r/AmItheKameena

I'm 27M from Kerala. Yesterday I attended the wedding of my friend whose elder brother was my senior in office & he was also a very close friend of mine. This brother got married 3 years back & since then, I've cautiously maintained a healthy gap to avoid any issues. Before his wedding, we were good friends... we used to hangout after office.. travel for office works together (NOT overnight journeys).
When his marriage was fixed... very generally I tried keeping a good relation with his wife also since I treated her as a new member in our wolfpack. We enjoyed his engagement, wedding and everything and went back to our own hustles.
Somewhere mid 2024, this girl (his wife) called up my parents and told them she does not like me talking to him... By then he had already resigned from our office and sooner our contact shrunk and both of us had come down to random "Happy onam" "Happy Christmas" texts or random once in 3-4 months hi-bye. But again, when she did this... I was so embarrassed in front of my parents and respectfully I cut the contact with her husband. Since 2024, I have only talked to him once or twice for some reason I don't even remember.
Meanwhile, they developed fresh issues between them as a couple and are separated unofficially with random fights and discussions in between.
Even though, I came to know about these from his sister, my friend and other common channels... i did not interfere or comment since this was a delicate issue..

Yesterday this girl again called my parents for attending my friend, his sisters' wedding. I was invited with 3 of our other friends. We attended and I did not even have lunch from there... I went for another event. I spent around 1 hr at the wedding before I left. This time she verbally abused me & my parents and this was uncalled for! I seriously regret attending the wedding now... But How to fix this!?
She is not hearing me out at all.. I have no intentions to have an extra marital affair with her husband. He is no "Shah Rukh Khan"! Now even if he was, I'm not behind a married man!

I have respectfully cut contact with him for her peace!!

Now, this has been on my head like I just hate this... She is threatening me to insult me at my place of work!!!!! I dont wanna face all these

Today I was in a park just walking and chilling around then a girl from my school recognized me at first I did not recognize her as it was a long time ago since I saw her. She was there with her boyfriend. I said hello to her and we talked for a few seconds then I asked for her number and she said "he is my boyfriend" to me. Then I said I just want to keep in touch with my old friends. Then her boyfriend said to her just to take his number. Then she handed over her phone to me to type my number in her phone. Then I typed my number and gave a missed call to my phone. Was it inappropriate for me to ask a girl for her number in front of her boyfriend? Aitah for it?

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend, “A” (26M), and I genuinely love him. My siblings and friends all adore him, and he’s honestly an amazing, supportive and respectful person.

The problem is his family, particularly his mother.

His family dynamic is extremely complicated. His parents are technically divorced but still together. His father apparently had a contract marriage with an American woman for citizenship, and at one point the children were divided between the parents. There has also been a lot of physical fighting within the family—his sister has hit him and their mother, and apparently even his elderly grandparents have been left to fend for themselves. There isn’t much closeness on either his maternal or paternal side.

My boyfriend is 26 but still has extremely strict rules at home. He isn’t really allowed to go places freely and has an early curfew around 8 PM.

A few months ago, his mother and I actually got along well. When I first met her, she was very friendly with me and even suggested we have tequila shots together. She also gave me a bag as a gift, which I used once.

Over time, however, her attitude toward me completely changed.

One day, she started shouting at me about how, because of me, her son couldn’t focus on his work. She said he has to work and questioned how he could work properly when I was around. She basically blamed me for distracting him and for the choices he was making.

Recently, my boyfriend and I snuck out at night. His mother caught him and, while doing so, went through his Snapchat messages with me. She then screenshotted a message where I had said something along the lines of, “Your mother wants us to break up.”

She apparently wanted to complain about me to an adult in my family and actually contacted them.

At that point, I decided I would rather clear the air than let everything be based on assumptions, so I went to speak to her with my siblings.

The conversation went horribly.

She accused me of influencing him and essentially blamed me for everything. She brought up various crimes and dangers that could happen and acted as though I was putting him at risk. She also said she had never seen me sober, which is simply not true—I barely drink.

