u/MendelEatsDirt

I should feel guilty, but I'm so wrapped up in the emotions of what's going on it's been hard for me to consider all the bad things I'm doing.

I'm single. I've had a crush on this guy for a long time. We have had a very flirty relationship, but it never crossed the line, until recently. He was the one to make a move on me, and naturally I was over the moon with ecstasy. Finally, it felt like all my dreams were coming true.

But he has a girlfriend. They are not married, but they have been together for a few years. They live together. I always thought they were in a very serious committed relationship. But I guess I was wrong. I've met her, been out with the both of them a few times, so it's no secret that I know she's in the picture.

We've been meeting up and fooling around for about a month. In the back of my mind I know this is so wrong. But I can't stop entertaining this. I think it's because I've been single for so long and I've been crushing on this guy for a loooong time, like years. It's really intoxicating to finally be seeing him like this.

I should feel bad, I should feel so bad for his girlfriend, but I keep agreeing to see him. I have such a low self esteem, it feels like I need to keep doing this because this is the best I can do right now, even though it's wrong. I don't know.

Can someone knock some sense into me please.

I want to know if anyone else also feels this way towards their LO.

I have a pretty complicated relationship with my LO. They return my feelings, but not as intensely as I have feelings for them. They also have a partner they live with, but they flirt with me all of the time and our relationship has become physical.

I've been reflecting on the situation, and I've realized that I admire my LO so much because I want their life for myself. The other day, their partner posted some pictures of the two of them together, and I just thought to myself that my LO is so lucky to have someone who loves them, someone they can come home to every night, someone to share everything with. Obviously, that will never be me, even with our relationship being the way it is, I know my place and that I'm not the most important person to my LO.

But it's not just their partner, my LO also has a great job, they are a supervisor and get to oversee a team of people. I have always yearned for a position of power like that in my own career. They make good money, have a nice, clean place, a nice car, nice clothes. They just have all the finer things in life.

I just want everything they have. I want a partner to come home to, I want all the nice things they have, and their job. I wish I could have their life. Maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with them, because they are everything I want for myself but can never be. Anyone else feel this way towards their LO?