u/MinuteWerewolf8513

I'm turning 30 next month, and I've been struggling with a decision.

I recently came out of a breakup. I'm doing much better now and feel mostly healed, but I wouldn't say I'm 100% there yet.

I’ve generally had a decent dating pool with a good number of quality matches. But I haven’t really come across someone who feels this genuinely understanding, emotionally mature, and emotionally safe in the same way. Recently, I met someone who stands out in that sense. He feels kind, stable, and someone I could realistically see myself marrying.

The confusion is that, while I really value him, another part of me feels I should stay single for a while. I feel that if I take some time over the next year or two to focus on healing and personal growth, I could transform a lot as a person before settling down.

At the same time, I’m also a bit scared.

I worry that after 30, the dating pool might change in terms of quality or availability, or that I may not be considered as easily for the kind of relationship I want. That fear makes me wonder if I should move forward with something good that’s already in front of me instead of waiting. But emotionally, I still feel like I might need more time before I fully commit.

So I’d really love to hear from women who are 30+:

• Did you notice any change in the dating pool after turning 30?
• Was dating in your early 30s different from your mid- or late 30s?
• If you chose to wait instead of settling down, did you regret it or feel it was the right decision?
• Looking back, what advice would you give someone in my situation?

I’m especially looking for real experiences from women who have been through this phase.

I'm turning 30 next month, and I've been struggling with a decision.

I went through a breakup not too long ago. I'm in a much better place now and feel almost fully healed, but there's still a small part of me that's healing.

I've always gotten a decent number of quality marriage matches, and that's still the case now. Recently, I met someone who is genuinely kind, emotionally mature, respectful, and has all the qualities I'm looking for in a husband. He seems sincere about marriage, and I know it's not easy to find someone like him.

The dilemma is that, while I really like him, a part of me feels I should remain single for another year or two. Deep down, I feel that time on my own would help me fully heal from my breakup, build my confidence, and grow into a better version of myself before getting married.

At the same time, I'm scared that once I turn 30, the quality of my marriage prospects may decline or that I may not attract the same kind of men. That fear makes me wonder if I should move forward with this proposal now, even though my heart is telling me to wait.

For those of you who are already in your 30s, I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

1. Did the quality or quantity of your marriage matches change after turning 30?
2. Did you notice any difference between your early 30s and your mid- or late 30s?
3. If you chose to wait instead of marrying someone who seemed like a great match, do you regret it, or are you glad you waited?
4. Looking back, what advice would you give someone in my position?

I'm looking for real-life experiences, especially from women who have been through this themselves.