Unsupportive husband while I am dealing with suicidal brother
I don't know where to start. This might be a long post sorry I advance and thanks for reading. My mind is so scattered I don't know what to do anymore.
My mentally unstable brother started a huge drama in my family, he announced he is jobless and about to be homeless and asked for help. But because he is unstable he has been threatening to kill himself, he ended up two times in psych ward, it has been incredibly hard to deal with this situation especially because he mostly only contacts with me and I'm trying to help him out and I live too far from him and my family. I've been loosing my shit. I had one mental breakdown where I just screamed and threw things around - and that was when he wrote a suicidal letter and did not answer his phone afterwards. So naturally I lost it. Then had panic attack.
The worst part is my husband in this situation. Yes I understand nobody wants to see their wife loosing her shit and screaming, but given the circumstances isn't it understandable? I have since calmed down and started my first therapy. I told my husband that I'm sorry but that he needs to understand what am I going through. He expressed himself that he does not want to be part of it that it will ruin our marriage. So I tried not talking much about it but it's a constant worry on my mind. Then a week later I tried to call my brother and he didn't answer. The panic was back I imagined milion scenarios in my head. When I said this to my husband he got angry why am I trying to call him I know how it will end up blabla. But I cannot control I am terrified for him. So my husband just left. Didn't want to deal with my emotions.
The next day I sat him down to explain that all I ask from him is to listen, hold me, give me a hug when I have a breakdown... I MEAN THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM! I am giving you tutorial of how to handle me. The conversation didn't even end, he got enough of it, changed the subject and asked me to give him his money (we just sold a business and I had all the money). So I told him that what I am asking is non negotiable that I cannot fake my emotions just so he feels comfortable, that I am allowed to have a breakdown in my space if I needed to, and if he cannot support me during my hard times I wont be around for the fun times only. That is called a roommate, a lover maybe but not a life partner.
I am going to my home country in a week or so, so he won't be seeing my drama
I will be away for couple of months. But I really think this is the end. Watching the person I thought it was my soulmate for 11 years having absolutely no compassion for me it's breaking my heart, it's so heavy I think my heart will burst..
So now he added one more problem for me to worry about. I am absolutely shattered.
I don't even know what is the question here. What do I do? I tried explaining I tried communicating I tried everything. Begging someone to simply hold you during these times... I deserve more. I overheard him saying that I was Hysterical. I sound like a crazy woman in his story. And this is coming from a guy who gets angry and shouts when he cannot unlock the door.
I can easily leave him. I am independent financially, we have no kids no mortgage. Only few animals but I'm keeping my dog, and he knows it.
Just in the middle of dealing with all this shit I cannot think about divorce now. So I tols him we will figure it out in couple of months when I'm back.