u/gravitao

28f and i have a mirena IUD. got it in march 2025. i am a bit concerned because i havent had my period this month and i am 16 days late. I know the mirena does cause irregular periods, but i havent missed a whole period before and my periods always showed up at the expected times.

should i be concerned or is it a waste of time to worry over it?

28f and i have a mirena IUD. got it in march 2025. i am a bit concerned because i havent had my period this month and i am 16 days late. I know the mirena does cause irregular periods, but i havent missed a whole period before.

should i be concerned or is it a waste of time to worry over it?

I can't tell if it's because I've been missing some of my mood stabilizer doses, but I keep going back and forth if my boyfriend actually likes me. (28F) and (34M).

He does have autism and isn't an emotional person. He has a routine for everything and anything. He is also very career focused and it seems thats where he puts all his mental and physical energy into. He is currently working full time, studying for EA exams, and is looking into doing his part time job again.

Basically my needs aren't being met. We only see each other once a week, he rarely compliments me, we haven't done intimate things in over a month(tbf i did move back in with my parents and we have little privacy now), he doesn't initiate touch(only gives me a peck for a greeting and a goodbye), I can't call him when I want to(we do call at least 3 to 4 times a week for usually an hour or more), he plans all the dates and we never do things I want to do, and when I bring up the future, such as eventually moving in together and what I envision it being like, it is so unreciprocated it seems. All he says is "yeah, that sounds nice" or "lets take it a day at a time." He also never met my dogs(he is scared of dogs and I do respect his feelings, but I guess it makes me a little sad). He also doesn't pay for me often and we split the bill a lot.

We have been together for nearly 2 years. When he talks about the future and how he'll eventually have his loans paid off and the career is working towards, I seem to not be in his vision. He never mentions me. I do plan on talking to him about it, but I feel like I'd probably start crying when I talk to him about it.

When I brought up the lack of intimacy and how I feel he doesn't find me desirable he said something along the lines of "I wouldn't be with you or talking to you if I didn't find you desirable".

I do like him a lot. I find him to be admirable, inspiring, and I feel so much affection for him. I feel I still have a lot more to learn from this relationship and him. But I don't feel he is as invested as I am.

I have told him I am looking for marriage and that is my end goal with our relationship. But these things just never get better even when we talk about it.

He also doesn't see me for holidays or birthdays. His bday just passed and all we did was call. But idk is it a brat thing to be sad about that? Like I really don't think I'm important to him.

And he never relies on me. He just had some dental work done, but when I asked if he'd like me to give him a ride he says no. He also doesn't want me paying for him. He never calls or texts me when to vent or anything.

I know I have to talk to him about all this, but I also think I may be overthinking a bit and it's making me really sad. I feel like I compromise on everything and he rarely makes sacrifices for me(he has done it on occasion though).

Part of me wants to cancel our plans this weekend and just do my own thing and limit how much I talk to him, but I really don't want to do that because I really enjoy talking and spending time with him. I just wish I could feel loved in our relationship.

On the upside though, he listens and remembers details. He always encourages me to do things he thinks would benefit me.

so theres an opportunity here for my sisters bum ass baby daddy #3 to go to jail.

god i want it to happen so freakin bad i cant express enough how much this man deserves to face some kind of justice for the shit he has put my family through.

this man told my niece that she will be getting a letter in the mail and to not reply or testify to it. otherwise he will go to jail and told her that her mother and 2 other siblings will be homeless. AND U KNOW WHAT I HOPE SO. fuck. the fact he even said this to my niece feels like coercion. my sister will most likely move back in with my mom. and i really hope that will get her shit together.

my niece told me this and we had a discussion, how all she wants is for her family to leave and stop living with him. how she doesnt want her siblings in that environment anymore. but shes scared that if she replies to it and something happens that her mother will hate her. i dont want to influence her with my feelings or opinions because i want this to be 100% her decision. i just told her that my sister wont hate her ever. i let her talk about this man and her trauma that she has of him and how ruins her family's life. i let vent her frustrations.

