u/MilbanksSpectre

Nearly fifteen years ago, the Fat Duck was my first truly fine dining experience. I went with my parents having claimed victory in a far flung bet we made five years before that. It was exceptional. A great variety of dishes and experiences, at a kitchen pushing the culinary boundaries of its time, driven by one of the truly creative chefs of the past fifty years.

Having now eaten at quite a few more fine restaurants, I can also remember a meal that was unlike any of the others. So I start to plot a return to TFD, out of nostalgia, and out of hope.

Fast forward to my dinner, and I can't say I was anything but disappointed. Naturally, some of the dishes are almost celebrities themselves so there were some repeats. But while last time these celebrity dishes were surrounded by other innovative ideas, here the menu felt very sparse.

I arrive, my dining partner was running a little late because she trusted AI's hallucination of the train system a little too much, and am met with a magnifying glass lying on the table. I assume that there is something hidden that I can only see with the glass. There is not. I guess it will be for later. It is not. It is an empty prop. Chekhov would like a word.

My guest arrives, and we have some sparkling water, and soon start our meal. First is a nitro-poached aperitif. I go for Aperol. It is egg yolk, a dash of flavour, and a splash of magic, frozen in liquid nitrogen. A fun way to begin, as it was 15 years ago. Next is a beetroot and horseradish crisp. Again, a great way to enliven my pallet, as it was 15 years ago. We have this with a glass of Gusbourne ESW, which we really enjoyed.

Next is the first proper course, 'Tonic of Botanicals', which is a savoury sorbet with herbs, a herbaceous sauce, and Jerusalem artichokes. It is a light and pleasant way to start. With this course comes a martini, which was actually the martini I have enjoyed the most to my life (though I do not typically enjoy this drink). Overall, a pleasant and light beginning.

Between courses - though listed on the menu as a course in itself - is the hot and cold tea. This is a fun course, but while drinking it I do wonder if it is actually delicious. I am still not sure. I am sure it is not really a course.

We have the discovery wine pairing, which begins with the next course and a glass of Laurent-Perrier Grand Siècle (pictures of all but one wine are at the end). The champagne is very pleasant, crisper than the Gusbourne (which we preferred, in isolation at least), and it paired well with the rich savoury custard and the 'full English' cereal that is poured on top. However, I did not really like this course. The custard was fine, quite savoury, but the cereal just tasted like those bacon crisps that I didn't like as a child. I thought that this was not delicious, and a mere novelty.

Next up are two savoury ice-creams. Well, a Waldorf salad popsicle then a Crab Bisque 99. The popsicle was fine, but a bit bland. The Bisque was divisive, I liked it very much, my partner did not. But that is part of the parcel with the Fat Duck. By now, I count 4 savoury ice creams/sorbets/aperitif/popsicles with only a custard and a crisp beetroot in between. Even though it was a warm day - just over 25 degrees if I remember correctly - it was not that hot, and the restaurant had excellent air conditioning (if anything, I was too cold). I did not need that many savoury frozen dishes, more or less in a row. None of them feel very substantial, and none that delicious.

That said, from the Tonic until the Ice Creams, these were courses I did not have last time I was at TFD, and I was glad to have something new. But I was also glad to return to probably the most intense dish I have had in my life - the Sound of the Sea. It was paired with a Brazilian Sauvignon Blanc (neither of us cared for this wine, not pictured). The Sound of the Sea is one of TFD's most famous dishes: raw fish and seaweeds are paired with an anchovy-tapioca sand and a anchovy foam, all enjoyed while listening to the sounds of the seaside played on headphones (slightly louder than I remember, perhaps slightly too loud for me, perhaps I am getting old). What a dish, though as I said it is a very intense experience, but once every fifteen years, it is really a fun one to have.

Next up is 'Mock Turtle Soup', paired with a Blandy's 10 year Madeira. The soup is not served as such, but as a golden pocket watch that is encased in gold leaf to look like a watch, then dissolved in a tea pot, and poured over a vegetable jelly (swede and turnip, if I remember correctly) made to look like an egg, which is surrounded with bits of beef tongue, parsley, and perhaps more turnip. Alongside it are some 'toast' sandwiches, with bone marrow and truffle. Now this course is nice, and it is definitely fun. But again, is it really a course? Is it delicious? For me, it seemed more a novelty, especially the 'toast' sandwiches which were just not sumptious enough for a dish that has been on a 3 star menu for 20 years or so.

The next listed course is 'Bread and Butter'. I expect a lot of this. Bread is not always listed as a course in a 3* restaurant, and when it is, this promises something special. Perhaps it is even an opportunity to use the magnifying glass in some clever and unexpected way. It is neither special, nor does the magnifying glass help. The bread is not made in house, but bought in half baked (our waiter tells us, when asked). It is bad. The crust is hard, as if it were baked for the second time in the restaurant then kept warm, and the white is just soft, without much flavour, and with even less chew. The butter is unmemorable.

But the bread is just the most intense expression of a series of courses that have - apart from the sound of the sea - not really felt like proper courses. There are no proteins to speak of, and few vegetables either. It is mostly just liquids. Well, a tea, broth served in a teapot, and various frozen liquids, all paired with wine or a gratuitous cocktail. But where is my food?

