I have a difficult decision to make….
I’m (F20) a college student, and I just finished my second year of university. I commuted to University A for a year and a half. Then, I transfered to Christian University B in another state for a semester. Im trying to make the wisest decision…
1 . Stay at University B
I can stay but the problem is the university is super unorganized. For example, they had me in the wrong academic year for a while and still have not completely figured out my credit situation. The school also has very strict Christian rules like curfew at 1 am, and no jewelry etc. My family has a legacy at this university. So, my parents want me to stay at this university. However, the school is in shambles and many people don’t like the new president and administration at the university.
My parents will only pay my tuition if I stay at this university. But I’m not completely 100% sure if they will. They told me they would before I attended the school last semester. I asked them multiple times and they reassured me that they would pay my tuition. They then kinda changed their minds at the beginning of the semester. They told me I should have applied for scholarships and that they are not going to pay my tuition. So, I need to use loans. This university is private and more expensive than universities in my state. My parents got really angry at me too. I called my parents crying one day because felt lonely at first and overwhelmed and then they payed my tution only after I was struggling and felt overwhelmed. I understand their perspective but wish that they upfront and told me their perspective instead of giving me false confidence. I know my parents can afford to pay my tuition and they pay a lot of money for my younger siblings to go to private Christian school. This leaves me not 100% sure if they will pay my tuition next semester. Even though, they have once again told me that they will pay it.
I thought this decision would prevent me from going into more debt which is why I made this choice. Technically, I’m not 100% sure if my parents are going to change their minds next semester. Maybe if I apply to more scholarship this summer which I don’t mind doing. I don’t like that this university requires many classes that my previous public university in my state did not require. For instance, the university requires physical education, public speaking, and many Christian courses ofc etc. This to me just feels like I’m wasting extra time on extra classes. It does not feel like an efficient way to get my degrees. I also made really cool friends and socially had an amazing experience. The financial and social aspect are the main reasons I am considering staying.
- Go back to University A
I could go back to university A. I went to this university previously before transferring universities. I am very shy. University B gave me a college friend group. At university A, I only rlly have 3 friends in total back home, and I don’t rlly have a friend group. I was commuting from university from home, and I am the oldest sibling. My parents forced me to do a lot for my siblings. I was driving 2 hours in total almost everyday to bring them to and from school. I was also expected to bring my siblings to their orthodontist appointments and extracurricular activities. I live 30-40 minutes from my college, so it was super difficult to make friends and spend time on campus. I worked on campus too but it was difficult to work as many hours as I wanted to. I eventually just had to leave that job. Plus parents told me not to work.
Ofc there are other ways where I just felt overwhelmed by my older sister duties and personal things. When I brought this to my parents, they told me that I don’t do enough to help them out, and I only do the least of what I could do to help them. I have never caused my parents much trouble growing up, and I always listened to them. I just wish they were more understanding. I do not want to experience this again.
Plus my parents are super religious and force me to go to a certain church. I am Christian too. I don’t feel engaged at that church because there isn’t rlly anyone my age mostly elderly individuals. I love older ppl but that church does not feel like the church for me and the services can be super long. This makes church feel super bothersome for me and like an overwhelming task.
My parents pressure me to go to the Christian University B and say it’s the only way I’m gonna have friends and enjoy college. They kinda put fear into me to make that decision.
- Go to University C
Not exactly sure what university C would be…I applied to couple universities in my state and got accepted. I am kinda indecisive but I can go to another university that is hours away from where I live. I’m just scared…what if don’t find a friend group what if parents are right and University B is the only way I’ll enjoy college. They say it’s the only way I’ll make good friends. I don’t wanna make a choice out of fear.
If you were in my shoes what would you do. Please give me some advice I’m kinda lost LOL 😭😭
Srry about the grammar I’m writing this rlly fast.