Found a Taylor and Travis shrine in a random book store. This man ain't shit, and the cover art creeps me out. I truly thought she gave up and settled with him, but as time goes on I've discovered she got who she deserves.
I'm a twin mom, and a formula mom. It's easy to pass the formula off as being a result of twins, but it's not. I never wanted to breastfeed. I was a victim of childhood SA, which made me feel very conflicted about other people touching my body. It just always felt wrong in just about every circumstance. I tried therapy before the twins were born, tried reframing my thinking, nothing came of it before they were born. And when they were born, I did try to pump for them. I tried and tried but not only did I hate every second of it, it gave me no time to enjoy my babies.
For some women their experience is very different, they may enjoy breastfeeding and the benefits it provided their family- I'm not one of them! Never did it, and my boys are just as obsessed with me as anybody else's babies. They're coming up on their first birthday, and they're perfect. I'm just so glad I had formula as an option, because we survived the first year. They are healthy, they are nourished, and they have never known a mother who recoiled from their touch because of her own unresolved trauma.
They're about to age out of formula, but I'll always be grateful for the peace it gave us this first year. And I will never, ever, ever ask a proud new mom "are you breastfeeding?"
Not really a rant, my babies are 10 months old and things are getting so much better, but I needed to relay a unique mom guilt moment I run into often- the need to give them EQUAL comfort!! If I can find one short sleeve onesie and another long sleeve, I will spiral because I cannot have one twin too hot or one twin too cold. Currently I'm stuck on bedsheets- i have 2 clean sheets. One is a regular sheet fabric and the other is cotton. What if I put them on and the other one wants the cotton too? I refuse to put these sheets on until I find a pair. Anyways, looking forward to them being able to tell me their preferences, even though that'll open a whole other can of worms😂