u/Forsaken_Class677

I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but there's a friend I used to hang out with in college. Due to several reasons, we drifted apart, and we aren't that close anymore. Weirdly, I've started to hate her to the point where my mood is instantly ruined whenever I see her or even get reminded of her existence. I just want to walk away and never see her again. The only reason I still hang out with her is because we are in the same friend group.

Idk why, I get happy seeing her struggle, even though I still try my best to help her if she needs it. But just thinking about her or being reminded that she exists makes me so fucking pissed. I have never felt this intense feeling especially without any reason.

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So my college summer holidays almost ended they were around 2.5 months and cause of work my father wasn't able to plan any trips.

I started crying and made huge fuss how my holidays are over and we didn't even went to local tourist place. I started complaining my mom about it definitely knowing that it was not possible due to work.

My father finally made a trip plan to go to Rajasthan and all in the car since I was also going to my college to arrange a new hostel room even at this point the trip wasn't really final I could have cancelled it but I didn't.

After 2nd day in Rajasthan my mom started feeling shivers , eye pain and headache . We thought it was usual fatigue but her shivers increased and her fever sky rocketed in 3rd day in rajasthan, I begged my mom and dad to go to doctor atleast but none of them listen they are too f**king adamant. My father suggested to immediately leave from there but no my mom said by hook or crook she will not go until we go jaisalmer. Her condition was getting worse but they didn't go to hospital no matter how much i screamed or begged (her fever was probably around 104° + constant headache+ added stomach pain) .

Finally after we visited jaisalmer, we literally travelled around 800 km to Delhi.

Now she admitted for 7 days in hospital (in our home state ) she can't even talk at this point. And fever is not going down at all + constant headache. I really really wish I never said yes to this trip especially knowing how they handle serious situations. I can't help but replay incidents how I almost said no to trip when I reached hostel , I should have cancelled. I am feeling so much useless at this point I saw every thing folded in front of me and seeing everything getting worse .

Also want to add context she teaches in school and basically she gpt monsoon holidays since day 1 she didn't got 1 day of rest , she was telling me how she don't want to come trip cause she wanted to have atleast 1 day to herself but she never got one, she never 1 day for herself and infection is spreading in her body:(

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I always feel people here are having civic sense but they are not given a chance to show it , when ever I travel anywhere in himachal I always feel scarcity of dustbins and I feel sooo done with it.

I usually get lots of scolding for my mom and dad for carrying garbage to home cause what AM I supposed to do then? there is just not fucking way to dispose waste properly.

Even the vehicle which comes to pick of garbage pretty sure dumps all the waste somewhere .

Seeing dustbins is veryyy rare while in roads , many people blame tourists for garbage but what the hell they supposed to do too?