u/MixFar9980

So like I’m on my first play through of blood borne and just beat the boss at the church of the good chalice and while exploring trying to find where to go next… I got killed by this guy and sent to some kind of prison idk wtf happened but it’s somewhere called the hyphen Goal two graves ahead of where I was and battled some boss that was like a lightning beast I am very confused did I do something wrong or something right?????

I need to get these feelings out. I feel like I have this exact crisis over and over again but I’ve got to get it out before it eats me alive.

I feel so weird and wrong, so for some back ground for me I am a femboy (I’ve seen people be mean to femboys in trans spaces before so I wanna clarify that it’s not a sexual thing and it’s just me dressing up in a cute way for fun) and I live with my gf of 2 years we are both 20 and she does know I’m a femboy and is very supportive.

As far back as I remember I have been dressing up as a girl, once I even stole some skirts and danced around in them when I was like 8. Sense coming out as a femboy to my girlfriend I’ve been able to dress openly a lot earlier but it still feels like something is missing, like I’m not whole in a way idk. I’m really confused I thought I had figured myself out when Ai came out as a femboy I felt happy and content.

Idk if I’m trans it’s not like I hate being a guy I’m quite happy as a guy but I also don’t know if I would be happier as a girl. I’m kinda scared of transitioning as a whole like I love the idea of a smooth body and boobs but it’s not like I hate my Willy and I don’t want it to get smaller that’s kinda scary. I’ve also heard stories of people developing an attraction to guys after being on hrt and I don’t want that I love my girlfriend. I don’t think she would really care that much if I was trans sense she’s bi and likes me dressed up too.

I get these feelings every year and every year I decide that I’m not trans and I’m just over thinking things but I wanna get all my feelings out because it’s eating me alive and I feel like if I told anyone this they’d think I was trans when idk what I am

Sorry for this mess of emotions thank you for reading this if you have gotten this far, I really appreciate it

okay so I know that people use wig conditioner but I’m kinda short on cash atm so I was wondering if using regular conditioner watered down or otherwise would help?

okay so I’m playing blood borne for the first time and while exploring outside of the hospital area I went behind and random tree and a massive figure grabbed me left me on the equivalent of 1 hp and dumped me back where I left… and like WTF WAS THAT

Idk if this makes any sense I‘m exploring old yarnem atm and I don’t wanna go back rn for a video