AITK for skipping my brother's wedding?
I have a younger brother , and we've always had a pretty decent relationship. We weren't best friends, but we never had any major fights either. Growing up, I was always the "responsible" sibling while he was more outgoing and social.
A few months ago, he got engaged, and everyone in the family was really excited. I assumed I'd be one of his groomsmen because he's literally my only sibling. Instead, he chose five of his college friends. It stung, but I figured maybe he just wanted his closest friends there, so I didn't say anything.
A few weeks later, during a family dinner, one of his friends jokingly asked me if I was "still upset about getting rejected from the groomsmen team." I laughed it off and said I wasn't. Then he said, "Well, your brother said having you there would've ruined the vibe because you're too serious and awkward around people."
Everyone at the table went silent.
I honestly thought he was joking, but my brother didn't deny it. He just said something like, "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just wanted people who'd match the energy."
I didn't argue at the dinner because our parents were there, but later I called him and asked if he really felt that way. He said yes, and that he didn't want to spend his wedding day worrying whether I'd "fit in" with his friends or participate in the dancing and drinking.
That really hurt. I've always shown up for him. I helped pay his coaching fees when he was preparing for exams because our parents were struggling financially at the time. I drove six hours to help him move cities when he got his first job. I've never asked for anything back.
I told him that if he genuinely saw me as someone who would "ruin the vibe" at his wedding, then I probably shouldn't attend at all. He called me dramatic and said I was making his wedding about myself.
Now my parents are furious with me. They say family is family, and that refusing to attend my own brother's wedding will create a permanent rift. My brother says I'm punishing him for being honest.
Some of my friends think I'm justified because it's not about being a groomsman, it's about learning that your own sibling is embarrassed by you. Others think I'm overreacting and should just attend as a guest.
So, am I the kameena?