So I've been struggling recently

Not in life. Life has actually been okay. But I have been drinking a lot more and I know I need to quit this increased intake or I'll be bed bound a week at a time like I used to be.

What helps me personally, is delving into stories about alcoholism. It makes me feel a bit more normal and it's always easier to focus on something else while you're recovering.

Does anyone have any specific movies or shows about alcoholics they enjoy? I know when I'm down real bad I like to watch the Shining. Shameless also comes to mind. I watched the Lizzie Borden show last week and the father was an alcoholic and was shaking when he woke. At the time it made me feel less alone and made me grateful I wasn't feeling like that.

I'm over here on the delirium tremmens Wiki, just reading. And feeling a sense of relief that I'm not going through that again.

I'm sorry. I'm just talking. Trying to avoid that Benadryl tonight but naturally I'm wired and exhausted at the same time. 😵‍💫

reddit.com
u/MissMagus — 14 days ago

Let's talk sleep

Lately I've been having to throw down 50 mg of diphenhydramine to sleep.

That's benadryl in case anyone didn't know.

Tonight I'm nearing 150mg and I know that ain't good. I'm tired, can't sleep, and my grandmother was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body and apparently popping benadryl helps cause that.

I plan on contacting a doctor this week to attempt to find a healthier sleep aid

I'm open to recommendations, and also if anyone else has a history with forcing sleep with DPH - I am all ears.

reddit.com
u/MissMagus — 15 days ago

Recoup day 💀

Two day bender to help my family get some stuff done. They needed to build a deck for this retreat they're doing, I didn't build the deck but I tried to take care of the small things that needed done while they worked on that.

BUT just to make it less annoying my brother and I drank pretty copiously. Next day I was shaking and I didn't sleep for SHIT that night. So I cracked one for breakfast and steadied myself. Proceeded to choke down like a 6 pack just so I could finish the tasks. Got my ass home. Collapsed in my bed.

Slept like ass last night too. So today I'm binge watching the new Lizzie Borden show (fuck Ryan Murphy, interested to see if this is decent or garbage like the previous two). I have a 6 pack of high life beside the bed if I start feeling too anxious or shakey again!

Anyone else not leaving their bed today? 🤣

u/MissMagus — 19 days ago

Woke up at 4am

I was smart enough to buy a 6 pack before I tapped out tonight. I drank a mere 3 beers two days ago and something came over me. It's like all my old habits said "you kept us quiet for too long"

I was mildly and comfortably tipsy - and when I went to go pick up food something in my brain switched. I also went and got a 6 pack of IPA and killed the whole thing in like less than 3 hours.

I spent all day yesterday throwing up and nursing myself back to health, only to what? Get fucked up again today?

My partner switched his work schedule and I'd be lying if it didn't change some shit in my current routine. I've been more depressed and clearly relying on booze to help. He came home at 10 and thankfully I fell asleep.

But now I'm awake and reaching for the beer next to my bed. Which I'm EXTREMELY grateful for. I am not spending another fucking day knee deep in vomit and ramen.

I am just so happy I'm not throwing up

Yesterday was miserable. I tried to be strong and didn't wanna taper down or anything like that. Which was pretty stupid ngl. After a few more sips I actually might be able to go back to sleep 😩 which wasn't even an option yesterday.

Jfc. If you can control yourself enough to taper down (or if you're sick enough) it genuinely does work wonders. I can't even believe I'm comfortable right now.

I watched Apocalypse Now yesterday just to feel something other than alcoholism. The main character was played by Martin Sheen and the intro scene is him actually hammered IRL punching a mirror. Highly recommend that as a comedown movie. Then he gets dragged to a shower against his will. Pretty relatable. The alcoholism part anyway. The rest of the film is bleak, but so is boozing.

I tried to fight my neighbor today. I'm sick of his fucking mosquitoes cause he doesn't keep his yard clean. I left a pretty angry note (after getting swarmed by mosquitoes again) and called the state and went over to finally confront him. Probably for the best he didn't answer the door cause I wanna deck the fucking dude. Hoarder, had a dog he doesn't care for, and gets a notice by the state to mow his lawn once a year after it gets too big. And my dumbass BOUGHT the house next to him.

The Magus Vs. Neighbor saga has begun.

reddit.com
u/MissMagus — 2 months ago

Monstera making multiple stems?

I took in a few super neglected monstera earlier this year - I put the biggest on a trellis and chopped and propped the others.

One of the plants I chopped now has 3 new shoots growing from it. Will they all continue to grow?? I thought one would take over as dominant but they all just keep goin'.