She repeatedly compared me to her daughter, saying that her daughter doesn’t do the things I do. Meanwhile, from what my boyfriend has told me, his daughter has also secretly gone out at night when their parents were abroad, despite supposedly having the same restrictions.

My boyfriend defended me throughout the conversation. He repeatedly told his mother that I don’t force him to do anything, that these are his own choices, and that he is an adult making decisions for himself.

Eventually, I realized the conversation was going nowhere. I didn’t yell or insult her. I just said, “Okay, bye. Thank you,” and left.

My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive throughout all of this. He tells me that he knows I don’t control him, that he’ll make his own decisions, and that he wants to make me feel safe. We’ve talked about marriage eventually, and he says that if we do get married, he wants us to live separately from his family.

But I can’t shake the feeling that his mother genuinely wants us to break up.

And now there’s the bag she gave me when we were on good terms. I barely used it once, and after everything that’s happened, I honestly don’t even want to look at it. Part of me wants to return it, but I feel like doing that would just create another huge argument, so I’m probably going to put it away and leave it alone.

I genuinely love this man and don’t want to break up with him because of his family. At the same time, I’m worried that I’m underestimating how difficult this family situation could become if we eventually get married.

TL;DR: I’m 24F dating 26M. His mother initially liked me but now blames me for his choices, secretly read our private Snapchat messages, contacted someone in my family to complain about me, and shouted at me that I’m preventing her son from focusing on work. I went to speak to her with my siblings to clear the air, but the conversation became hostile, so I left rather than argue. My boyfriend strongly defends me and says he’ll set boundaries and live separately from his family if we marry. AITA for staying in the relationship, and should I return a bag his mother gave me before all this happened?

Tldr-i 17f in 12th grade confronted her teacher and made her apologise after she slut shamed me in front of everyone.disclaimer-i used ai for correcting the grammer and spellings

So for context, I’m the type of student who has never really been scolded, punished, or even made to stand up in class. It’s not like I’m some topper or perfect student . I just mind my own business ,a littleee above average and I’m very introverted, so think of me as that shy quiet kid in class. Even teachers have always behaved pretty gently with me.

This year we got a new teacher who already had a reputation for being moody and rude. For some reason, ever since I entered 12th grade, she started picking on me specifically. Maybe she found my quiet nature annoying, idk. She would ask me extremely difficult questions in class just to embarrass me when I couldn’t answer, and she constantly found faults in my notebook even when all my work was complete.

A few days ago, I got food poisoning and was absent for some time. When I came back, I had a huge amount of pending work, but I still completed almost 60 pages in one day. Mind you, she already knew I had been sick.

So when I gave her my notebook for checking, she literally tore up the pages and threw the entire notebook into the DUSTBIN because apparently my presentation “wasn’t proper” — things like missing sidelines and spacing after questions.

I was obviously furious and asked how she could do that, but she just told me to complete everything again properly. At that moment I couldn’t really say much because I’m not a confrontational person.

But while I was walking back to my seat, I heard her say under her breath: “Janti hu tum jaisi ladkiyo ko. Padhayi likhayi mei dhyan rehta nahi hai, bas fashion aur ladko pe rehta hai.”

Basically saying girls like me only care about fashion and boys instead of studies.

That honestly made no sense because I barely even talk to people ,scored 90 in 10th and 83 in 11th pcm subject😭

That’s when I snapped.

I turned around and asked why she thought it was okay to say something like that when she didn’t even know me personally. I told her that just because she was an authority figure didn’t mean she could say anything she wanted to students. That she was acting like a bully and taking out her ego on 17-year-olds at the big age of 45.

I even told her I was NOT rewriting all 60 pages again just for her ego and that I would rather print them out.

At this point my whole body was literally shaking because I’m not used to confronting anyone, but I was so angry that I just kept speaking.i felt tears in my eyes because I felt humiliated in front of everyone.

Soon other teachers and even the principal came because of the commotion. They kept trying to calm me down and saying I “couldn’t talk to a teacher like that,” but I explained the whole situation and said I wouldn’t move until she apologized.

Everyone was shocked because they had never seen me react like this before. Some teachers were even smiling 😭

In the end, the principal made her apologize to me, although very reluctantly, and she was later called into the principal’s office.