all i want to tell her is to do it. but i know thats wrong.

but he deserves it so much and honestly i dont believe my family is safe there. like even i called cps multiple times because of how deranged this is. i dont even know how many times cps has been involved with them.

so what can i, as an aunt, do to support my niece during this time? and i also want to ensure she gets the letter. idk how any legal things work though.

my parents bring the worst out in me.

i recently moved back in with my parents after living alone. i was unable to afford it and moved back in, which i am grateful about.

when i was by myself and lived with my roommate i was able to regulate my emotions, even in stressful moments, and go about my day. i handled things like a functional adult. my mental health was the best it had ever been and i had so much space in my mind i could actually do the things i want to do and improve on issues like cleanliness, hygiene, working out, eating healthier, art projects, having fun and going out. i had a lot of improvements in my life. i know those are basic things, but for most my life they werent things i knew how to do or had space in my mind for.

and then i moved in with my parents in mid june... since then its been weird. i would be totally normal and then i get into an overstimulating situation with my one or both my parents and i completely snap. it brings me right back to square one where there is like a complete lack of control and anger and rage overtakes me. its like im 16 again. i want this to stop immediately. i dont say anything harmful or mean or insulting to them, but i start getting hysterical and start screaming when it feels like they shredding something in my brain. the times i had these outbursts, i would start screaming about what i was doing and they are basically getting in my way. i know there is no excuse for my out of control outburst.

they do not understand boundaries, privacy, and they think theyre always right.

since moving in, my dad thinks he is entitled to my money and car. he constantly steals it, to the point i now sleep with my wallet. he has my spare key and i dont know where he puts it. and he is gone for hours. my mom says the rules are that i go grocery shopping with her on the weekends, which is extremely inconvenient for me but i will go either way. they also go in my room constantly. i pay rent. i literally give them rent money and get my own groceries.

i want my outbursts to stop. immediately and for it to never happen again. i am way too old for that and i want it to stop. i feel disgusted with myself for my behavior.

i do see a therapist and i am on meds for my mental illnesses.

i feel like something is different about how my brain is wired from the very beginning. i do have mental illnesses and ADHD that i am medicated for, but i didnt get a diagnosis for that until i was 17. i am 28 yrs old now.

but anyway. from preschool and kindergarten my parents put me in a special education school. and from elementary to middle school, i would be pulled out of classes multiple times a week to do hearing tests and read stories out loud. i feel like they would ask me how shapes looked to me as well. my memories are kinda screwed though, so i dont remember if there was anything else they did.

so im just wondering why all that happened and if theres anything i should know. ive asked my parents about it and they said they dont remember.

i would be very appreciative if someone has any info on this or anything.

i have been getting into pyromancy and ceromancy lately. i am a beginner witch. i posted my experience about it on a sub and someone recommended i get into this. specifically with knight Farcus. i looked into him and everything i have been wanting to do and focus on with myself, he covers it all. he represents all the work i want to do with myself. i want to be challenged. i want understand myself and the world better and be a better communicator. i want to be better at divination.

i do have experience with setting up altars and offerings for my ancestors, however i have no idea where to start with demons and spirits.

does anyone have advice? sorry for my ignorance.

ive never been ashamed of my interests and hobbies. NEVER. im loud and proud about it. idc if its niche or weird or even offensive to people. if someone asks me what im into or what my hobbies are i honestly tell them.

yet my bf says theres a time and a place for it. that its inappropriate depending on the person and the context. i still think about that time he specifically told me not to talk about kpop or BL to his DnD friends. these things arent even niche and many people are into them.

like what the heck. his dnd friends.

last night we were talking on the phone and i was telling him about some witchcraft stuff and telling him how my mom yells at me about it. i asked what his parents thought about witchy or spiritual things and he told me they are not for it. and then said not to tell them i do this.

