u/Miserable_Art7821

***Premise:*** When Hermione’s ninth book ‘Aeterna’ is not nominated for the Booker prize, she leaves her life of hermitude to campaign for her next book, ‘Nox’ until media-frenzy induced heartbreak threatens to end the tour early, forcing Hermione dig deep in her Gryffindor courage to chase the award she wants, and confidence she needs to love what’s good for her.

***Excerpt:***

*“Deletrius,” Hermione whispered again and again, erasing her face from each picture frame along the wall. Nausea boiled hot and acrid in her throat, and it took all of her control to force it back down. ‘Occlude, Hermione, clear your mind.’ She needed to complete this task.

Standing on the stairs behind the living room, she hid to occlude. She blocked out every sight, sound, and smell until there was nothing left. Only determination. They would be protected. Safe. Breathe in, breathe out. She pictured in her thoughts very clearly the image she needed to imbue. Wendell and Monica Wilkins. Not dentists, owners of a sweets shop in Australia. Child free. Protected. Safe. She must do this.

Hermione opened her eyes, now dull from occlusion. Slowly, she stepped silently into the room behind where her parents sat watching the telly. Do this. Her wand arm raised to the two people Hermione loved most. A detached voice whispered, “Obliviate.”

Hermione watched the magic flow from her hand, through her wand, and to their silhouettes. Australia. Child free. Safe. Australia. Child free. Safe.

Her palm warmed, her magic letting her know the deed was done, and Hermione stole from her own home. Her feet stepped one after the other until the apparition point, and she turned on the spot. Landing outside the wards of the Burrow, Hermione’s occlusion finally broke. She fell to her knees in the grass, and screamed.*

***Content Warnings:*** Depictions of PTSD/Substance Abuse/Narcissism Abuse/Bipolar Disorder

Looking for specific critique on showing vs telling, pacing, and making sure every character has interiority. Hopefully on a one chapter per week basis.

I haven’t Beta’d before, but am happy to give it a go!