I’m pretty sure my practical marks are doomed now, my parents told me i shouldn't have done that she's still my teacher i should have respected her and stuff but idk.

My girlfriend who is hyper independent and rebellious was on a scooty wearing a crop top and jeans today. As with crop tops a part of her back was visible which she knows and is okay with.

A guy in his late twenties informed her in a not cat calling but rather a calm tone of the same to which she responded rudely and the guy was stunned.

When she told this to me in the evening. I asked her about the tone to which she replied the above. This prompted me to ask her what if the guy just wanted to be a gentleman and added that you were a little mean. Her response was along the lines of men shouldn't look and that a woman obviously knows what's revealing and what's not and was pissed at the fact that I asked this. So people of reddit. Guide me. If aitk please be blunt because I want to be objectively socially moral and correct

Update: Appreciate the comments and to all of you , my apologies. Will definitely keep in mind and be better.

I am getting married to my gf, and we are holding a bunch of rituals before the wedding. A lot of relatives from both sides of the family have come down.

My gf HATES her paternal grandfather, he is a patriarchal misogynist and my gf keeps asking much distance possible from him.

Today he came up to her and in front of everyone said "We need at least 3 kids from you, your drama is not acceptable"

The drama - Both of us are very sure that we do not want kids. She has been very clear on this with her family and it's a very touchy topic for her since she has been pressured a lot. The close relatives were specifically told not to comment on children.

I got pissed not only because he was putting her on the spot with a topic we specifically told him not to bring up, but because he did so in front of a huge crowd.

In a taunting way told I asked him "Kyu aapke kam pad gaye kya?" I told this in front of the same crowd.

He got visibly upset/embarrassed and left the function.

My parents went ballistic on me, saying that I can't disrespect an elder like that. I told them I don't who it is, if someone is making my partner uncomfortable or treating them with a lack of respect, I will give it to them.

So AITK?

I (23F) am from a middle class family. Both my parents have recently retired, so I’m the only earning member in the family (my younger brother will graduate after 2 years). They have a modest pension and savings.

I graduated from an NLU and have been working in a law firm for the last year. However, my plan has been to clear my student loan (which I have done) and join the Army (through CDS or JAG entries).

I had a conversation with my parents recently. They do not want me to quit my law firm job and join the Army. They feel that the law firm pay will be helpful for the family, and that I’d be able to better support my brother’s education. However, although the Army’s pay is not that high, it’s something that I’m passionate about and really motivated in pursuing.

They are also concerned about the safety of joining the Army and whether I’ll be in situations of risk (which to be frank is a possibility but I’ll be trained and will be doing my duty as required or ordered).

I told my parents that I will follow my career choices regardless of my ability to financially support them. And out of whatever I earn, I will try my best to support them. They got offended and think that I’m being an ungrateful.

I don’t mind supporting my parents financially. I will continue to do so in any way I can. But I feel it’s unreasonable of them to expect me to compromise on my career aspirations just for the sake of finances. They seem disappointed in me although I’ve done my best of being a good daughter who’d make them proud.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking , so I just want some opinions . Today my close friend had her tonsil surgery. I was with her at the hospital since yesterday basically the whole day before she was admitted and I’m with her again today for the surgery .

But today I saw a completely different side of her. She just came out of surgery , is still coming of the anesthesia and obviously in a lot of pain, but she has been really rude to me, shouting at me and even pushing me away. She ask for dustbin and I was searching but she got mad and started shouting at me and pinching me.

I know she’s in pain and probably isn’t completely herself right now. But I’m also a very emotional person and I’m taking things more personally Than I should . I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt me, especially after being with her for so much time and trying to help .

So what I’m asking is am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this even though she’s hurt. I just need an honest opinion on whether I’m too sensitive …

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheKameena/s/YaWW80i7jd

I understand why people are blaming me, and honestly, I agree that I've behaved badly in this relationship. I'm not trying to make myself the victim or excuse my behavior.

What I'm actually struggling with is how do I fix it?

