u/MessyMummyMode

My surgery is tomorrow and I’m starting to get nervous! 😭 I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone through this — especially what you wish you had known beforehand.

What helped you recover faster? What should I have ready at home? What should I absolutely NOT do during recovery? Any must-have products, foods, medications, or little things that made your recovery easier?
Also, what surprised you the most about recovery that nobody warned you about?

Please give me all the tips — even the little things you think are obvious! I’m trying to be as prepared as possible.

I’m so freaking tired

I feel like I’m never going to be truly happy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids more than anything, and they are the best part of my life. But I regret the person I married more and more every day.

The hardest part is that he wasn’t always like this. If he had been, I probably never would have married him. Now he barely helps around the house, and every single time I ask for help, he gets an attitude and says, “I’m not helping you.” I’ve tried talking to him calmly, I’ve cried, I’ve explained how overwhelmed I am, I’ve gotten angry… nothing changes. I’m so done with his attitude.

I wish I could just leave, but I’m a stay-at-home mom with two little kids. I have no friends or family in this country, no income of my own, and I feel completely trapped.
I’m just exhausted. I miss feeling like myself. I wish I could wake up and feel happy instead of feeling like I’m just surviving every day.

Has anyone else been in this position? Did things ever get better, or did you eventually leave? I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I feel completely overwhelmed right now and I don’t know how people do this without a village.

My 2-year-old has an ear infection and has been on antibiotics since Friday, but he’s still so miserable. He cries over everything—like if I even look at him the wrong way, he just loses it. I know he’s in pain and I feel so bad for him, but it’s nonstop and draining.

At the same time, I have a 10-month-old who is the definition of a FOMO baby. If she can’t see me, she cries immediately. So I basically have two babies crying for me all day long.

My husband is here with me, but both of them only want me. I’m the default parent, the comfort person, everything. So even when he tries to help, it doesn’t really take the pressure off because they just scream harder for me.

On top of that, I have so much to do around the house. I wish I could just deep clean and get everything out of the way, but it feels impossible. There are always toys all over the floor, things piling up, and it just adds to how overwhelmed I feel.

I don’t have family nearby, no real help, and I’m just exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I feel like I can’t even think straight anymore.
I love my kids more than anything, but right now this just feels like too much.