How do I know I am ace as a virgin?
Hello👋
I recently got in a romantic relationship with my bestfriend of seven years. At first everything was doing great but then he started talking about kissing and having sex, and I have to admit I' not very enchabted by the thought of that. Don't get me wrong, I really like him. I was the one asking him out after having a massive crush on him for years but for some reasons I can't really imagine myself doing anything like that with him...
I'll be frank; I'm a complete virgin. I never even kissed anyone. So I'm thinkin maybe I just am a little scared to do all these things for the first time, which must be normal, but a few weeks ago I've read a fanfiction in which the main character turned out to be asexual, and I do relate to him a lot...
To be honest it was the first time I ever heard of asexuality, as I never really took the time to understand differents sexualities. I like both girls and boy, including trans people so yeah. But that's actually one of the main 'effect' from being ace...At least from what I read. After finishing the fic I started reading a few forums, always about asexuality and most them said that not carring at all about your partner's look or genre is one thing that make you ace...However I also read that ace people still can enjoy having sex (?) That's why I'm bit confused. To be honest I don't think I'd like doing it.
I do am invested in other's people romantic life, including sexual life, for exemple when I read a book, watch a movie or sum I'm happy when they get intimate at some point and I don't mind reading smut or stuff like that (as long as it is part of a love story, not just porn) but imagining myseld doing all that, even just kissing seems weird to me. Also I never really experienced sexual attraction toward anyone...I do think some people look good or stuff like that but as I said earlier I don't care that much about people's look...If i think someone looks nice it generally is because I like their clothings style and aestetic more than I might like some other person's one, but their physic itself never play an important role to me...
So, yeah. I'm just a bit lost rn, I don't know what to think. Also, to be fair with you I'm kinda scared of the truth. If I do am asexual idk how to say it to my boyfriend without offending him...I understand it could be offending to be told from your partner that they can't imagine themselve being intimate with you...And I don't want him to break up with me, I'd lose my boyfriend, sure but also my bestfriend of seven whole years...This is complicated. He's coming back in town soon and will probably try to make a move on me and I don't want to force myself into that...