I've realized that I constantly compare my boyfriend with other guys. Whenever I see another guy behaving differently, I start thinking, “Why doesn't my boyfriend treat me like that?” or I remember situations where I felt disrespected by him and use those things to justify being angry with him again.

At the same time, I know I've also disrespected his boundaries, distracted him from his studies, picked fights, and kept bringing up another male friend even after he told me it bothered him. I can see how exhausting that must be, especially when he's preparing for his last attempt.

For the past couple of months, our relationship has become extremely conflict-heavy. I used to pick fights with him throughout the day, and he would often be studying at night and sleeping in the morning, so our schedules were already difficult to manage. We would end up arguing repeatedly, and over time, both of us became emotionally exhausted.

What makes this difficult for me is that he wasn't always like this. He used to be a very calm and patient person, but after months of constant conflict, he became much more irritable and sometimes rude. He has told me that after going through this kind of situation for around six months, he feels that many people would have eventually left.

We’re both CA students. However, I never studied as consistently or seriously as I should have, whereas he was extremely focused on his preparation and genuinely wanted to succeed. He is also an only child, so I believe he feels a lot of pressure to build a successful career and make his family proud.

I understand that he had a lot of pressure, but at the same time, I wanted his attention and would sometimes start arguments when he was trying to study. Looking back, I can understand how exhausting and distracting that must have been for him.

During arguments, he has sometimes used profanity. I don't know whether I should consider this abusive or whether it was more a matter of him expressing frustration in a very rude and unhealthy way. For example, he once said, “Nhi baat krna bc , saab padh rhe hai aur tumhre natak aur drama nhi khtm ho rhe hai

There is another part that confuses me. Sometimes when I tell him, “Tum mere se aise nahi baat kar sakte,” he responds by saying that he had spent months trying to explain things to me calmly and asking me to understand, but he felt that I wasn't listening. His point is essentially, “Maine itne mahino tak pyaar se samjhaya aur request ki, lekin meri baat nahi suni gayi. Ab jab mujhe lagta hai ki meri baat ki koi value nahi hai, toh main pyaar se kyun baat karun?” I understand where that frustration comes from, although I also don't think frustration automatically makes rude or disrespectful communication healthy.

At the same time, I know I've made mistakes too. I have hurt him as well, and I don't want to present this as though everything is his fault. In fact, I’m trying to be as objective as possible because I know my own behaviour contributed significantly to the cycle we developed.

The biggest issue now is that I feel emotionally numb. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I don't love him anymore. Other times I wonder whether I’m simply emotionally exhausted after months of constant fighting.

I've thought about leaving, but then I remember how he used to be, everything we've been through, and everything he has done for me. Then I start questioning whether I’m giving up on the relationship because my feelings have genuinely changed, or because we have both become exhausted and disconnected after so much conflict.

Would you leave in this situation? After all these fights I have finally decided to go back to my studies as he said something that literally hurt my ego .

Do you think I’ve actually fallen out of love, or could this emotional numbness simply be the result of being exhausted by constant conflict? Can someone genuinely become much more irritable and different because of prolonged relationship stress, or is the fact that both of us have changed this much a sign that the relationship itself has become unhealthy?

I’d especially appreciate honest opinions that consider both sides rather than automatically assuming that either of us is the villain.

