u/Mk2k0519

I got banned on the antinalist subreddit for this.

Last year, I had to make the most difficult decision of my life. I left democratic socialism and stopped being a socialist completely because I saw the harsh truth about its economic platform and why it fails in the long run. I was also horrified by how social liberals “intoxicated” that ideology.

I support the LGBTQ+ community, same-sex marriage, and adoption by same-sex couples. However, I oppose the use of neopronouns and the use of singular it/its or they/them pronouns for specific individuals. I believe that he/him should be used for cisgender, gay, and transgender men, while she/her should be used for cisgender, lesbian, and transgender women. I also oppose multi-stall, gender-neutral public restrooms, and I am extremely skeptical of transgender athletes participating in sports categories intended for cisgender athletes. I believe that separate teams would make more sense. In addition, I oppose illegal immigration, despite being a strong supporter of legal immigration.

Expressing these views caused backlash from progressives, social democrats, and democratic socialists, and I was even banned from r/lgbt. I thought I could remain a socialist by identifying as a social democrat, since social democracy seemed more economically practical. However, my moderate position on LGBTQ+ issues was clearly unwelcome within my former political ideology.

Some progressives in the subreddits I mentioned went so far as to call me a MAGA supporter and a fascist. They seemed to treat any position that was not left-wing as automatically fascist, regardless of what the position actually was. They also appeared to believe that democratic countries would be better off without conservative parties. Do these people understand the true meaning of democracy? Ultimately, I had to make the painful decision to leave socialism altogether.

The problem is, I can’t stand the right either. I wanted the country I live in to pass a law allowing lifelong dual citizenship, but no party is willing to do it because of how right-wing the country is. Exclusive nationalism is hurting me because I’m a dual citizen, and relatives who support ultranationalist or far-right parties are being hypocritical toward their own multicultural family.

I try to show love for my home country to my countrymen, but it’s never reciprocated. Meanwhile, I’m being forced to show nationalism toward my other country, which makes me uncomfortable since I never grew up there. I’m a cosmopolitan patriot, but there are times when I want to drop the word “patriot” and become a full-blown cosmopolitan internationalist if this is how I’m going to be treated by both countries.

I come from a country that is one of the most natalist in Asia, and I’m always being pressured to have children or told the usual line that I’ll change my mind, even though they already know how chaotic my family is. I have a lot of nieces and nephews who ended up growing up in broken, unstable households, either because their biological fathers simply impregnated my aunts or female cousins and weren’t present in the child’s life, or because their parents divorced while they were still toddlers, forcing them to grow up with single parents. In some sad cases, they had to deal with multiple stepdads due to breakups or divorces. There are even times when I overhear relatives cheating on their spouses while the children, my nieces and nephews, are forced to cope with it.

The amount of chaos, authoritarian Asian parenting in my family, and the drama I experienced with certain individuals during adolescence and early adulthood are the reasons why I’m antinatalist.

At this stage in my life, I consider myself a moderate, a hardcore centrist, and a realist. I’m generally politically homeless, but if I were to join a political party, I would be a Christian democrat (e.g., the CDU in Germany) or a centrist conservative (e.g., a moderate Republican or a Blue Dog Coalition Democrat). Although I value autonomy, I value law and order first because I won’t have autonomy without security.

I’m also a realist because I want to understand the truth about the world and human nature. I’ve come to the conclusion that realism is neither inherently left-wing nor right-wing; it challenges the ideals of both sides.

I can’t stand the natalism aggressively promoted by the right - and even by some progressive natalists -but I also oppose the left’s socially progressive maximalism, which some people would describe as “woke” and which, in my view, is making society increasingly hypersensitive.

I support early-stage abortion, as well as both fault-based and no-fault divorce. Although no-fault divorce involving couples with children makes me uncomfortable, I have to be realistic about the complexities of such situations.

Sadly, some people on the left have gone so far as to label me a reactionary MAGA supporter, even though I am neither.

I am just a moderate antinatalist who is also a realist.