u/MessageSelfdestructs

Alley Cats seems to have a lot of people saying it's hilarious, but whenever you ask, "What's the funniest joke or scene?" they suddenly have nothing to say.

That's what I find strange compared with Ricky Gervais' older work. With The Office or Extras, you can immediately name several scenes, lines, or moments that genuinely crack you up.

I've noticed that most people who love Alley Cats don't seem particularly keen to actually name their favorite joke. If it's really that funny, shouldn't there be at least one moment you can point to?

I know this is going to sound dramatic, but after playing Marathon I just... don't think I can go back.

Every other extraction shooter suddenly feels like it's missing something. The movement? Unreal. The gunplay? Somehow every weapon feels handcrafted by a team of scientists who studied "fun" at the molecular level. The sound design has me instinctively checking corners in my own house.

People keep asking me, "What's so special about it?" I don't even know how to explain it. It's like Bungie reached into my brain, found the exact dopamine receptors responsible for enjoyment, and optimized them.

Friday I told myself I'd play for an hour. I looked up and it was somehow Sunday.

My smartwatch congratulated me on reaching a new cardio milestone despite the fact I hadn't left my chair.

The funniest part is seeing people say, "It won't have longevity." My brother in Christ, archaeologists are going to uncover copies of Marathon in 3,000 years and assume it was the dominant religion of our civilization.

The AI is so advanced I'm about 70% sure one of the enemies remembered me from a previous match and judged my positioning. I deserved it, honestly.

I haven't blinked since launch because I don't want to miss a single frame.

Some games are good. Some games are great. Marathon is what happens when the universe accidentally compiles perfection into executable code.

Anyway, gotta go. I just heard my fridge make the same ambient noise as a Marathon terminal and I think it's trying to give me loot. Wish me luck.