like i'll respect it, but i tend to be too honest and if im asked about spiritual things i might just get excited and potentially say something about it. but like does it really freakin matter what im into? is he embarrassed about my interests? idk maybe I'm misunderstanding something.

i did ceromancy/pyromancy for the first time about a week ago and i cant stop thinking about it. mostly because the things i saw during the ceromancy part. i would like to share my experience, how its kinda tweakin me out, and what im going to do differently the next time i do it.

items used:

blue candle and orange candle

bowl of water

journal and a pen

Topic: me and my partner

1. pyromancy part: i asked the flames many questions about my partner. asked for a representation of him as a person through the flame, how he feels about me, how he feels about the future in regards to me. the flame was interesting. when asking about him as a person it was tall and steady, barely moving. it gave me the vibe of stable and calm, but also disciplined. when asking about his feelings it started circling around the wick clockwise style, but then stopped with the flame blocking the wick from view and was leaning towards me. when i think back on this, it gives me an impression that time is progressing and therefore so are his feelings. when the flame blocked my view and coming towards me it felt.... somewhat secretive in a way. when i asked about the future it got pretty big, it was waving around and flickering, especially at the tip of the flame. it made me feel that perhaps he potentially finds excitement in it.

i also asked about myself and my own energy, it kinda weirded me out ngl. the flame was rigidly and rapidly going in different directions and taking a quick sec in one spot and doing it all over again. it felt desperate to me. it felt anxious and confused to me. like it didnt know what direction to go. and i suppose thats pretty accurate to my life circumstances.

2. ceromancy part: well this is hard to describe. the topic is still me and my partner and i asked my spirit guides for their guidance with this part. this was done with the orange candle. i saw a fetus. a womans chest, belly, and leg. on the belly part there was wax that overlapped, it looks connected, and from it came what looked like an arrow and cupid comes to mind for it. i also what i took as what looks like a tadpole or sp*rm. lastly wax that looks like the side of a woman laying down.

so this weirded me out and makes me a bit worried, but im trying to not be weird about it and go about my day. the suspicion of it is making me want to do a test, ngl but i also feel a lot of weirdness to that. and im trying to convince myself to chill bc no way right.

3. what i'd do differently next time:

for the pyromancy, i will give it a lot more time per question. like at least 10 min per question. i have to learn the fire language too, so ive been considering doing it daily and see how that goes. see if i can understand better.

and for the ceromancy, probably be a lot more specific in regards to a question and pay more attention on the timing of where each wax droplet went so i can interpret it as a story somewhat.

so that is my experience. the only divination i know is tarot which ive been doing for the past 6 years now and feel confident in it.

if anyone has any insight, thoughts, tips, advice... i really would love to hear it. i would also LOVE to hear your experiences with pyromancy and ceromancy.

i just never want to eat again tbh. trying to be constantly aware of any potential binges and cal counting/deficit is really difficult. being around triggers all the time is so annoying. and the insane amoung of shame and guilt when i see the calories added up from thise binges make me feel so wack.

i live with my parents again and the food availability is crazy. luckily i was able to catch myself before a binge, but all i did was replace the food with healthier options. like bananas and watermelon. so at least i dont feel too bad about it. i even put the hot cheetos away and did not eat the entire bag. so a bit proud of that.

i tried asking my parents to stop buying this food or hide it bc a lot of times i just genuinely cant stop myself. and i told them ill eat it all if they dont, but they still be getting donuts and a chip ahoys. ugh.

i also havent been doing much inner work on my eating disorder. i rly think i need a specialist to help me navigate through it and the trauma that i have to unpack with it. because when i was looking into and reflecting on it i started getting like visions from my childhood traumas and i dont know how to make sense of it.

do you guys think dissociation plays a role in BED?