Also the giant 6 foot leggy gal I have is ALSO producing a new shoot at the base, and a new aerial root at the top. Will she keep growing from the primary plant? She hasn't grown or really done anything at all for 3 months - till now. I wasn't sure if she'd just be growing from the base from here on out...?

I'm confused lol.

These plants went like almost a whole year without much water or sunlight AT ALL (abandoned in an apartment) - so, it's interesting to see how they're rebounding. I'm very new to monstera and plants in general.

(Pics 2,3, and 4 are all the same 6ft plant, the first pic is the smaller one with 3 stems trying to go at once)

u/MissMagus — 3 months ago

Ugly comedown today - send me your songs

I wanna hear what everyone's listening to today.

I woke up feeling shitty but I had plans to see a corpse flower bloom. So I went. That was a terrible idea and I'm so surprised I didn't chuck everywhere.

It was pretty cool though.

Send songs. Plz.

u/MissMagus — 3 months ago

I found my lost 6 pack

I hid it a few days ago cause I didn't want it in plain sight and forgot where I hid it like almost immediately

3 days later - I found it today finally.

Cheers 😂

reddit.com
u/MissMagus — 3 months ago

This is just about to be life forever ain't it?

Hungover today. And still drinking. Drank hard on Sunday and it carried over till Monday. Then I got invited out to drink last night and I gotta push through today cause I have physical therapy tomorrow.

I'm in a decent mood now at least. Today started off very rough 😅

I'm supposed to be sobering up but goddamn I was not about to deal with the fear, shakes, pukes, and shits today. (Let's be real, I'll still have the shits)

I hope everyone else gets through today and tomorrow as well. I've not been trying to be distant, I've actually been drinking a lot lately - just trying to avoid my phone more for mental health reasons!!

u/MissMagus — 4 months ago

I got some neglected monsteras and buried their stems when I re-potted - that's bad right?

Prefacing this with I am a VERY new plant mom. I just got into this hobby in early March after my cat passed away.

So I rescued a monstera (4) in pretty rough shape last month (they were left alone in an apartment for an entire year with hardly any light, hence the legginess). I separated them and repotted each - and due to one of the supports being too wobbly, I had to re-pot the smallest one the other day. I noticed it's stem was yellowing, and after some research I learned it's not wise to bury the stems 🙃

Well I did that for all 4 - including the big 6 foot tall one.

Do I have to dig them all out and do it correctly? I think I know my answer. I'm just asking in case there's conflicting views or something. I feel like an idiot, but at the same time I am only 2.5 months into learning everything. It took forever getting that 6 ft tall one situated - I have pictures of what they looked like when I brought them home in my post history.

Pictures 1, 2, and 3 are the ones I'm worried about. Picture 4 is the recent re-pot with the stem above the soil. The last 2 pictures are of the whole busted ass crew.

I have plans to prop them eventually, but I can't bring myself to cut them yet. There's new leaves coming in on plant #2 and #3 so I can't be screwing up THAT bad.

Any advice would be amazing 🥲

((Also I water when the soil is dry, they've only been watered once since I got them. I feel like the big one is in too big of a pot but that's the only pot I had to support the trellis, and it's the same pot they were in before I separated them))

u/MissMagus — 5 months ago

I buried my stems - that's bad right?

Prefacing this with I am a VERY new plant mom. I just got into this hobby in early March after my cat passed away.

So I rescued a monstera (4) in pretty rough shape last month (they were left alone in an apartment for an entire year with hardly any light, hence the legginess). I separated them and repotted each - and due to one of the supports being too wobbly, I had to re-pot the smallest one the other day. I noticed it's stem was yellowing, and after some research I learned it's not wise to bury the stems 🙃

Well I did that for all 4 - including the big 6 foot tall one.

Do I have to dig them all out and do it correctly? I think I know my answer. I'm just asking in case there's conflicting views or something. I feel like an idiot, but at the same time I am only 2.5 months into learning everything. It took forever getting that 6 ft tall one situated - I have pictures of what they looked like when I brought them home in my post history.

Pictures 1, 2, and 3 are the ones I'm worried about. Picture 4 is the recent re-pot with the stem above the soil. The last 2 pictures are of the whole busted ass crew.

I have plans to prop them eventually, but I can't bring myself to cut them yet. There's new leaves coming in on plant #2 and #3 so I can't be screwing up THAT bad.

Any advice would be amazing 🥲

u/MissMagus — 5 months ago