u/Mike_Danton

So I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old. Both girls. And they are, to put it bluntly, nightmares. Constant fighting (with each other and us), fussing, whining, crying, screaming. They are selfish and ungrateful. Every weekend I get literally physically ill from having to deal with them all day. Every holiday, birthday, special event gets ruined. I couldn’t even imagine taking them on a vacation.

I. Do. Not. Understand.

I do not understand what I am doing wrong. I have a literal phd in child development. I know how kids work, in theory. I know all about parenting approaches and try to do things right. Reinforce good behavior. Spend time with them. Validate feelings. I get fed up and yell sometimes, but I always apologize afterward.

I should add that my oldest is autistic so that explains some of her behaviors, but we’ve done therapies and I’ve read all the books to adapt my parenting to help her. Again, nothing works.

In short, I am a completely ineffective parent.

My husband just seems to think they are inherently bad and doesn’t even try with them.

I do not agree of course, but I still just don’t understand WHY. Why are they like this and what the hell am I doing wrong? Please help me because it is Saturday morning and it is already a shitshow around here, I’ve spent the morning crying and I’ve had ENOUGH.

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