I have been in a very healthy relationship for a long time. Great guy! Thought I’ll marry him! The problem was his family was a little castist and I was very uncertain if I’ll ever be accepted and I don’t want to get into a family that hates me because I technically don’t have a dad!!
Anyways cut to there was another guy(has been my best friend for a long time), who told me all the rosy things on the planet on why someone would do anything to marry me and acted as if he is in love with me. Now because I was in a relationship I didn’t do anything with him physically at all.
So when my relationship was going through a very tough time, I kind of believed that my boyfriend is actually not putting his all in because someone is clearly saying that they would.
Turns out, this guy(best friend)never had any intention to be with me because same, his family was not okay and he has said this after I broke up with my boyfriend(I was still talking to him and haven’t completely completely cut him off).
I felt like a loser. This guy, the friend I was talking about, didn’t want a relationship with me either. And most importantly he was involved with another girl now while I was not in the same city and he never told me about things advancing with her. I was extremely broken not because he didn’t want me but because I was feeling like a fool. And now I ended up sleeping with him though I was feeling horrible about it. I didn’t it once twice thrice and I decided I don’t want to do this anymore and I wanted to start seeing some other people. And eventually when I actually started seeing other people, the entire script flipped. He started emotionally abusing me, talk about me behind my back, because I kissed a guy that I started seeing. I very clearly told him I don’t want to do anything with anymore. But when he used to get angry or upset, I would still give in because I just wasn’t ready to fight with him. What’s even surprising is, I used to go around telling him sorry because I didn’t want to pick anything wrong with him though I feel I have actually not wronged him. And I was feeling terrible in my life with no partner, with all the guilt, with all the things I have been keeping from my ex boyfriend who technically is still talking to me who is still trying to get back with me. But I still slept with this guy. Though I hated myself for it. I used to cry myself to sleep everytime I was alone. And this phase of stupidity lasted for 3months now I don’t talk to this guy anymore. And neither do I have the balls to confront him.
I couldn’t stay alive without telling everything that has happened with this friend to my ex bf. Because I realised there is no part of my body that has actually moved on. I decided I’ll come clean and then ask him if he can take me back. He has reacted extremely aggressively, obv understandable, thinks I have been sleeping with this friend through out, though I have not done anything for a year. The friend guy tried a hundred times to get physical with me. I should have drawn better boundaries but I never wanted to do anything and I didn’t.
I know I have done mistakes
I know how bad I feel for the lack of transparency
And I am now so suicidal. And the person who has been as absolute shit head is living the best life.
My ex bf hates me. He thinks I’m a horrible person. Invalidates everything I did. After I begged him to get back with me, he said he can just be physically involved with me because I don’t deserve to be a partner and I even accepted that just to be around him and keep him in my life. And he has blocked me after being physical with me twice. And now I feel I have been just used physically by everyone. I feel like I can’t move on. I have so much anger inside me. I can’t live anymore.
I feel like people like me should be dead

Hi I 23F have started meeting men via AM, I am born and brought up in Mumbai, went to a good school and later did my Masters from a good university in USA. However my family is from Rajkot and they have been showing me boys from Rajkot itself. I am open to meeting everyone that they show me as I believe after I meet them then only I might be able to get a better idea.

The problem is, I am now very comfortable in talking in English when it comes to communicating my thoughts, emotions and even any opinions. At home I do speak Gujarati but that is basically with my parents or grandparents on smaller topics like ‘what to make today for lunch’ or saying ‘I am going out’ nothing that needs a lot of thinking I would say?

Whenever any guy comes to see me, i automatically shift languages as I tend to start speaking English but realise need to talk in Gujarati as they are not very comfortable in that language? I do not do it in purpose but out of habit as all my cousins, friends my age talk in English only.

I feel like I do want a partner who is able speak and understand English as fluently as me hoping there would be no communication problems?

AITK? Am I asking for too much?

I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but there's a friend I used to hang out with in college. Due to several reasons, we drifted apart, and we aren't that close anymore. Weirdly, I've started to hate her to the point where my mood is instantly ruined whenever I see her or even get reminded of her existence. I just want to walk away and never see her again. The only reason I still hang out with her is because we are in the same friend group.

Idk why, I get happy seeing her struggle, even though I still try my best to help her if she needs it. But just thinking about her or being reminded that she exists makes me so fucking pissed. I have never felt this intense feeling especially without any reason.

It’s my husband’s first birthday after marriage everyone was celebrating his birthday for the first time in “years”cause it’s first birthday after his wedding

So it’s time to cut the cake and I was happily singing happy birthday then he cut his cake and I was standing next to him but the first bite goes to his “sister” (mother okay I can understand cause she gave him birth but she was absent at that time,but sister????) the second hand embarrassment I went through was insane…… ( his sister is like no matter who comes into our lives we are sister and brother first)

After everything is done I asked him privately why didn’t you think of me for first bite? I felt very ugly everyone would think that I would come second like I’m not your first priority ( indirectly you wouldn’t like me as much to put that first bite)

Then he was like I know that I love you we both knows how much we love , why should everyone know? Why should I showcase in front of everyone? Why would you think about others?
I was like then why showcase your sister and brother love in front of everyone? Why did your sister feelings come first? I want to know I’m I wrong here? And how to put it in a one good sentence to tell him I’m genuinely hurt here without making it all about Me?

