u/Mistyydoi

It has been a while, people came and went, several nights passed, saw several dreams to escape reality but I am done with everything. It hurts I can't withstand being at my house. It is not home that I wished. Constant demeaning talks and fights are all over as if this is normal. Sometimes I wish I should end my life but then I think about my cat, who will take care of him, who will love him. It hurts living every moment at this place. I am so so tired. I hope I find peace. Please I can't take it anymore. Ahh I hope one day something will find me either death or good life. I would be more than happy to be away from this hell I live in daily. Yk if all this suffering was physical at least people could see that and maybe they support but what do I do with all this mental health breakdown that I have daily. Here no day passes when I don't cry or think of hurting myself. Why the hell am I still alive? What are you keeping me alive for? To see my good future! When will that come? And would that be worth it?

I have always had a hard time making friends and sustaining them. It might be me or them or both that somehow led to fallen friendships. Atp I don't feel like interacting with anybody except my man who has been with me since one year. Everybody around me seems like double faced and can't be trusted. I do have few bonds that I cherish like my sister who is in 8 th standard and my cat (around whom my life revolves) . I sometimes feel like I am too scared to go out and make friends or maybe I just don't have enough energy. Apart from being w my cat I am preparing for my masters entrance exam which is next year. I feel as if I am limiting my space but on the same page it feels as if I am doing the right thing. Maybe going to college next year would fix something. Does that ever happen to you? What would you suggest to a person like me? I want to make friends but idk I am tired of superficial friendships. I am open for dms bdw if anybody want to befriend me.