely really like her and everything outside of this has been good, which is why I feel stupid for even caring this much, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m second guessing how she actually sees me.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this or am I just completely out of touch? She’s only my second real girlfriend so I don’t know if this level of crushing on a celeb is normal or not.

My husband and my sister have developed what I think is an unusually close relationship, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting.

My husband travels for work to the area where my sister lives, so they have opportunities to see each other when he is in town.

Some examples:

\- They text directly about travel plans, shopping, TV shows, and random family/life stuff.
\- My sister has gone shopping one-on-one with him before and bought clothes for him because she remembered his size.
\- She frequently sends me photos of outfits, earrings, dresses, etc. asking for my opinion, but often it feels more like she wants validation than advice.
\- Once she modeled a dress in front of me, my husband, and her husband. Her husband complimented her, but she immediately asked my husband what he thought.
\- She has privately texted my husband asking when he’ll be in town and told him when she would be away, seemingly so he wouldn’t visit when she was gone.
\- When my husband mentioned a possible birthday-week visit, she got very excited and immediately said she would start looking for reservations.
\- She often seems unusually interested in my husband’s reaction to clothes or style choices.
\- My husband says nothing inappropriate has happened and that it’s all harmless.

Am I overreacting, or does this sound like emotional flirtation / blurred boundaries? If you were in my shoes, would this bother you?

So basically, we had been dating for 3 months.

The last month was very hard for her. She was dealing with a lot in her life, and she started to pull away. She became very hot and cold.

I was very understanding and respectful. I didn't push her and gave her the space and time she needed, but something felt really off, and I was becoming frustrated.

The last straw came 4 days ago after she took 2 days to reply and canceled our date.

So I respectfully said: "I can see you're dealing with a lot right now, and I know how hard it is. But I also feel like I'm not a priority at all. I just wanted to ask if we could talk whenever it's convenient for you. If you need more time and space, just tell me."

She spiraled and said some very hurtful things. She told me I wasn't being understanding, said she had already told me she needed space, that she had no time for this, and that I could leave if I wanted.

The hurtful part is that I hadn't been clingy or needy the whole time. I was just shocked. I apologized, told her to take as much time as she needed, and said she could contact me if and when she needed anything.

Three days passed without a word. Then I woke up this morning and saw that she had blocked me.

AIO my boyfriend and i are long distance. we had our relationship public in our facebook profiles for the last 3 months (we’ve been together for a year this month) and today it randomly disappeared (he pinky promised he didn’t remove it but idk if i trust that) while he also has barely talked to me all day long and started being on snapchat 24/7 and constantly getting messages and answering them instantly while he always take so long to answer me and he says it’s just his cousin and coworker but he never texts this much. i’m starting to think he’s cheating on me and i don’t know if im overreacting.

My friend and I went to see obsession yesterday. Another one of our friends and her boyfriend went to see it the day before. She asked me what we thought. We said it was really good. She said yeah it was she found it hilarious though and that she and her boyfriend had to hold back from laughing most of the movie.

Below is some movie spoilers so stop reading here if you don’t want to see mentions of the exact plots:

I said “umm? It’s got really serious themes how can you find it funny.” She said “Yeah some was serious and scary but a lot of it was funny too.” I asked her how she can find a movie about consent and so many other serious things funny. She said the consent scene wasn’t funny. I told her that’s like the main theme of the movie.

I asked her what about the ending. She said that was scary she didn’t find the ending funny apart from the fact it only took him like a minute to die which wasn’t very realistic but the rest of the end she didn’t find funny.

I blocked her. The friend who went to watch the movie with me said our friend has messaged asking why I’ve blocked her. I said that I find it a bit gross she finds a film like that funny it’s kinda weird and I don’t know if I want to keep being friends. She told me to grow up and that while she also didn’t find it funny it’s just a film and not that serious.

HALLLPPP - I did the thing. I snooped at my partner’s instagram and found that his search history was him mostly looking up what looked like models/influencers (none of them had followers over 10k) so they definitely weren’t celebrities. The profiles were the typical selfies, bikini pictures (all had a bunch of swimsuit photos) the occasional food,matcha, etc.

I know he deliberately searched them (they showed up when you click to type search) he doesnt follow any or them.

I considered that they weren’t Instagram recommendations because clicking on recs does not show up in search history drop down.

These are my questions -

How does he know to look for them if they’re not big celebrities?
There were over 2 dozens profile searches of different women - so its definitely not a one off search.
Any reasonable explanation? Or am I overthinking?

My bf said he’s using blue heart reacts for normal people and uses pink react only to me. I find it weird that he’s using heart emojis to other people. In the back of my mind I was asking myself if I am overthinking this? Am I insecure? Am I childish? I kinda not want him to make use of such emojis because it’s basically means showing affection (heart emojis).

I suggested him if he wants to use other emojis, at first, he replied nicely, but on my second suggestion, he didn’t bother to reply. Probably because he does not think of this something big or don’t want to bother make it a big of deal.

Am I overthinking this? Do I overthink?