My parents in their late 60s/early 70s are not tech savvy. Ex, still they can't switch between front and back camera angles on WhatsApp, despite showing them numerous times. Mom may do, but dad cannot at all. Even teaching him to take amoney out of ATM was hard. They stay in my hometown in MP, and I stay in Pune.

Both have bank accounts and they use them to withdraw pension and keep some saving. I manage all the utility/grocery payments online like electricity, broadband, recharges etc, and if they need something quickly, I ask them to call me and I order via Blinkit. Also, anything for Amazon/Flipkart, I ask them to add to the cart and I order it.

For any other payment, they still use cash which I think I is safest for them. With all the online frauds and scams, I prefer that they use cash and I have asked them that if the amount is more or if the person is not taking cash, they send me the QR Code via WhatsApp and I make the payment. (Teaching them to send a photo on WhatsApp was another challenge and they mastered it eventually). Or if they go with my sister/jiju, they pay and I transfer to them later.

My dad doesn't feel good about it and he is independent and wants to pay himself and does not rely on me. Also, he feels he disturbs me if I have to pay for something in the middle of office.

My point is that first of all, I want to pay for as many things as I want as I earn decent and don't want them to spend their money. Also, with the risk of online payment frauds, I knew if OTP based payment is enabled, then they may fall victim to it.

Only way for them to do online payment currently is via debit card and I taught him that, so dad carries it if he wants to pay online.

My sister says that it is better for them to have UPI enabled and dad agrees.

I am suggesting an alternate, that dad open a separate bank account, I keep small amount in it (< 50k) and setup Paytm Wallet and UPI on it. So the risk of scam is restricted to just that account but dad doesn't want to maintain a new account/ATM card as he is comfortable with his SBI account and wants UPI on it. But it is his primary account with savings/FD in it so I don't want to risk it.

So, AITK for not letting them use UPI/Online Payments and order Blinkit/Amazon themselves? Shall I take a leap of faith?

Hi you all

So i got married recently and im extremely happy and enjoying the so called honeymoon phase (touchwood)

Last month i was at my parents and while scrolling through my gallery to show my mum certain pictures she saw a photo of me with my ex. At first i just got panicked and said its an old photo but i had my wedding ring on and i was caught off guard to which i just told her the truth that i was out for a holiday with him. And obviously she asked if my husband knows and i said yes and it was all cool later

Now i have that equation with my mum where i can share anything with her but my husband is just very livid with it.

I have tried explaining it to him that its not a big deal even if she knows and i have her word that she wont be telling this to anyone which i know she wont because i mean i know my mum but he just doesnt seem to get it.

I know i shouldn’t have told her but its not that i told her on purpose or anything it just so happened in the moment but he idk is acting all hyper about it and blaming me constantly for it to a point where he would bring it up every effin hour on any random topic

Now am feeling guilty plus very irritated simultaneously

Now, please tell me AITK; as for some reason now because of me my mum knows this lil secret of ours

P.S. it was a school reunion….a group trip with 8 of us not a solo vacation with my ex

I (18F) just recently got my a-level grades. Here is some prefacing: Previously, I had gotten mostly 9s and a few 8s at GCSE, which is like an exam done in sophomore year at all A+, and i had also gotten all As at as-level, which is an exam at junior year and the highest grade you can get. In the uk, most people normally take 3 a-levels, but I had taken 4 and an EPQ. In the uk, there are also these things called degree apprenticeships, where you basically apply for a job and the company pays for your university, and you apply in your senior year. They have specific visa requirements which is why I asked my parents like 10 times if I qualified for it; spoiler alert >!I didn't!<

Prefacing aside, now i have always struggled with waking up on time. Whenever I had school i was okay, because of my internal clock and what not, but i never could get a good nights rest whenever i had school. This is why i would usually wake up later, around 9-11 am on the weekends. This pissed my parents off to no end because i have a little brother 10 years younger than me who wakes up at 7 am on the dot every day. I did too at that age, but its been so much harder when i began going to highschool. My parents have came into my room and woken me up at these times but i just couldn't stay awake unless i had school. This was the main reason why we argued, because they told me that the reason i wake up for school but not them is because I dont respect them.

