I feel alone
Hi.. I'm an 18 year old Male. Started first year of B. Tech this year.
I apologise in adv if this post feels too long.
Ghar me mummy aur papa me bich me ladhai jhagde hote hai with respect to in laws, won't get into it but I'll just say I don't like my dad's side grandparents for how they treated my mom.
Very recently I got admission into NMIT Bangalore. I was very happy, later my mom told me that her mom, my grandma, who btw very recently recovered from a stroke, had made 21 laddus or smth similar and had taken up a fasting schedule. As soon as I found out after the admission day, I prayed to a god I truly trust in to help her recover faster.
I was told today by my mom that I am selfish for not calling her and talking to her, thanking her. For not telling my cousin brother who had taken time out of his schedule to find colleges for me in Maharashtra (I had given MHT CET as well).
Sach yeh hai ki I know I am selfish. In that selfishness and happiness of admission that day I did not call them at all, and didn't call them for more than a week. Aaj baat ki unse.
I am selfish, I know that. Lekin I care. I find it hard to express that. I'm not as emotionally deep of a person as my mom is. She thinks I'm lying when I told her I prayed to God for her recovery and that it has no value cause I didn't call her or any of the people who worked hard from Maharashtra for me.
I wish my parents had the financial backing to send me off to the hostel. I feel alone, I don't have any strong friends with whom I can share this, nor do I have any siblings. Aur nahi sunna chahta Mai. Aaj meri aunty (mummy ke side ki) ke saath iss bare me maine baat ki, woh bohot supportive thi and promised not to tell this to my mom.
Just wanted to rant. Sorry if it's too long. I wish I could find someone like a sibling. Please don't connect w me here kyunki mere paas utna time bhi nahi hai, with my engineering having begun. Toh mai kisika time waste nahi karna chahta.