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this gonna be long...

so i go on a very niche, almost dead chat site for many years. ive always gone on chat sites since i was in middle school, and theres one in particular ive always been drawn to. ive been a "regular" (thats what they say for ppl that log in consistently) since probably 2021. before that i was on and off, but for some reason i became addicted to talking to these people.

most of the people that go on there seem to range from neets to people bored at their jobs. we all come from different countries and cultures. lot of them dont have support or friends. sometimes they come from horrible circumstances.or theyre very mentally ill. sometimes just normal people. but overall its just people living their life. it seems the age range there is about 20s to 30s, some are older. and we all go on and just chat. talk about our lives, perspectives, troll or ragebait, just normal chatsite/internet stuff. you talk to the same people every day. normally its chill, and then drama pops up. sometimes its really bad. and some people on there are on 24/7.

theres one dude in particular that i talk to very often, we even vc maybe a couple times a month and we message each other on discord pretty often. i get along with him pretty well because i find him to be pretty insightful and interesting to talk to, even though i really dont agree with some of perspectives and lifestyle choices. even find it to be very loser behavior, but i still accept and consider him an internet friend. and we vc for hours. like sometimes even 6 hours. i do it mostly because im bored at work (i work the nightshift). but i also vc with in my spare time. i dont think hes a particularly a good person, but i dont think hes bad either. i find him to be very human.

one of the last times we done a vc, he had a total breakdown. crying and sobbing about the drama he had on that site over a year ago. he had e-dated this one person and had a really bad falling out with them. he had so much resentment and hate for this person, that he kept going on the site despite being cyberbullied or ignored by many people. but new people came in and it was forgotten, somewhat. then ended up e-dating another person and then had another bad falling out with them. but anyway, i guess he recently talked to the first girl there he e-dated who he has resentment for and discussed the things that happened a year ago which caused him to have that breakdown. and he asked me to vc later that night.

i just let him have his moment. i felt sad for him. i talked about it with him, let him cry. but i also had mixed feelings about because we are both in our late 20s. i somewhat wondered if i should tell im not the person he can emotionally dump this on, but at the same time i could really sense some of the pain he was going through and thought he needed a friend to talk to. but yeah.

so anyway, i told my therapist this and what she said shook me to my core.

i am in a relationship with a good man in his 30s. i really love him. i want a future with him. there are some issues where some of my needs arent being met, like quality time, but i understand hes very career focused. i admire that about him.

i talk to my boyfriend about my internet stuff. i even showed him the site, that i even gatekeep from my best friends. i also show him some of discord servers i am in with my internet friends. he doesnt like them much. he even read some of the stuff they were saying and he was like "who are these freaks?!" (lol). but yeah. i also told him about my internet friend's mental breakdown and tell him sometimes what i talk about with him.

however my therapist.... she implied to me today that my internet friendship is sus. when i told her about the breakdown stuff and my connections on there, she asked what my boyfriend felt about it. she said that it seems that internet friend is most likely codependent to me on some level. she didnt say it, but it felt like she was implying that this is problematic and im emotionally cheating. and this confused me so much because i really see this guy as a friend.

so i told my boyfriend about this to see how he truly felt about it. and he said he doesnt mind. but i also didnt mention that i spend hours vcing with this person and i talk about a lot of stuff, some stuff is very vulnerable. but isnt that normal for a friend?? and i believe my internet friend feels the same about it. i think next time i talk to my bf in person, i will go in full detail about this, because i worry now that this might bother him if he knows the entire extent. and i dont want to potentially cross any boundaries with him. i value him above most things.

but yea, would this bother you? if your partner is chronically online talking to people on a weird chat site and have a particularly close friendship with someone on there?

do you guys have any thoughts on this situation?

im currently trying to escape my current job which is a night shift janitor position. i am scared to get a new job because i have worked at my current one for 8 years and its daunting to me to do something new and outside my comfort level.