Anyway, i have gotten good grades pretty much my entire life. Ive always felt that they put up with me because my grades were good and that they didnt send me to boarding school to India, where we're from, or anything because it would ruin my grades. Ive always felt like my grades were the main reason they could even stand me as their kid. Anyhow, in the uk, i would be considered an international student. This means that uni costs like 3 times as much as a british citizen. This is the main reason why my parents encouraged me to apply for the degree apprenticeships. So i applied for like 50 companies and managed to land 3 offers. These are notoriously competitive, even more competitive than getting into cambridge or oxford. I spent so much time doing this, just perfecting my applications or practicing my interviews that i didnt have as much time to study. In the end, about a month before my alevels i ended up losing all of my offers. I was devastated, because now i had wasted my time doing that instead of studying and i had alevels which would decide my university, my only option, next month. So i put everything into that month, but when the alevels arrived i couldn't handle it. I had a conditional offer at a very prestigious university, not cambridge or oxford and i needed A+,A+,A in my alevels to get in. I ended up getting AAB, but I managed to get into my university.

My parents made me promise to them that no one apart from me and them should know my real grades and i had agreed, because they seemed so ashamed of them. Now, my mum has been blaming me about my grades and when my dad jokingly said that I had only brains but not logic, she immeadiately snapped and said that I dont have brains either. Ive been feeling really antsy about the whole thing so I just ran up to my room and locked myself in. She kept calling after me but i kept the door shut and didnt respond. I started crying, just letting the years worth of built up stress just pour out. After my cry, I went down to do the dishes when she was on the phone with my uncle, her brother, and loudly complained to him that she does all of the housework, that i do nothing but leave a mess in the kitchen and that im lazy. I just had gotten so mad in the moment that i loudly yelled that I was going to tell everyone about my grades. She had put her phone down before, so i thought she had cut the call, but she hadnt. She lied to her side of the family that i had gotten A+A+A so she was mad at me when i said that. She started slapping me on my face twice, so i had held her arms down so she wouldnt do that. Then she told me to let go of her arms so she could beat me with a wooden spoon, she has done this before. I let her go, but blocked her way to the spoons. She started wailing loudly , then my dad came downstairs. He started yelling at me for waking up late and said that i didnt respect him or my mom or my brother because i couldnt wake up when they woke me up. They told me that i only cared for myself, which is why I only woke up early for school. I kept trying to reason with them, showing them that i kept trying to sleep early, had alarms to wake up early but they said that i was just making excuses. They said i was blackmailing them by saying i want to tell everyone about my grades. They said I was ruining my perfect little brother with my habits. Im just so tired. I just took everything they said, and kept reminding myself that at least I get to leave to uni in about a month.

Was I the asshole for not feeling guilty with myself or for not listening to them?

Edit: now i want to add some more information: i have never gone to the same school for more than 2 years. Because of my dads job, i had to constantly move between india and around the uk for my entire childhood, starting at nursery. each time i moved, i would struggle for friends and keeping up with the school work. by the first year i would have gotten the hang of it and by the second, when i actually had improved, i had to move. my parents have a huge history of constantly not letting me have my achievements. In year 6, I had gotten into this grammar school that was so difficult that no one else in my school had gotten in there since 10 years, without tuition, unlike the rest of my friends. immediatley after, we needed to go back to india and i missed that chance. At gcse i had gotten 7 9s and 3 8s, the second highest at my school, and i couldn't go to a better sixth form because they cant afford the train tickets, even though my dad makes 110k annually.