Anyway, ask and ye shall receive. The next course is definitely a course. At the start, we were asked to choose between lamb and turbot. We both went for Lamb: A Lamb chop with turnip, some slow cooked lamb, and a lamb jus, served alongside a lamb jelly with a clam topping. Neither of us like the jelly, but we both enjoyed the lamb. But it was not really an exceptional plate of food, neither was it memorably delicious nor innovative - I have eaten at lots of 1* restaurants that could have served that main course. It is paired with an Etna Rosso, which we greatly enjoyed - I told the Sommelier this twice in the hope of getting a little extra once. was finished, he did not oblige (though, to be fair, I did have more than enough liquid during the dinner).

Next on is the first of two desserts, a strawberry dish ('Blumenthal Summer Time'), with some beautiful strawberries, an ice cream, and a pistachio crumb, served alongside a pistachio brûlée. The main dessert was excellent, the pistachio brûlée raised it even higher. It was paired with a typical, though delicious, Champenois. This all worked very well.

The final course was 'Counting Sheep'. This began with essentially a cup of Horlicks (which did not exceed my memory of Horlicks), then there was a meringue based dessert placed on a floating pillow in the middle of the table (pictured) and a plate of dairy based desserts with various fillings. I upgraded my pairing to a glass of Chateau Yquem, which I have always wanted to try, and greatly enjoyed. But the dessert itself was not very enjoyable - it was quite bland and just seemed utterly pointless to me (like the magnifying glass, and the Heston Eye Mask we are given with it).

Next up, we had some petit fours, we ate the queen of hearts and brought the rest home (they were actually fun and delicious - enjoyed a couple of days later) and received a hot drink on the house, I had a decaf espresso, which was fine.

Overall, the meal was disappointed. Most of all, it was not really what was there that was bad, but what was lacking. It seemed like there were essentially two savoury courses (Sound of the Sea and Lamb) and two desserts. Then there were a lot of courses that were little more than snacks, or simply even drinks. And none of these were even that delicious. Most of all, I see little reason to serve 2 jellies (with the 'cereal' and the lamb), 4 frozen savoury dishes, and two 'teas'. Where are the vegetables? Where are the proteins? Why is it Lamb or Turbot, and not both (if the choice had been offered at the time, I would have asked if we can have both)? Both desserts also came with ice creams, but this seems more forgivable.

To make the point clearer, I thought I would write a comparison of the courses that I had all those years ago. In bold are what I would call 'substantial courses', and in italics are exact repeat courses.

To

2012:

1. Nitro-poached aperitif

2. Beetroot and Horseradish crisp

3.  Red cabbage gazpacho

4. The Sound of Sea

5. Mock Turtle Soup

6. Snail Porridge

7.  Foie Gras with Crab

8. Walk in the Woods

9.  Salmon poached in Liquorice

(Bread)

10.  Powered Duck

11.  Hot and Cold Tea

12.  Strawberry Dessert (slightly different to BST)

13.  Black Forest Gateau

14.  Optional cheese course

15.  Whiskey Wine Gums

16.  Sweet Shop

2026:

1. Nitro-poached aperitif

2. Beetroot and Horseradish crisp

3. Tonic of Botanicals

4. Hot and Cold Tea

5. Bacon and Egg Cereal

6. Waldorf Popsicle

7. Crab Bisque 99

8. Sound of the Sea

9. Mock Turtle Soup

(Bread)

10. Salt Marsh Lamb

11. B.S.T

12. Counting Sheep

13. Sweet Shop

Essentially, my experience at the Fat Duck went from a 16 'course' meal with 8 proper courses (the optional cheese course, from a trolley, a really classical and idealised cheese course, was very substantial) in 2012, to a 13 course meal with 4 proper courses this year. There were also more accompaniments to the 2012 meal, with, for instance, some mashed potatoes and a duck bon bon with the duck, and asparagus with the salmon. I was totally full up by the end of the first time I went, but I did not eat a regrettable amount of food (unlike the regrettably lacklustre dinner I had this year), especially since I had much less to drink, having then shared 'only' 2 bottles of wine between 3, rather than done a full pairing with a glass of ESW to begin and a martini thrown in to boot. Speaking of the wine pairing, I have more than once complained to my wife that a wine pairing might give you a sparkling wine, then five whites, a red, and a dessert wine, which can be a little repetitive with all those whites, that can even blend into one another in the memory, at least. But no wine pairing needs three sweet wines, even if it was a less sweet madeira than your typical. Indeed, that there were so many sweet wines almost points to the fact that there were so few substantial courses that even needed a pairing - I don't think that both desserts needed one, and the mock turtle soup certainly didn't need another liquid to go with it.

Many of the courses which originally felt like interludes, snacks, or experiments, had become almost the entire meal. When these kinds of courses were sprinkled amid a host of 'proper' courses they felt fun and whimsical. When they were basically the entire meal it felt like a gimmick. It is fun to ask questions during dinner, it is not fun to want to ask where your dinner is. I regret not saying something about this to the staff, but given my company it was not appropriate for me to do so. The 2012 meal lives in my memory as one of the greatest meals of my life, but the 2026 was perhaps the most disappointing, thus far at least. To drill this home, TFD cost £175 in 2012, and £365 in 2026. Google tells me that the 2012 amount would be £275 now, so that seems like a 30% price increase for significantly less food, and seemingly not much innovation either.

Anyway, to return to the magnifying glass that was placed without any clear purpose on my table, perhaps it was a comment that I would have to look harder if I wanted to find my meal. It did not help.