i had gone to a job fair and hit it off with these ladies from a special education school and they offered me an interview which is this thursday. i looked at the indeed employee reviews and it was a 2.8 with mixed reviews, but most said it was rewarding. i have a good feeling about it though for some reason. so i just want to know others experiences with this job and how they feel about it. i feel really scared to go into a new job and hate it. i just need to know if this is for me.

so i got an interview on thursday oh boy. im trying to escape my current job so i went to a job fair last week and hit it off with these people who are from a special education school. they told me they wanted to set up an interview so i gave them my resume and they emailed me and we got it set up!!

however tho, im a janitor with just some college and i have absolutely no idea what a paraprofessional is. i guess its a teachers aid kinda? i have no idea what responsibilities id have or anything. well anyway, hope im not getting too ahead of myself but i do think it would be nice to make a positive impact on a community and i have good feelings about it.

so any tips? any warnings? and if i do get this job, will it help me long term?

maybe because i(28F) grew up in a household of only women, have traumatizing experiences with a lot of men ive known, and i never had deep bonds with my male friends, but idk i just really feel i dont hit it off with men at all. and i really dont know why. and it seems every time i hear a man out, and i come from a genuine place of wanting to get to know them, they always say things that always catches me off guard or i find very disagreeable. sometimes i find wack or scary. or i find them less interesting to talk to than i would find talking to a woman or someone who is not cis male.

even in my sex/romantic life it just seems i cant find any dude to match my energy or share similar values. and a lot of the times because they wont match my energy, i match theirs and its boring and unfulfilling to me. a lot times it feels i have to keep quiet in my opinions and tone down my personality to be likable to the dudes ive talked to :/ even the man im with had told me to not to talk about kpop or yaoi in front of his friends which is like damn. idk. is something like wrong with me? why dont i get along with men?

i have no issue getting along with most women. women are easier for me to talk to and get to know. i never feel i have to downplay myself around them. i dunno.

i really need help. im 28. i was suicidal for most my life and it wasnt until a few years ago i started recovering. i did poorly in highschool, barely graduated with 1.6 gpa. i did get an art scholarship for a community college, but bc of mental health i did poorly the first couple semesters and dropped out for a year, then went back and did A LOT better but ended up dropping out again. i majored in fine arts. i was not ready for college at all during that time.

Now I'm at a point in my life where i am desperate to change my job (been a night shift janitor for 8/9 years) and get a career where i can sustain myself. idk what to do tho. the only thing im good at is art and writing. i cant be in loud places bc i cant hear over crowds. i tried working at a doggy daycare but couldn't hear anything so animal shelters and stuff is out the question. i also dont want to be miserable at a job anymore but why does that feel like im asking for too much?? i would love to find something i can feel passionate and find meaning over but ik thats probably not realistic, especially with no degree or qualifications.

what can i do? how do i find direction? i want to go back to school and find a job thats at least day shift, but i have absolutely no idea what to do career wise or where to put my focus at.

going to a job fair today and worried. i have never been to one. i dont know what to expect. and i dont know how to present myself and make myself seem desirable to an employer in such an environment. not sure if that filter fits honestly. may i have advice or tips? i have crappy anxiety that makes me sweat profusely and I get overstimulated easily and cant hear over loud background noise. how do you not do that?

been a long time since i posted here. but once again i am noncompliant on my medications. i miss doses and there is inconsistency. i saw my therapist today and she told me that i am speaking erratically and my actions lately have been done out of impulsivity and defiance. and so she believes i am manic. it all started when i moved back in with my parents. its so annoying. its so embarrassing.

last time i went off my meds even my bf knew. when im asked hows been taking meds and they know... i feel a sense of dread and something bad is about to happen. i really thought my therapist was gonna send me to the mental hospital for a sec and i got scared.

so, i want to get more into witchcraft. something i am interested in is candle burning and interpreting it. can someone tell me more info on it? where to start? books to read? and possibly your experiences with it? and tips on interpretation?