Lil context about me-
I am 25M, single and im a cop (in a state police).. I am on a pretty decently respectable post. The region where im posted is quite primitive and the crime rate is pretty low here, so we dont have a lot of work to do.

story starts here
so this one fine day i get notified by my senior that an officer has been transferred here. Lets call that officer X. X is female about the same age as me.. and she is an IPS officer. This was her punishment posting. I was given the responsibility to manage and help to help her accommodate and shift here. Since I was not a local, I lived in the government quarter. So i had fair connections with people around there, in terms of power as well as in social terms.

so the day comes, I bought a bouquet and me along with 2 others went to receive her from the nearest airport ( it was 4-5 hours away from our posting). that was the first time i saw her. That was literally the love at first site. NOTHING ELSE. I handed over the bouquet to her and we did all the formalities and it was just me and her, I was taking her to the govt quarters, where I also lived.

she was a nice person, always polite, helpful, her light brown eyes- I can just look at them forever. She had a charisma, she was like a magnet that attracted me.

*leap*
some time passes, a few months, we became quite good friends? i dont know if friends would be the right word.. she was extremely happy this one day. she tells me that her boyfriend was coming here for the week. I WAS DEVISTATED. I HAD NO IDEA SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND. BUT IT WAS TOO LONG TO UNLOVE HER.

well~ her bf comes, he was a sort of a guy for which every girl will fall for. handsome, tall, rich.
alright, so her bf and she were staying at her govt quarter ofc.. It was that one morning i had to meet her, to get her signatures on some important documents.. So I went to her quarter, It was basically a 1BHK flat, she takes longer than usual to open the door and i could sense some awkwardness.

She was wearing her bf's shirt without a bra- i could see it.. Her bf was sleeping on the couch, almost naked? and there were packets of condoms lying around. I HAD NEVER FELT THAT SORT OF EMOTIONS- RAGE, LOVE, ANGER, JEALOUSY AND IDK WHAT.
she looked awkward, i was awkward too . I sat and handed her the docs while her bf was giving me an eye. I knew he was as jealous of me as i was from him. He came and kissed her. I was so enraged, that I left abruptedly . I even gooned while seeing her pics. But i genuinly loved her.

THE FINAL DAY
ok so it was last week, when she was finally leaving.. I drove her to the airport, it is monsoon and it was raining heavily.. we sat in car for about 20 mins.. reflection on "us", she was feeling bitttersweet, i couldnt control and i just kissed her. She didnt engage in it but she didnt opposed it either. she just stared at me. with her light brown eyes. that was the last time i saw her. she still has bf. and i still love her.

I am confused , did i do the right thing, or did i not? Am I The Kameena??

i may or may not be a hygiene freak but i have made it extremely clear to my roommates that i like to keep my space as clean as possible. i don't personally climb into my bed while being dressed in outside clothes, unwashed hands and feet. and today i n my roommates were even having talks about how it upsets us when others climb into our beds without cleaning themselves first so i concluded that she must have clear understanding of boundaries n assumed she'd never violet mine.

In the evening we go out, she leaves for our room first, i stroll for half an hour longer outside, and then the moment i arrived in my room what I'm seeing is that she has very comfortably laid out her (previously worn) jeans on my BED, on my freshly changed bedsheet. and i started fuming so hard, internally. i said "abbey tune apne jeans mere bed pe kese rakh diya when you knewww" and then she began pleading guilty and n no. of sorries flew out of her mouth.

a few moments later when she brought it up again, i tried to brush it off as nothing n said "as long as you wash my sheet clean." It had in reality pissed me off so hard that i had discussed it w my mom, sis n friend before coming to bed n my third roommate who was only a witness to this, may or may not have eavesdropped, so she brought it up in front of that roommate again about smth like "are we horrible roommates to you," mind you i never said that 💀 i can be extremely mean, self centred idiot but I would never speak ill of anyone due to such juvenile isolated events. i might think poorly of them but may never say it out loud. altho i do feel so much off about that roommate rn bcoz i have a gut feeling she did it consciously bcoz there is noooooooo wayyyyyy. her n mine beds are placed at apropriate distances. i mean. I'm so hurt rn. why would she do it unprovoked. b itch.